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Katiegirl1219

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Daughter
  • Date of Death
    05/24/2007
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Atlanta, Georgia

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  1. Hi everyone, I am new here, so I hope my story doesn't bore you to tears... I just feel so alone. So in 2007, my mother died. We spoke on the phone every, single day (we lived 5 hours apart) and her death was quite a shock (she had a heart attack) even though she had been ill with emphysema. Missing my mom is one thing, but I have become orphaned because of my father's actions, which has made losing my mom even tougher. My father was married to my mother for 39 years. 6 weeks after she died, he began to date and within 9 months, he married a woman who has 3 children around my age. His life became consumed with her family. He traveled with them, helped her daughter move from Chicago to Florida, spends holidays with them. Things of my mother's that he forbid me to touch were freely given to his wife and her family. His new wife had been married 4 other times. She had a son who had recently committed suicide and she was quite a mess herself. She never tried to have any sort of relationship with me. My disabled son nearly died in 2010 after back surgery and my dad wouldn't even come to the hospital or help me with two younger children I had at home. It was horrible. Thank God he's okay now, but for a month, he suffered with ARDS in the PICU after aspirating after surgery. I asked him to help me move when I got divorced and he wouldn't. I have been completely alone. Skip forward to today, my stepmother's20 year old grandson, who lived with my dad and her, has been arrested and convicted of child molestation. I have underage children, so this means I cannot go to my own father's house -- ever. In fact, the girl he molested, was the same age as my daughter (none of us had ever met him anyway, thankfully). My father sees nothing wrong with anything he is doing -- He has told me if I didn't accept his wife, he wouldn't have a relationship with me. I was angry and called her trash over the phone TO HIM because he is a retired police officer and he knows better. He told me, "you don't give up on people just because they make mistakes..." Oh, but how easily he gives up on ME, his ONLY DAUGHTER. Apparently she overheard me (he probably had me on speakerphone though he denies it) and now she's not speaking to me at all. Her daughter sent me nasty Facebook messages, calling me names and cussing at me. I was upset and deleted it, so now he is calling me a liar over that. This is the same 40-something year old woman who posts pornographic pics of herself online and has been arrested several times for DUIs and drugs. Did my dad give up on her when she had a DUI? NO. He drove her back and forth to work for an entire year and let her move in with them and live off of them for about 5 years. My mother would seriously kill him if she knew he was doing this stuff to me. I am divorced and remarried. I have never asked for a single thing from him -- not a dime of money, not an ounce of help except when I asked him to help me move and he refused. I have been married to a wonderful man for 2 years who has done nothing to my father or stepmother. This past weekend, my stepmother goes on Facebook, looks on my stepdaughter's Facebook (who she was friend's with) and proceeds to friend request my husband's ex-wife. I called my dad. He asks her why she did it and she said, "I have my reasons." So I called her and asked her. She said the same thing, THEN HUNG UP ON ME. Thankfully, his ex-wife did not accept her, but instead messaged her daughter wanting to know who it was. We had to explain to her my stepmother is a nut and we are sorry. So my dad again blames me for all this. He said had I not called her trash, none of this would have been an issue. Okay. So it's all my fault. When he talks about my mother now, it's negative and hateful. He says he never loved her. His name is on the other side of headstone and he now says he doesn't want to be buried there, which has really upset me. I just don't get this at all. He was nothing like this before Helen came along. I am between cutting off a relationship with him - unless he does it first - or living with the fact that his wife is a complete goofball and if I want to have a relationship with HIM, I have to put p with HER and let her do this crap to me. I am so over it. I am so, so over it. He sees nothing wrong with her hurting me and even BLAMES ME for the things she has done. Yeah, I shouldn't have called her trash. So sue me. I was mad. I am not apologizing for it after all they have done. The thing is -- have NO other family. Both of my parents saw to it that we had horrible relationships with everyone in the family, including aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. So besides my husband and children and my husband's family, I have no one. And I'm not dismissing that. I guess I'm just venting that my own biological father can throw me away like yesterday's trash, blame me for all the bad in the relationship, take no responsibility for anything, and yet he can buddy up to his wife's pedophile grandson and porn queen daughter. I just don't get it. I was never a bad kid. I never did drugs, slept around, or drank. I went to school, to college, and had a family. The worst thing I ever did was lie as a teen to get away with a few things (like skipping school). I'm nearly 40 and he still brings that up to me. I have ONE cousin who I am not exactly close to, but we speak. She's a psychologist and doesn't speak to anyone in the family either. So...thanks for hearing me vent. There is more to this but I don't want to bore you anymore than I already have. I know if my mother were alive, none of this would be happening.
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