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Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers as you find your way through this latest challenge . . . ❤️

I'm sorry for all your losses. Mati was beautiful. She looks a lot like my baby Nile. Super fluffy! My cats are family. As Kayc said, pets is just a simple name that is deemed more acceptable. I had a soulcat too. His name was Beck. They all mean the world to me but Beck was just different. I know I'll never meet another like him. I can relate to your bond with Mati.

Hello Nile, With your last Solensia shot, the tech advised me you've lost weight. I noticed too... It's getting difficult to feed you your medicated food. I've started mixing Sylvester and Machete's regular food more and more to get you to eat. And that's okay. The last thing I want to do is deny you food. If you like it, you can have it. I learned the hard way with Beck that giving you food you don't like is just cruel. I've also noticed you fall now. I've seen you do it twice. Your back legs are giving out on you. When Cleo was at her last few weeks she did the same. I'm preparing myself for the worse. I'll never be ready but I'll be as ready as I can to help you transition to the meadows. I hope I can have an at-home euthanasia. We will see what happens. You're still in good spirits and run around a lot so I'm not at the point of saying good bye. I just want to make sure you're comfortable and living the best life you can. I can see you're still happy. I'm willing to get you a stronger pain med if that's what you need and I know I need to be very vigilant at the same time. Other than pain meds I refuse further treatment. I love you and I won't let you suffer. I want to make your last while with me the best I can. Extra treats and more and more of the food you enjoy. You don't know it yet but you're getting a bath today, and a thorough brushing. Your spring coat is shedding and I can see mats! I don't want you to get those, I know how painful they can be. I will ask for forgiveness later for the bath, with a lot of cheese treats. They're you're favourite and I bought them with you in mind. Love you!

Hello @Rudderless, I haven't been on the site much lately , it's just so hard to put grief feelings into words at times, I think to myself: "What am I gonna say?", but when I checked in and saw your post, I was particularly touched. You echo my words so much, I thought I was going crazy with my "stuck in denial" situation after three and a half years. I'm not ready to pronounce that "d" word you mention that you can finally say out loud. I don't think I ever will be ready. You've passed a giant hurdle and I'm glad for you, wishing you all the strength you need for you and your young family. I also see every part of my husband in my two adult children, both physically and through their behavior and way of reasoning. I find that my husband is speaking through me in certain occasions, he's helping me out a lot in solving problems. We always say: "this is what dad would do/think/say". I love that, it keeps me going, but for me, their dad is just "not here" whereas on the other hand he is present in our lives in every way, even if not physically. His influence on our way of life, our decision-making, his legacy of knowledge, these precious gifts we have from him are giving us our fuel to carry on, "taking" him with us for the rest of our lives. I also have difficulty talking to my son and daughter, it's just still so painful, there is no perfect time perhaps to talk , it will all just happen gradually and spontaneously, without planning anything. There are "no rules in grief", like my friends here on this site have perfectly explained to me. Wishing you better, more peaceful days.

I worked with him for over four years. He was always happy with a boisterous laugh. He embellished the truth all the time, but it just made him entertaining. Everyone at work is affected by this, myself included. I only work there part time now for the time being until I find another job, and last time I saw him he apologized to me for something that had happened. At first I said he had nothing to be sorry for because what happened was not his fault. But he insisted and I accepted his apology. He thanked me before he left for the day. I am so so glad I accepted his apology because if I hadn't I would carry that guilt forever. Last month he was so excited as he showed me pictures of the motorcycle he was hoping to buy. Two weeks ago he was so excited as he told me he was going on a road trip to a neighbouring province to visit a friend. Two days ago he died riding his bike when he collided with a moose on the highway on the way to visit his friend. I'm no stranger to a sudden death but for some reason I'm really struggling to wrap my mind around the fact that I spoke to him just last week and now he's gone forever. It's strange. I know he wouldn't want anyone to be sad, or at least not for too long. I feel bad for his wife. And the moose. The whole situation is just so ugly. RIP J.K.

