HaleyM

I cant say i feel better, but i had my peace with God and woke up forgiving myself. I know ill be okay one day. Ill never forget what happened. The evenrs of that day are forever in my mind. My Ghost is gone and i can't bring him back. Honestly reading these stories on this site has made me feel so much better. I am NOT ALONE in this and that makes me so sad for the babies who died but i know how i feel is not odd nor am i a monster. Ive come to grips with the fact it was a terrible accident. One easily avoidable but unforgetable never the less. I hope i have the strenght to share my story one day and save another life. Shame has set in and i will never fully forgive myself. It hurts so bad, but i must accept it. I pray God walks me through this. And i hope my story helps someone else like your stories have helped me. What a wonderful site this is - we are not alone. To my Ghost. You were the best friend i could ever ask for. We spent 3 great years together and i hope you enjoyed my company as much as i did yours. I wish i could have saved you. You are forever my baby. Until the next life, my sweet boy.

I am so full of sorry and guilt. I have yet to explain to my 4 year old why our baby isnt jumping in the bath with him anymore. He is a silly cat, my Ghost. Truly one of a kind. He loves baths. Every time he heard the water going he ran to the bathroom door. If he had the chance to run in he would take it. I had to barricade him out in fear his skin would dry out. He also loves to crawl in bed with me and kneed the blankets until he was comfortable then he would snuggle up and sleep. He wasnt fond of many people. I have the scars from first getting him to prove it. But once bis heart warmed up to you he was the best companion. He would walk right on over to our 120 lb dog and let him know he was the boss. A truly unique soul. I failed him. I think his best friend knows he is gone. Hes been meowing and screaming. I can only think searching for my Ghost. He will adapt. I only hope i will too. In a way im glad it was me. Had anyone else done so i would never forgive them. I come here begging for his forgiveness, as well as all of yours. He was an amazing buddy. I am so sorry.

Yesterday was a busy day for me. It was my day off and I had a whole house to clean. I have 3 children under the age of 5 and my brain is in shatters all the time. I was cleaning my bathroom and i needed to do the laundry in there. I opened up my dryer, threw the few items in there on top of it, and went to get the clothes from the bathroom. I put the dirty clothes on the floor and then threw the clothes from the washer into the dryer. I left the door open and went to grab a few more items i could fit and started the washer. Then i started the dryer. A few towels i threw on top were dangling down so i opened the dryer up again and fixed it then went about cleaning. 20 minutes later i started sweeping my living room (about 15 feet from my dryer) and i thought i heard a meow. I have 5 cats so i always think i hear meowing. I stopped for a second and listened. I didnt hear anything and started cleaning again. Then my mom went to pull towles out of the dryer to help and she started screaming for me. I rushed over and she couldnt speak but on the door of the dryer i saw blood. I checked all around and my 3 kids were fine and i could not figure out where the blood was coming from. Finally she said "cat" and i knew. I looked inside and found my Ghost who i rescued from the pound 3 years ago dead and wrapped in the laundry. I pulled him out and he was stiff and i lost it. After a while of me sobbing and saying im so sorry to my baby my husband came home and took him. I watched my mom take out the laundry and there was blood all over it. She tried to clean it but i cant use it. I cant get the site of my baby out of my mind. I didnt hear any thuds in the dryer and when i opened it he didnt crawl out. I saw him a few minutes before i threw the clothes in playing with my other cat near the dryer. I feel so guilty. I know it was an accident but i did this. I was so careless and scatter brained and i should have paid more attention. I killed my baby and i never even knew he was missing. I dont know what to do or where to go from here. How can i move on when i killed him? He was my baby. I thought i saved him from the pound but i just brought him here to be murdered. I saw a few other posts with similar stories. Please someone tell me where to go and what i can do. Im so lost. Im so so sorry Ghost. I never wanted to hurt you. You are the best cat i could ever ask for. I will miss you so, so much. Please forgive me.