Dantheman

Amen Kayc.

No one will ever love you as much as your mother (in this world) but life goes on and we must live it to the best of our ability, life is a gift/privilege, I am pretty sure your mom would not like you to be suffering, having severe grief as you are....My mom was my best friend and love of my life, I can trust no other as I did her and never will, however, she did say to me many times not grieve as I have been when God calls her home. .....Yes I am suffering major grief as are my sisters and brothers, I wouldn't want my mom to still be around suffering las she was....I feel very selfish for feeling as I do, I would give anything to receive one last hug and kiss from her.:( I am now back into one of my old hobbies, buying and selling restoring vintage snowmobiles....when the day comes I pickup the guitar again I will know I am back to some to having some normality in my life. P.S. I can't see for s*** right now, I just returned from the eye doctor and my eyes are dilated like a crack head. ....so please excuse my cognitive/grammatical skills Dan

Thank you Robert, I am glad you have your cousin for support. You truly understand...I know people mean well but the dam Platitudes are indeed very annoying....my mother was my best friend/everything, girl friends never liked that I payed my mom so much attention so I always ended up telling them to take a hike or they would give me the ultimatum it's either your mom or me Nope, no Christmas decorations this year, I will give my brother and nephew who live with me a little something for Christmas + I will give to the poor, but other than mass on Christmas day I will not be celebrating as I would if my mother were here....next year I will do my best to donate my time during the holidays, I already have everything in the way of materials (toys). I play guitar for self enjoyment, my main inspiration has always been my mother, so needless to say I haven't picked up a guitar for more than five minutes since my mom passed away, zero desire ....If I do eventually begin to play I will know that I am on my way to recovery....I know I will miss my mom until I take my last breathe, however, right now I consider this feeling as pure hell on earth. Most of my friends are of Italian or Greek descent, their parents or grandparents were from the old country 100% Italian/Greek....they all loved me because I could eat, they were always like "eat" "eat" "eat"...my friends would say common Dan lets go, I would always say no way I am going to eat....I was use to Irish food which all bland, Italian or real Greek food was always huge treat for me. I am 53 and have health issues as well...nothing as serious as a stroke, so I am and will continue to live on the edge (Harley and Snowmobiles) I don't drink alcohol, never could handle it.. Yes, please pray me, my faith has taken a severe blow, I have many doubts...I will do in kind for all suffering grief. All the best Dan

Hello Robert, My mother passed away September, our relationship was very similar to you and and your mothers. I've been care for mom nearly eight years while working a full time job, she had been in and out of hospitals, rehab and you name it. Her main health issue was COPD and Pulmonary Fibrosis. Mom was 82 and had other health issues such as non-diabetic sever neuropathy, chf, bad back, shoulder replacement, week muscles....mom was on oxygen 24/7, regular daily nebulizer treatments, a ton of different medications and inhalers. Anyway my mother was my best friend, though my mother had seven children, I was her primary care giver, part of that being because I was/am a bachelor and I didn't rush her or make a big stink about doing anything for her. and believe me I did things for my mom that I would have never thought in a million years I would do, but I did out of pure love. My mom was a very extraordinary woman (Irish, Catholic) mom still had the accent as well. Robert, my mom has been gone for three months and my heartache is worse now than when she passed away, I was there when mom passed, I held her hand and told her to let go and let God take you into his arms, she looked at me and said I love you and immediately passed away, I closed her eyes....I cannot get that image out of my mind as well as the five days leading up to her death. My mom was my world, my purpose....now I don't care if I live or die....I have nothing. Like you I have been rationalizing my mothers death in that she suffered so and is no longer suffering....my mother would hate the fact that I am suffering from severe grief, she told me many times that she wanted me to go on with life, take care of myself and be happy. So far it's been total hell. I keep praying for Gods help (I am Catholic as well) some days are very difficult, some I get by pretty good....the bad days are very painful. I've yet to be able to change or remove anything from her bedroom (other than the equipment and other items used for her sicknesses) other than that her bedroom is as it was. I suffer from sever depression since 1994 and I am under the care of a physician (Psychiatrist) this sever grief totally over shadows severe depression....I never felt such heartache in my life. My siblings are grieving in their own different ways, they do not understand why my grief is so great and is lasting so long....I think it will be a year before I begin to somewhat enjoy life. Pray for me