Estates are horrible to settle, best if you don't have to go into probate. Went through that with my sister's place, left to all nine nieces/nephews but lawyers and CPAs took a lion's share. Will over 20 years old, she was in the process of trying to redo it when she died, lawyer never called her back. My brother handled the estate as I'm in my 70s. I appreciate the headache he took on and thankfully he has a wife and grown kids that helped whereas I'm alone and don't have the strength. I'm sorry for your loss. Parent Loss: Continuing Their Song

You might enter their picture in Google image, I often do when looking for recipes. They will come up with some and check on the sites they show to the right.. Yesterday was crazy. My passwords disappeared so I had to type them in, which meant I had to look them up. See why I spent over three days/nights changing them and recording them in a pw protected spreadsheet? It's a good thing I did. Yay Windows 11. Also, I could not get into chat/messenger, not even in our group one in FB. It didn't accept my pin, which I remember and set about a week ago. It sent me a code on my mobile phone but didn't tell me how it was sending it, and I didn't have that on. It opened in AVG browser, not Chrome, which I use. What a mess! I had Lynne call me and verify what I remembered of our discussion when they came up with this. Was so tired! Slept 9 hours last night, I needed it. I got rid of more stuff in the garage. Somebody wanted the computers sitting by my garbage, I said sure, I can't tell you how old they are, maybe windows 95? Hard to remember, but before I got my windows 7 in 2009. I remember giving Windows 98 to a friend along with a printer so this would be before that. Doubt they'll run and they'd been sitting outside, got rained on a bit. Passwords all changed and visa numbers since I used it. He wants to use them for gaming, good luck with it. I have contacted them every way I know to (Don Jackson, the contractor, is in charge and has given them the message several times, also a friend called the church yesterday morning and they said they would call me, still haven't, been four days now.) At this point all I can do is wait and hope they do. I fixed this yesterday, it was seriously out of this world! Iris asked for some so took some to her. I made some changes to it, cut down and added sausage: Keto Eggplant Parmesan Ingredients · 2 medium eggplant sliced into 1/2 inch slices (1…13) · 1/2 teaspoon salt · 2 cups keto bread crumbs (1…0) * See notes · 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning · 3 large eggs (cut to 1…0.6) · 3/4 cup almond milk (cut to ¼…0.25) · 2-3 tablespoons oil to fry Avocado oil (0) · 4 cups keto marinara sauce (12 oz 9) · 3 cups mozzarella cheese freshly grated (1 ½ cups 4.2) · 1 cup parmesan cheese freshly grated ( ½ cup 0) · 1 lb Sausage cooked (0) Instructions 1. Sprinkle salt on all your eggplant slices and let them sit for an hour to draw out moisture. Use a paper towel to dab them after they have drawn out the liquid. 2. Preheat the oven to 180/350F. Grease a large baking dish and add around one cup of the marinara sauce to the bottom of it. 3. *In a small bowl, add the bread crumbs and Italian seasoning and mix together. In a separate bowl, combine the eggs and milk and whisk together. Dip each eggplant slice in the egg wash, followed by the bread crumb mix, ensuring both sides are coated. Place them all on a plate or baking tray until ready to cook. 4. Add the oil in a large non-stick pan. Once hot, add a single layer of eggplant slices and cook both sides until golden brown. Repeat until all the eggplant slices are cooked. 5. Add a single layer of the fried eggplant into the base of the baking dish. Spoon a little marinara sauce on top of each one, followed by a generous layer of the mozzarella cheese and the parmesan cheese. Repeat the process until all the eggplant has been used up. Sprinkle the top of the baking dish any remaining cheese. 6. Bake the eggplant parmesan for 20-25 minutes, until the cheese is golden and bubbly. Turn it on a high broil for the last 3 minutes. 7. Remove the eggplant parm from the oven and let it sit for five minutes before serving. Notes * If you don’t want to make keto bread crumbs, you can use almond flour. If you don’t fry before baking, bake 350 45 minutes. Can cook w/o peeling. TO STORE: Store leftovers in the refrigerator, covered, for up to 5 days. TO FREEZE: Place portions of the eggplant parm in an airtight container and store them in the freezer for up to 6 months. TO REHEAT: Microwave portions for 30-40 seconds until warm, or reheat in a preheated oven until the cheese has melted. TO MAKE AHEAD: Prepare everything as instructed, then cover the baking dish completely in aluminum foil. Either refrigerate it for 3 days in advance or freeze it for up to 2 months in advance. When ready to cook, bring the baking dish to room temperature and bake it for 30-35 minutes. Do not bake from frozen. 8 servings, 5 net carbs each #recipe https://thebigmansworld.com/keto-eggplant-parmesan/... I would cut to 1 egg and ¼ c. almond Milk Cut mozzarella and parmesan in half, use at least 1 c. Panko crumbs and/or almond flour, 1-2 eggplants. Cut portion to 4 and cut Italo’s sausage Pasta Sauce to 12 oz, you’ll have 12 oz left to put in freezer for something else. This will also cut the carbs. THEBIGMANSWORLD.COM Keto Eggplant Parmesan (Restaurant Style!) - The Big Man's World ® This keto eggplant parmesan is a delicious (4 servings 6.75)

