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About KarenK

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

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  • Date of Death
    May 5, 2013
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice Of The Valley, Phoenix, Az.

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  • Interests
    Outdoor Adventure,
    Native American Culture,
    Watching Movies

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1,156 profile views
  1. Chellaboosmom, We are here to walk beside you on this most heartbreaking path you must now walk. There is no easy way to cope. I am so sorry that you have lost your son. I lost my husband in 2013 and my daughter one year later, both to cancer. His death was "peaceful" and heartbreaking. I had to make the most difficult decision of my life giving permission to remove life support. For as much as I loved my husband, my daughter's death brought me to my knees where I remain. She suffered greatly and like you, those days are forever imprinted on my brain. I understand some of what you are feeling and can tell you that the pain is not as sharp as it once was, but I don't foresee it ever going away. There are still some days where it just seems like a bad dream, but then I realize that I'll never see either of them again. I cry less often and someday you will also. I do hope you have a support system at home or nearby. My son has been my rock and my salvation in addition to all of our family here. We are ready to listen whenever you need us.
  2. It's the damn stupid things that get to me the most. Yesterday, doing some errands, the rips in the steering wheel cover jumped out at me. The cover is old, but chosen by Ron. The rips are from his driving the truck he loved so much, HIS truck, only now it is my truck. I don't think it will ever feel right. And yes, AB3, I feel invisible also.
  3. Cookie, I'm so sorry that you have lost Ranger. Believe in your heart that he and John are together watching over you.
  4. Welcome home, Darrel! Many of us lose our minds temporarily and do & say things totally out of character after the loss of our loved ones. Even after all this time, some days I am still searching for mine. Financial devastation is another side effect for some of us also, as if we didn't already feel stomped into the ground. I have learned to exist one day at a time, doing the best that I can. Tomorrow will have to take care of itself. I'm sorry you have been through such an awful time and hope that your health and financial situation continues to improve. Karen
  5. Kay, I apologize. I should not have been judgmental, especially without knowing the circumstances. Sometimes the absurdity of situations just sets me off. I surely hope he will get some help and their marriage can be saved.
  6. Kay, I feel so bad for your daughter What a snake he is! We can never know what goes on in people's minds or why they seem to have lost them. When Debbie's son Paul was a month old, her husband of 14 years came home from work in the middle of the night and announced "I don't love you. I never loved you", took off his wedding ring and left. She was truly blindsided and called us at 4AM with the news. I had been there just 2 weeks before and all seemed well. He had a complete breakdown and ended up in a mental facility for a time. Ron and I helped in any way we were able, but it was my ex's mother who saved her by moving in and helping her with the 2 small kids for a time. I love that little woman, bless her heart(she has Alzheimer's now). I hope time will soften this blow for her. Somehow we will all pick up the pieces of our lives and go on.
  7. PURPOSE--------------I have been thinking about this for some time now, even more so since I watched last week's episode of "Underground". Harriet Tubman was relating the events of her childhood and fight for freedom. The gist of one of her statements was that you could endure anything if you had a purpose. Yes, I am enduring, but what is my purpose now? I truly can't think of one. I can almost understand how Ron felt as he became more and more ill. He couldn't eat, drink, leave the house, take care of his personal needs, or contribute to society anymore. He felt that he was just taking up space and using air that someone else could use. From age 17, I have always had someone to take care of, provide for, love and nurture, someone who needed me. It is hard to no longer have any of that. I love my son and grandchildren, but they don't really need me. They can do fine on their own. I'm still searching for that new purpose.
  8. My heart goes out to Butch and his family.
  9. Sending winning vibes across the waters to you, Patty. Remember to grit those teeth and bite your tongue.
  10. Gin, So glad your daughters have stepped up to help you with the cleanup. I can't imagine trying to do it alone, much less while you are in pain. Teeth are not my friends right now either. I took a regimen of antibiotics for my infection, and got to the dentist last week so he could replace the temp fillings. Mouth was sore, but all was better until Friday when pain started again. I guess infection had gone into hiding because today it has moved to the left sinus area. Face is all swelled up. So will call tomorrow for a different antibiotic. Grrr! I'm so sick of this. Would love to get a small health break. Kay, glad your surgery went well and that your neighbor is being helpful.
  11. Butch, There are just no words to express the sorrow and heartbreak I feel for you and your family. Peace, my friend.
  12. Patty, Love cannot be explained or justified, nor should it have to be. It is simply felt deep in your heart and soul. Although I have only met you and Steve one time each, you are both beautiful people. My best to you as you celebrate those lives you have loved and lost and the new life that is beginning for you. Life is what you make it.
  13. Marg, I have not considered leaving, but remaining more quiet. I'm sure those of you here get tired of hearing about my many problems. My grief combined with all that I have lost and will lose is simply insurmountable and hopeless. My son had to quit his job in January for health reasons and has been unable to find another one. In addition to struggling with financial responsibilities here, I am now supporting his household. All of this on credit cards that mount each month. I have been very sick for the past two weeks to the point where I couldn't stand up. My bad teeth need temp fillings again and the pain was excruciating. I took so many pain pills they stopped me up. My son brought over some of the leftover colonoscopy prep(nasty stuff) and it worked ,but I lived on the pot for 4 days. My grandson came and stayed with me for a few days in case I passed out trying to walk. I cannot remember the last time I slept for more than 4 hours. The worrying about what to do when I lose this home is on my mind 24/7. Yesterday was my 70th birthday, but no cause for celebration. Did not have a soul to speak to all day except the dog, but she is a good listener. Another year without the birthday call from my daughter. I know how sick I am when I can't even make it to Joe's Bar B Cue for the free meal. I feel totally defeated and hopeless. That is it in a nutshell, so I will shut up about it now. Just please, don't even consider leaving. We need you. I need you. We old southern gals have to stick together.
  14. Oh, Kay, I just saw this post and I'm so very sorry this has happened. I understand the helpless feeling you have. We always want to "kiss it and make it better", but sometimes it is just not possible. My daughter lost her first baby also, due to an overbearing Mother-In-Law. I would gladly have killed the woman at the time. I truly hope your daughter reaches out to you. Sending hugs and love.