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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

can'tbreathe

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  • Posts

    1
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Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    9/22/14
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Boston ma
  1. She passed after a short but brutal illness. I watched her deteriorate for 2 months. She had several surges of recovery during that time, each time giving me hope that she would beat her illness and come home. Then as quickly as the recovery came, it would pass and she would crash worse than she was before. It killed me a little more each day when I went to see her in the hospital. Then she was gone. I still post on her Facebook page, and every day I expect a funny text from her, or a call from her. We used to laugh for hours over nothing on the phone, and not a day went by where we'd text less than 50 times to each other. Things happen, and I want to share them with my friend. My immediate thought when I see something funny, or when I'm shopping and I see something she'd like for her house, is that I have to share it with her. Then, the reality crashes back in and the wind is knocked out of me. Right now, I have her dog. I took her in when she passed. The dog is depressed. I'm depressed. We seem to be depressing each other. I love that dog. Right now the dog is a comfort 50% of the time, and the other 50% she's a bitter stabbing reminder that I'll never have my best friend again. I just want this unbearable pain to stop. I'm functional with work, my husband and kids during the day, but every night I cry. Every morning I cry some more. If I have a weak moment during the day, I cry in the bathroom some more. She was my best friend for 13 years. My Soul Sister. Now with her gone, I feel lost
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