My mum died over a year ago. We had been part of a complicated contentious probate matter for many years before she died and my grandmother's estate is not complete. I never knew my father's family and barely my mother's and because of the court case am now totally estranged. I have no partner, siblings or children. I am living in a new place where I know no one and go nowhere except the supermarket. I have both estates to complete, 45 years of both of their lives to go through and multiple legal problems including the court case which hasn't truly finished. I also keep getting additional challenges like an energy bill that was over £4,000 but I battled the company and I was found to actually be in credit. Now I'm battling them again and another energy company who supplied the house my mother inherited. I make the necessary phone calls to gather the information I need to get Mum's estate settled but it never seems to filter through and I have to keep doing it over and over and over again. I know I've not processed Mum's death because I thought at the time everything else can wait I need to get the estates done. When my grandmother died, it triggered the process for my dad. The court case meant I didn't finish processing either his or my grandmothers death. He died suddenly over 20 years ago and I never grieved. It has taken over 20 years for me to stop being absolutely crippled by guilt and just feel guilty. Dad and I were estranged due to his behaviour caused in part by alcoholism. My life revolved around four people and they are all dead. Each one died and left me in a bigger mess than the last one. I have spent my whole life thinking I need to sort them then I can get on with my own life. Now, the more I do, the more there is to do. Whether it be day to day life or sorting the estates. I know no one and nowhere and my health is not great. I am trying to pick up the broken pieces of my life but I am so tired. All I can be sure of is I am failing and failing miserably. A few months before she died my mother said she had to leave my father when she did as she couldn't allow him to keep destroying me. It suddenly made sense why she was always so irritated with me. He was her soul mate and she couldn't have him because of me. I promised her several things I would do for her if she didn't get time to do them herself. Being me it absolutely all I can do. She has truly had the last laugh. They all have. What a mess.

I found out the oil goes rancid when i was cooking a whole pan of chicken with it. Somethimg smelled funny but i had no idea. one taste and it went out. I had found some japanese bowls that i liked but no plates to go with so ill get something rustic think. There is a style of light brown pottery thats of a southwest or N American style but cant think of the name and dont see it. Those are very pretty plates. I understand my folks a bit more now. Whereas I would rather shop online to get better selection and not waste time...they enjoyed getting out and going shopping. my dad esp would rather run to several stores looking for something. But I like that i can get a much better selection online. Thats esp true when shopping for books. So much better selection online and at better prices than at a normal bookstore. Can you contact the Mormons or ask someone to do that for you? im sure theyre busy so maybe just running late. Really pretty today, 70s, overcast and breezy. hoping for rain soon. Went to the store and got some avocado oil. I have bought a Tfal stickfree pan so will try it next time I cook chicken. Also bought some stirfry vegetables. And sweet pickles. Ive started eating them again. Mom and her best friend when she was a girl would spend saturday afternoons at the movie theater watching Flash Gordon eating a big pickle and drinking a coke. watched the squirrels playing on the roof. they run on the metal carport roof and it sounds like a herd. My neighbor has a young hounddog that they let sit on the patio. I went out to water my plants and he just looked at me, so sad. Seems cruel. Hoping your week goes well. take care

