I am the mom to 2 sweet little shih-tzu's. They are Sophie and Rocky. Sophie has been with me since she was a puppy. She turned 16 this past October. She has been with me through many changes in my life. She is the sweetest little pup you could ever meet. Rocky was a rescue. I inherited him about 9 years ago. He is not quite so sweet to other people, but he and I share a special bond. I believe he is about 15 years old.
Sophie has survived liver failure, and is now in heart failure. She is on a medication that has helped her survive about another year. I have cherished every moment. She now walks around like she has alzheimers. She walks in circles and bumps into walls. She has fallen down the stairs several times - this terrifies me! The vet feels she has probably lost her sense of sight, hearing, and now smell. When I pick her up she snuggles right into me. She knows me.
Rocky has a very fast growing fibriod cyst growing on his rear leg. It doesn't seem to bother him too much. The vet said that she would not be able to remove it as there would not be enough skin to cover the area. She told us that the cyst will eventually rupture and can be a very bloody mess. He is having difficulty chewing his food - I am sure he has some terrible teeth. His heart is weak as well - he occasionally has a seizure if he over-exerts himself - like running up the stairs. His breathing is becoming labored.
They both eat - but only if I add something yummy to their food - which I don't mind doing at all.
My wife and I are likely going to euthanize them. We are afraid Sophie is going to hurt herself falling down the stairs, or have a stroke or heart attack. We do not want Rocky to have to suffer if his cyst ruptures.
I think that we are going to do this with both of them together - at home. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. The anticipatory grief is so overwhelming - I can hardly function. I wake up at 2 am and cry - and then have a hard time falling back to sleep.
Please tell me this gets better - maybe after it is done? This is terrible. I feel like I would rather die than live through this.
