Autumn2

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    86
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About Autumn2

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Spouse
  • Date of Death
    12/04/2016
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Na

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Arizona
  1. I hope you have a "good" birthday. Sending you hugs, cake and icecream.
  2. Geez, I am so very sorry for everything. i just dont get it when it comes to money. I have been fortunate. Everything was in order and still a real challenge BUT in my experience in life (73 years) I have seen families torn apart by a teapot. I just dont get it! You have been thru so much and if I understand it is one of your kids, no less. I am sure your heart is doubly heavy. This is a grewt group and you will learn you probably are not alone...not that that makes it even easier. Hugs.
  3. I, too, just watched this and enjoyed it. Sad but funny too.
  4. Eagle-96 I can so relate to your regret and guilt. If I and the hospital had only done things differently. I have written about what happened a whole back so won'tgo into it again. Bottom line...at the time I was with my husband as he was having a horrible time breathing and What did I say "keep your oxygen mask on, slow your breathing, etc. " and was holding his right arm down as the nurse on the other side was holding his left arm down. So he couldnt pull his oxygen off. I remember it so vividly...the sheer terror in his eyes and I had the opportunity to say "I love you so much" and didnt. Looking back I realize I was numb and still thinking or not he was going to be alright. Once he was sedated and intubated and had the massive heart attack I never had the opportunity to say those words. Lots of other things I regret, the hospital messed up bad, etc. but at his last I was not there for him mentally...I was holding him down. At times I hate myself. it is 5 months. Dont figure this is ever going to change. I am so sorry for how you feel and the losses of so many on this group. This group has been a great comfort to me as you all understand...even if in our brains we know we did our best,our heart says different. Peace to all of us!
  5. Our four kids all live far away but so far (only five months) they have all been to visit since....two of them, a daughter and son, frequently call or text every day or two, the other two (sons) rarely...in fact the one only on Mother's Day. A year and a half ago I was carrying a microwave down to the basement, missed a step cuz I couldnt see them and fell most of the way down a flight of stairs. I broke my femur...had surgery with a rod and screws and took me a good nine months to get back to pretty close to normal. My hubby thruout all of this was wonderful and took such good care of me even though he had Parkinson's. In many ways we became even closer during this time. I miss him so. Anyway, the reason for this post, i have an Alert Necklace (You can get them alt Walmart and dont have to pay a monthly fee...my hubby was a pharmacist and knew wbout them...dont remember the name of the company). Now, for my other problem/paranoia is when I die and am not found for several days because my two kids who do call frequently have nOt, I know for a 100 percent fact if you die with pets and several days pass they will (how to delicately put this) make sure they are not going hungry! Need I say more without being too graphic. Before my hubby died we both knew we could not totally depend on anyone but ourselves so investigated what could we do that would at least guarantee a call once a day. We found I Am Fine ($120.00a year. It is a digital call service that calls you once a day at what ever time you decide, you push one that you are okay. If you miss the call, it recalls you three more times at ten minute intervals. Then if still no answer they call whoever you designate...I desigated a daughter and son would would most likely be reached. So far the service has been 100 percent. The ratings are excellent. And btw you can pause it if on vacation, etc. Also, btw, I have no financial interest in either company mentioned. Both have allowed me the independence I need at this time. Hope it may help some of us older spring chickens or those with disabilities who dont have really close family or friends checking on them daily.
  6. Imho there are no silly things we may do. I won't even state some of what I do or you really may all think I am losing it. Nevertheless, my hubbys death was pretty sudden and though we had been married 52 years it is never enough. Even though at our Age, we knew one of us would go before the other probably I still cannot really believe it. It is five months now and I do believe I feel worse, probably because the first couple of months I was literally numb. I did not cry externally for several months (would get the shakes instead) now doesnt take much to start me. I, too, miss him so much and can relate to each and every one of you in your grief. Hugs to each and all.
  7. Eagle 96. I. Too, agree with the others that this IS the group. I can so relate to what you feel. I still feel terrible and wonder will it ever end. My husband of 52 years, was my best friend. He was my everything. We didnt have many close friends because we had each other. Not much more I can say except I wish you as well as you can possibly be and send you many hugs.
  8. Does it never end? Everyday I see hundreds if not thousands of things "before"...the jar of jam we had bought but hadnt opened yet, the last time we used the weed sprayer, the last time I used the iron for his shirt. Yes, ONLY five months but it goes on and on. I really would like to sell everything and move to a new town ans start over without these reminders. There are plenty of reminders in my heart which are always there but I really would like to get away from all this. I know we are all different...some want to stay, others want to go.I will not do anything for at least anyear and see if my son retires so would move closer to him. Our daughter is in Canada so that is not an option. How does one get thru days where so much of what you see is another stab in my heart. Yeah,the jam this morning really got to me.
  9. For us 53 years. I hate to be morbid, and I am not suicidal But the one good thing about being married so long is I probably wont be around that long to suffer that much longer. Guess I could live to be 90 or 100 but when you hurt so bad that doesnt seem possible. So I take one day at a time and dont much worry about the future. It is what it is.
  10. Five months too. My life is existing not living...do what I need to do and little else . Really nothing brings me any kind of happiness right now. Again...just existing.
  11. Five months for me also. I feel much like you do. I cant comprehend how I can spent the rest of my life like this and yet I guess I/we have to. The thought of never really hearing his voice again, feeling his hugs, discussing life with him is unbearable. I so hope all of us somehow can find a way to deal with this. Hugs.
  12. Well 48 hours no call...but I called their Financial Investment Service and actually reached a person. He was very nice. While he was unable to help me he did give me another number which I called. The lady there really was kind of rude but I think, I hope I got the info I need and once again filled out the forms ( which previously had been told I didnt need) and mailed. Could have faxed but concerned with fax my drivers license would not be prestine enought for them. Supposedly 7-10 business days. We shall see. Of all the phone calls I have made there was only one pleasant person and he wasnt even trying to sell me annuities, etc. he helped by transferring where I could get help.
  13. Yes...Taking Chance...but then again there is "driving", lol
  14. More bitching. Why does everything seem sooooo hard. I have been trying since January to "fix" me as beneficiary to my husbands IRA at Citibank. I am listed as beneficiary. All okay right? Nope, not with Citibank and I dont live in a state with Citibank. Nothing I do is "right" with them and I have filled out reams of stuff with other banks, insurances, etc. they are giving me such a runaround. "Pox on them". Yeah, and today is a bad day for me, too! Last correspondence from them drivers license not clear enough. Clear enough for my 70 year old eyes...without glasses. So off to Staples to have it copied "professionally". Then I call and the young idiot says why dont I drop in and bring it...she has my address in front of her. I dont live in a state with a citibank. So then i request another phone numbers for more problems with them...she gives me the same number I get to get her...which I explained...oh, she is just customer service (or lack there of) and yet that is the number on the letter for estate retirement services...so what she can do is send an email to the person I got the letter from...response time 24 hours...you think? Will let you all know. No, I am not real hopeful.
  15. How dare the earth continue rotating, the trees and flowers blooming, how dare these things continue to happen. Don't they realize he or she is gone? Crazy, but I feel the same way.