Given how you describe your relationship with both your boys, and given how long this has been going on in your family, you would be wise to consider some professional guidance and support. There is way too much to unpack here, to think that you can do it all by yourself. Meeting with a qualified grief counselor or family therapist could go a long way in helping you open the lines of communication with your sons and come to terms with the death of your wife ~ and their mother. See, for example, Seeing A Specialist in Grief Counseling: Why It Matters How We Mourn: Understanding Our Differences Supporting Children and Adolescents in Grief In Grief: Coping with Denial and Disbelief

Thinking of you...

Say a prayer, it's been over two days and no phone call from the Mormon missionaries...I can't move the stuff out and have the work done without their help. There's literally no one at my church that can help me, no one young enough, strong enough, hardly anyone there but old people and not many of them. Same with neighbors, although I'm the oldest.

Have a frank talk with your son, long overdue, tell him you are sorry, ask him what you can do to bury the hatchet...then do it. I am sorry for your loss. It's been nearly 19 years Father's Day I lost my husband, George. It was the 19th that year, and I've lived alone since except when my son was between Air Force and college, and my daughter was here a short time after George died. You think you did something silly, I did something worse when in grief fog...I married. Idiotic, I know, he never lived with me, just used my credit, to the tune of $57,000.00. I'm still paying on it all these years later. I know what I was thinking, I didn't want to do to my kids what my mom had done to us kids...I didn't want to make my life about my adult children, squelching them. I felt I needed to rebuilt my life. Fine job of it, huh? His name is Con John. I divorced him when I came to, should have been able to annul it but it was too late by then. I haven't had any contact with him in years. He's been on the lam so I can't collect what he owes, he's good at hiding, from anyone. I live my life alone with my service dog, growing older (71 now) alone in the country where life is hard. You have finally been able to acknowledge your wife is dead. That's a start. Is it possible to get any photos from family? I know you haven't forgotten what she looks like...you see her in your son's eyes. I miss my husband every day he's gone, nothing changes that. I can't listen to our music, I can't look at pictures of a life once lived... We are like ghosts...

I miss you Tiger. I miss so much about you...the weathers been a bit cold so Im yet to clear the garden and plant spring flowers for your grave. I havent forgotten. Snuggles has been looking after and gives me lots of cuddles. Im sure he misses you so much too. He sits on his perch looking out at the garden. Im so grateful that I was blessed with you both. Honestly, you both are my heart and I love you both. I wonder how you have been? What you would be doing if you was here with me and snuggles now. I miss you dearly Tiger....your literally always on my mind and im so grateful for our bond and for all the love, comfort and cuddles you gave me over the years.... Love you ...in this life and all the way into the next one. Xxx

