Chinook

Thank you. My husband wants to go to a preserve and spread his ashes.. hike somewhere where no development will pop up or people travel but the prospect of spreading his ashes causes me great grief. It’s hard. We have a new pet, Nugget she’s a lovable dog but I have a wall up not to love her with all my might like I did with Chinook. Life is a journey that never ends. Thank you listening

Hello All It has been 12 years since my beloved ferret Chinook has passed and many of you are probably wondering why I am still here. I have been happy and sad over the years and sometimes feel guilty for being happy because my pets are gone parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts are all gone. My next journey and perhaps a final step (yes a little late here) is finding a final resting place for the ashes of Chinook and Nikomi. We are a gay couple and Trump supporters meaning my siblings disowned me because I’m gay and my husband of 29 years has been shunned because he’s a Trump supporter. In short we are all alone. When we die Chinook’s ashes will be tossed in trash. We don’t want to put in ashes in backyard of fear of the ground being disturbed. I also want a place where I can visit. My husband laughed when I suggested a pet cemetery since we can’t afford a place for ourselves. We are starting to fight because our China cabinet is a morgue of urns and candles etc. I know he is right but at the same time I can’t bear to let go, I still have his cage in shed and some of his toys and blanket hid out of site. Any suggestions is appreciated, Thank yoy

Sorry about Arlie. It is very hard even today for my Nikomi. 6 days after Chinook. February sucks for me and thank you for providing a space for m to express. . Respectfully Tim

This Saturday, February 22, 2020 at 6am will be exactly 8 years since my ferret, my Chinook passed. The hardest part losing Chinook as I had every pet you could think of over my life span, Chinook was special. I found him or he found me. He should have been put down November of 2011 as I saw signs of cancer with the thinning of hair loss on his tail. Some ferrets do that and it grows back but it is also a sign of cancer. Starting a new job at the same time, November 2011, money was hard. No excuse. I did not want to see the signs. I did not want to take him to the vet because we already lost Nikomi, he was only a year and a half, Chinook;s buddy, we bought him at a pet store. I was afraid what the vet would say but I knew. We thought Nikomi had a cold but were we wrong, he had a rare cancer only found in young ferrets. I did not want to hear those words. Chinook suffer and passed on his own the following February. The guilt to this day is killing me. The selflessness but he knew I loved him but now I feel, he is looking down thinking, "you telling me you could have stopped all that pain??" My thought process, he had some life happiness, his favorite snack or a snuggling with me, he had some joys but I was blind. Like others on this site, my grief is an ongoing journey. There is no time clock. My husband, mother, and others are sick of me talking about him. They want me to sop collecting ferret themed items. There is no ferret replacement in our household. Even though I would love another ferret as I loved Nikomi too even if he was with us for a short time but at the same time this ferret would never be my Chinook. I hired another singer, Moss Cooper a young man to put my song I wrote to describe my pain and dedication, redemption, forgiveness. The words are harsh towards me but isn't that how guilt works. I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way. Here is my song. It is a video of still pictures of Chinook and me describing my guilt, my love, and my plea for his forgiveness. Forgive Me My Pet

Coming here to say I miss you Chinook and Nikomi. February is around the corner and I am going to be in a blue funk for the whole month.

Beautiful comments from you all. This is such a wonderful soulful community. Thank you all

Years have gone by since my life changed forever. I am now medicated and in therapy. My family has it with my obsession with ferrets, perhaps I am trying to fill in a gap in my life. I still will not turn off my torch for my Chinook, they can't make me for I will never betray his memory. I am getting better I feel and have done my last memorial video of Chinook, a milestone in my ongoing grief, 5 years later. This is for you my Chinook. Your life is being celebrated and I pray I will see you in Heaven and you will remember me. My Nookie

My heart goes out to you and know your pain. Hang in there

http://olivianewton-john.com/LIVON-announcement.html I am a big Olivia Newton John fan and she has a song for all occasions. One her recent songs, "Let Go, Let God" has been helping me but she is coming out with a new CD strictly for the grieving soul. FYI Olivia Newton-John, Beth Nielsen Chapman & Amy Sky Create “LIV ON” - A New Album to Aid & Comfort Those Experiencing Grief & Loss While Using the Power of Music To Heal

"Eye for an Eye" is a tear jerker movie starring Sally Field. She gets revenge on the killer of her daughter which I am not condoning but her acting performance dealing with grief throughout the movie is so powerful it is unbelievable. There is a scene where the smell of her daughter on her pillow that got washed in the washing machine in error and she went unhinge because the last remaining partial of her daughter was gone. So powerful, I burst out crying.

OMG Chivon. What a tragic accident. I feel your pain and sorrow. I am so so sorry for your loss. My suggestion would to write a journal to write those hurtful feelings and emotions down. Marty and her associates are very compassionate people, listen to them, they helped me with the loss of my pets. Nikomi- (ferret) 2009 Chinook (ferret) 2012 Logan (dog) 2014 Mr. Ripley (cat) 2014 Snickers (dog) 2013

I am so sorry for your lost. My pets, pet companions are like my fur-kids and even with the loss of many pets it seems in the last few years you can drive your self crazy with "What If's or I Should haves" When I feel guilty and I do, I try to think that my furry friends knew I loved them with all my heart and I did the best I could. Accidents will happen. It is like thinking your parents should be perfect from a child's perspective but in the end parents are no one special, they are just people whom happen to had kids and there is no training when you become a parent. Parents do the best they can be and most do and some don't. What I am trying to say, do not kick yourself on whatever guilt you may have, what ever it was it was not intentional and the fact you are here your love Nitro is profound. So many people do not even flitch when their pet dies, okay let's get another one like replacing a light bulb. Hang in there. God Bless

Thank you Feralfae.

I had an songwriter and an singer so I could make this final tribute to my beloved Chinook. Unknown to the talent parties, this song was completed on 2-22-14, 2 years to the day Chinook went on to the Rainbow Bridge. Everyone on this site has been so kind and loving, I wanted to share this with you all. Everyone has been so helpful, guiding me to books and sharing your own wisdom and insight. God Bless Tim Smith Phoenix, Arizona. ************OMG, NOVEMBER 4, 2015..... I have been reading some old posts because I was very a little blue missing my Chinook and just realized now after all this time I put in the wrong video in my original post, "The Cat From Outer Space"... Below is the video and song of Chinook the Ferret. Funny, well it is not funny but sometimes I feel myself not grieving for Chinook then I go into this fit of guilt like I am forgetting him which I am not. Even this past Halloween, they say its the day "when the dead return to their loved ones by a camp fire", we have all heard that saying so I took pictures where his cage was and is favorite playing spots which of course has changed with rearranged furniture a new carpet almost like he would not recognize the place. There were no balls of light not even a reflection of dust or a light bulb to humor my sense of hope. Chinook has moved on I am told may-be I am starting to too but feel guilty doing so... Thank you again for always being here allowing me to vent my most private hurtful memories and of course joy. ODE TO CHINOOK THE FERRET LINK TO SONG http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1d3fir_ode-to-chinook-the-ferret_animals