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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

tanyam

Members
  • Posts

    2
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    MOTHER
  • Date of Death
    APRIL 5, 2016
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    na

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    toronto, ontario
  1. Hi Marty, thanks for getting back to me. I also don't think I'm lucky to get cancer-I would never think that. I mean I should be grateful that the stage is early. That's me trying to find the positive in a very scary situation. Its funny I would never want to go to doctors for fear of finding out something but after my mom passed away, for some reason when I felt that lump there was no hesitation, I just went. I have a voicemail my mom left shortly before she died and she told me she loved me and through my appointments, surgery and treatment I will listen to it because I know if she was here she would say that and be there for me. I also would open both my hands one for God and one for my mom, for them to take my hand and help me through what was coming. I do grieve my mom but what I am saying is that I try hard to not let it get so bad where I end up having panic attacks--thinking of a long life ahead without her seems impossible. My daughter does see me get upset and we both at times while out if we see someone older we may go quiet because we both know what the other is feeling. My mom was there when she was born in the delivery room and in our lives daily. It certainly is something to lose the only person you have loved the longest. My mom is my best friend and without her here, it feels like the world is a little less brighter. Thankfully I have my brother and my sister and we have all become much closer. Thank you for welcoming me to this group.
  2. Hi, just a bit of history with me. I am a 40 year old single mother (father is completely not involved) of a 9 year old daughter. My mother was my everything and she loved her granddaughter more than anything. We talked everyday, went out, did everything together, went on trips. My life always included her, she is my best friend. Two years ago she was diagnosed with a rare cancer and life started to go down hill. My mother's husband (not my father) was not able to deal with doctors so I jumped right into. Last year my brother was also diagnosed with Cancer. Then on April 5th 2016 my mom passed away. I would have panic attacks thinking of having to live life without her, I was only 39 and now both parents were gone. I constantly called my brother and my sister crying, them to. It was just a very hard time for all of us. Two months after my mom passed away, I found out that I had breast cancer(early stage). To say the last two years have been hard is an understatement. Long story short I had to get a lumpectomy then chemo and I am almost done radiation. During my mom's cancer journey, it stressed me greatly. There were upsetting family issues taking place, I was at the hospital 3-4 times a week and then taking calls from doctors/specialists while working and raising my daughter. I somehow feel I brought the cancer on by neglecting myself and upsetting myself. That said, my cancer journey has kept me busy to say the least and as it is almost done I have trouble grieving my mom. I mean I can think of her and than be upset because I miss her, but as soon as I start, I think that by living life this way that I am not being grateful for having an early stage cancer while others do not get so lucky. Then if I don't grieve my mom and stop myself from doing it, I feel I am dishonouring her memory like she meant nothing. This I struggle with this especially since my daughter comes to me at times to tell me how much she misses grandma. I did initially see a grief counsellor prior to finding out I had cancer but I guess I expected more. Not because the counsellor was not good, but I guess I was looking for an unrealistic expectation of feeling better or somehow that my mom dying was not real (although I know it is very real). Not sure how to proceed with this.
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