This is quite long. I just have to get it if me otherwise I'd keep it bottled up and that won't end well. My wife died. This is the first time I truly acknowledged it. I never pretended that she left me or that I left her. I never pretended that she is just somewhere far away. But somehow, for the past 12 years, I never connected the words “died” or “dead” with her. In my mind and when I refer to her, it is “lost my wife.” Typing those words hurt like hell. It brings a heavy finality. She is not just gone or lost but dead. She’s not coming back. And like the wedding vows we made—till death do us part—she has parted from me and I from her. I acknowledged that the woman I love is dead. Now what? Continue living, some might say. It hurts to look at her. Not through pictures. I made sure that photos with her on them were… disposed after her funeral. I may be a monster by doing that; I acknowledge it. It’s no excuse, but sometimes, grief makes people do silly things. Like I said in my first post, my two sons are living reminders. The eldest is now 24 and he has her eyes. Green with hints of blue. And like his mother before him, those orbs can blaze like Greek fire or—as my youngest calls them—Avada Kedavra eyes (apparently that’s a Harry Potter thing). The last time I saw those eyes blaze with fury was years and years ago, when he was in high school. I think he was telling me to actually buy something and not ask my aide. As anybody can guess, that did not go down well. He was punished. The next time I saw those eyes, the fire was gone. They were dead, glassy, and resigned. My son works with me now and he is very polite. Painfully polite. He addresses me as “sir” at work. I told him he can call me Dad, since everyone knows who he is anyway. But all I got was “The training from HR said it’s not proper to be familiar with the boss, sir.” Might as well be talking to a soldier. When he visits on weekends, I notice that he calls me “Dad” when his younger brother is around. But he slips back to the military-like “sir” otherwise. My youngest is 12; he looks like his mother. Looking at him brings so much pain. I can manage a meal with him, but I look at his forehead when we have to talk. And even that is minimal. I do not know anything about him. I remember the baby that my wife and I used to chase around the house (he hated getting dressed and preferred to be in his diapers only). I know nothing of the boy he’s grown into. I am flying blind. I do not know what to do from here. I do not know how to talk to my boys and tell them I acknowledge their mother’s death now. Denial is over. I’d ask my wife, if I could. She’d know what to say (after perhaps an earful). But she’s not here. My wife is dead.

Avocado oil is my favorite but my store quit carrying it in the bulk. I hope they get it back. Coconut oi is good to bake with. I agree about olive oil. I just had to throw out a huge can of it. That seems such a waste. Like they didn't know and value what they had. I have a great set of Mikasa Studio Nova Tender Bloom Stoneware that I love, have used nearly 30 years. Service for 12 or more... You could even try Goodwill or St Vinnie's for dishes. Any outlet stores would be good for new sets, I got mine there but ordered replacements from Replacements Inc. or on eBay. The original set was way less, replacement pieces is where they get you. Still waiting to hear back from the Mormon missionaries, the builder will talk to them at church. I really need help moving stuff, no way could I do it alone.

And I know it's a necessity in your city. I got a window A/C that seems to take care of the heat here, I know we aren't as hot as there but there was a time we hit 121 and it handled it. Of course you'd need more than one in different parts of the house, I sleep in my living room not my bedroom. Got it on Amazon $2-300. Also, you might check with senior services and the electric company to see if there are any programs/helps. I know in my state they helped people (AFTER I got mine) who didn't have one esp. the elderly.

Id read on seed oils. I use olive oil. Altho i dont like that it burns lower and adds a bit of taste so i just season a bit more. I'll have to try coconut oil. sadly the days of trusting people who do work for you is long gone. You'd want to get it all in writing. But then sometimes they dont know exactly whats involved until they get in there. My Title company made mistakes and assumptions sending my brother a 1099, they assumed Mom was on the deed and sent him Moms half and me Dads half since I had the ladybird Deed. But we had gone to court and taken Mom off the Deed, and you cant even do a Ladybird Deed when someone on the original Deed is deceased. It even says in the opening paragraph naming Dad as the sole owner. And the Title company 'supposedly' voided the 1099 but their system wouldnt print it. No word from them so i need to contact them and get a new 1099 for bro's tax guy. They missed it and they made mistakes and they need to fix or pay for it. Going to send a letter that they will sign for asking for a copy showing void to be sent to me and to him. I suspect theyre BSing me and it will be a problem. This i what my bro doesnt understand about owning a home. Things break and its expensive. Im sorry it happening and hope things work out for you. Im grateful nothing else happened to the house before I sold it. The folks that moved in had an open house for family and neighbors. Neighbors told me they did new carpet, repainted, wood floor in kitchen and bathrooms. But the wood trim and kitchen cabinets they painted. they painted the beautiful wood. Diet/nutrition...I developed allergy to oils, and KFC was how I found out. When I worked for target years back i was eating a burger and fries every day i worked. My metabolism crashed every time. Certain foods etc do that still. But I still crave. Id love tater chips rt now. $1000, thats a relief. Glad its working out. Houses can get scary at times. Good thing you know how to do alot of things. That can be an advantage of an apt IF they will fix things. But at times thats a big if. I think im going to try making some lettuce wraps. Do you eat salads/lettuce etc? Well i'm finally ordering some real dishes. We used two sets at the house and they were real nice. but big formal sets and most of it i didnt need. So it sold in the sale. I've been using plastic but I think it's time to get real dishes. Hopefully things are quiet for a few days. Take good care.

