alicefrerichs

After the day I had today, I made an appointment with a grief counselor. Our local news paper will not let the issue go. I know most people do not like police officers but they are human beings with real feelings. The Attorney General with the Department of Justice that lead the investigation does not like police officers. She kept pushing for a walk through and wanted more and more interviews. She actually asked the detectives to go as hard as they could on my husband. They refused. She took almost 9 months to find no guilt but never told us or our attorney. We found out by other means and had to call them to confirm. Our attorney asked for the final report and she told him it was a closed filed. Then she gives the news paper slanted facts with false hoods. Why do they have to do this. It's bad enough as it is. Now it's like we're back at the beginning. We've just started to go out in public agian now we just want to hide away.

Thank you so much for your advice. I've emailed thecompassionate friends to find out if they have a group near me. And I read the article too. I know we need help. I just need to start making the phone calls. Thank you!!!

October 30 2014 my husband and 20 yr old daughter were hunting together when a ricochet bullet hit her in the upper part of her left chest. She died almost instantly. It took 2 hours for the emergency crews to get to them. I was notified of the accident but not given any details. Her fiance and I waited at the hospital for what seemed liked hours before they came and got us. Gave us the tragic news and took us to my husband. I Was in complete shock. When I saw my husband on the ground crying something in me clicked on and I shoved all my emotions done. I needed to take care of everyone and everything. And I did. While everyone fell apart I fought to stay together. not only were we dealing with Rachels death and the fact that it was my husband who had fired the shot. He was under investigation for negligent homicide. He could lose his job. We could lose everything on top of it. Worse case he could go to jail. From October - Mid April I helped my husband cope and get through things. I had gone back to work mid Jan 1/2 days. Mid April we found out no charges would be filled against my husband. He was able to go back to work. After that I broke down. I can't seem to pull it back together. I stopped working late April. Because I couldn't make it through a 1/2 day without falling apart. It hurt so bad it's a physical pain. Sometimes it's hard to breath. I haven't slept a full night since October. Both my girls always let's me know they are home safe for the night. Rachel can't do that anymore and I can't sleep without knowing she is ok. I'm scared I'll start to forget things about her. I want her back so bad. I cry all the time. I find myself getting angry at my husband for taking my baby girl away from my. Even though in my heart I know it was an accident. I don't blame him yet at times I sometimes do! I'm supposed to go back to school (work) September. I work with troubled kids. I don’t know if I can cope with it yet. I've been told that as time goes by the pain gets easier to handle. To me it seems to be getting harder and harder to handle. .