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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Benni

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  • Posts

    2
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Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Best friend
  • Date of Death
    NA
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Stavanger Universitetssykehus, Stavanger, Norway

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Ålgård, Rogaland

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  1. Thank you so much cathyc and kayc for your heartwarming words? its good to know that someone knows how it feels. You are right, friends know how much you care. I might try to contact someone to help me. This helped too tho. Thank you for the insight on her husband. We handle grief differently and im one who needs people around me in difficult situations, so i guess its hard to see why people want to be left alone.
  2. My best friend died this easter, and Im struggling to deal with it. She was the most beautiful person imaginable, and a great sorce of inspiration for everyone she met. I got pregnant a short while before she died and the thought of my baby helped with my grieving. I felt I had to be strong for the baby. However, the foetus died after 20 weeks. I struggle with so many emotions now. The worst is the guilt, because i cant get around it. My friend had eye cancer twice as a child and 3,5 years ago she got brain cancer. We always fought through the hard things. She was such a fighter and the strongest person i know. She never told me she knew she had a year left to live, and i find that so difficult to bear. If i knew, i wouldnt have gone away to australia for my honeymoon in december. We had her bachelorette party when we came back home, and because she was sick it couldnt be everything that i wanted it to be. She had a birthday when i was on my way to australia, and i was late in calling. I was in a "flight mode", and completely forgot about the outside world. Also, I never realized she was dying, because i refused to believe it. The whole of easter i sat by her bed in the hospital. It was so hard to know what to say, and i dont know if i said the right things. By the end she couldnt talk. I said that it was hard to see her in such pain, and that even though i had told her to fight, it was ok if she couldnt take it any more. I talked about how much she meant to me. Earlier she had squeezed my hand. It unsettles me that she waved her hand so much at the end. I wonder if it was a reflex or if she wanted to say something. Now, i feel that its so hard that im not in her family, because people havent acknowledged my grief properly, and its hard to stay in touch with her husband, kids and family. Her husband didnt want contact in the beginning, and he doesnt reach out. Plus, we had to deal with losing our first child this summer. Am trying to reach out to him more now. This is a lot of babbling to read, sorry. I just needed to air some thoughts. My life feels very empty without M and so many things remind me of her. We have known each other all our lives and been best friends for about 12 years.
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