Kay, I'm so glad there is a cheaper solution. I've been worried for you all day. Every summer I hold my breath when we start the AC. For the last 3 years, my HVAC guy has been replacing parts to keep it going. It's at least 30 years old and he scrounges for parts. He told me last summer that it's on it's last leg and a new unit is around $12000. All I can do is cross my fingers. Barely have $12 to spare, much less $12000. Sure love these "Golden Years".

The contractor just left...I requested two bids, one for short term emergent to save my essential room with electrical, water tank, pipes, and freezer, and the other for the back of the carport. He agreed. I told him I understand wood fluctuates by the week (Random Lengths comes out with it's pricing every week...I used to be Office Mgr for a mill) but it'd give me an idea give/take. I feel so relieved! He's going to call the Mormon missionaries to have them give me a call and I can arrange a time with them and get a dumpster up here meanwhile and he'll provide a dolly to them. Later when I've had $ saved up I can do the back of the carport. I discovered a "blower & box" that weighs a ton that needs moved, I didn't even know I had it...that will go into the dumpster if they can get it in there. A truck will move it when it's full. Now that I have a plan, I am so relieved! I don't want the carport going too long w/o the back replaced so will do my best to save $ for it. Still no prices but he said what he does to save my tank/electrical room will be under $1,000. Whew!

The contractor just left...I requested two bids, one for short term emergent to save my essential room with electrical, water tank, pipes, and freezer, and the other for the back of the carport. He agreed. I told him I understand wood fluctuates by the week (Random Lengths comes out with it's pricing every week...I used to be Office Mgr for a mill) but it'd give me an idea give/take. I feel so relieved! He's going to call the Mormon missionaries to have them give me a call and I can arrange a time with them and get a dumpster up here meanwhile and he'll provide a dolly to them. Later when I've had $ saved up I can do the back of the carport. I discovered a "blower & box" that weighs a ton that needs moved, I didn't even know I had it...that will go into the dumpster if they can get it in there. A truck will move it when it's full. Now that I have a plan, I am so relieved! I don't want the carport going too long w/o the back replaced so will do my best to save $ for it. Still no prices but he said what he does to save my tank/electrical room will be under $1,000. Whew!

Thank you, Marty!

Granted, Kay ❤️

I wouldn't doubt it... Thank you!

If you knew what I knew about seed oils...let's just say don't use Canola, vegetable oil, use avocado oil, or olive oil or coconut oil. And olive oil goes rancid quickly. I got a windows update yesterday too, also in the time I'm on my laptop. No snow but more coming this week. Urgent prayer request: I'm having a bid done for the back of my carport to be lifted and replaced...they quoted $2500 before Covid then was told it went up 4-8 times as much, not having $10-$20k laying around I've been waiting for the price to go down...they said it hasn't. The room on the end is the important one, it has the electrical, water tank and pipes...they're doing a bid tomorrow. Today I get a bill from the well people (just paid them $4300 on my M/C) for MORE $ that I'd been told was included in that, now they say not! The guy had said I was in it for $3750, they billed me $4300, now more yet! Kodie and Panther are doing well, they don't have worries!