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Mike's Girl

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About Mike's Girl

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    Advanced Member

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    March 3, 2017
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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  • Your gender
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  1. Thank you scba! That article is great. I'm adding it to her reading material.
  2. Thanks Gwen and Kay! I will listen to your advice and lay it out for her, tactfully. I appreciate your help, support, and understanding! Kay, that list is perfect! Thank you!
  3. No, but she did lose her parents tragically at a young age. She was only 22 when they both died in a boating accident. Let me clarify (I know some of you may remember me talking about my father passing not too long ago)....my parents have been divorced for over 20 years and my father passed away 3 years ago. So technically she's not a widow, but my father is gone. My mother is remarried.
  4. My mother is coming this week for a week long visit. She has alluded in many conversations that it's already been 5 months and I should just move on and get over it by now. "Yes, it's hard, but put on your "big girl panties" and don't wallow." I know that while she's here, she's going to do everything in her power for me to "not hurt anymore". I don't want to make her sound like a monster, but sometimes she pushes because she's uncomfortable with a situation and "rising above it" is her defense mechanism. I have a feeling that she's going to try to push me this week to be happy and just rise above it all. Be the old me she remembers of my youth. She really does mean well. I know she truly loves me./ She just really doesn't want me to hurt anymore. Well, believe me, I've put on my big girl panties. The veil has been lifted. Reality hit me in the face with a full donkey kick. I'm not that happy-go-lucky child she remembers from my youth. I will try to be happy and keep things light while she's here, but if I feel like breaking down and crying, she's gonna see the tears flowing! I love you, mom, but this is the new me. Get over it. (Thank you for letting me vent)
  5. Since He Died

    mbbh: This is beautifully written. It sums it all up. Yesterday was my 5 month mark of Michael being gone and these words rang out so true to me. Reality is hitting me hard and keeping my spirits up is getting harder and harder. With God's help, my strength is holding on to persevere. None of us want to be part of this group, but thank God it's here for us. Take care of yourselves. Peace...
  6. I too have a haunting memory that won't stop plaguing me. The hallway to our bedroom was too narrow and awkward for the EMTs to fit their stretcher, so they carried MIchael out of the bedroom from under his shoulders and legs. He just hung there, so limp and pitiful, as they carried him. He had a look on his face that I will never forget. Was it disappointment that I called the ambulance and didn't let him die at home? Was it pain from being manhandled by them as they carried him and dropped him on the stretcher? Was he mad at me? Was he glad I called for help when I did? The memory of him being so fragile and weak on that stretcher and the look of disappointment(?) on his face is burnt into my memory forever.
  7. Well put! My feelings, exactly...
  8. I know how you feel. I'm 4 months into this nightmare...
  9. Having A Hard Day Today

    Thank you Marty! You are such a blessing to us all!
  10. Having A Hard Day Today

    Please bare with me. I'm using this as a type of journaling. I'm having a really bad day today and just need to write it all down in hopes that it will help alleviate some of my pain. Too many triggers lately. My late father's birthday was June 22nd. 3 years ago today, my father passed away due to complications with COPD, so he's heavy on my mind lately. Also, I'm coming up to the 4 month mark of my husband Michael's passing away, in July 3rd. July 4th was one of my husbands favorite holidays, because he loved to fire off fireworks and blow things up. (Not in a dangerous way,) My heart is very heavy with missing both of them terribly. There are moments when I just break down replaying all the memories. This is my year of "firsts" without him. Pray for me.
  11. I know that hospitals love to have volunteers! That's something that you may be able to do.
  12. New here

    Dear MBBH, We all know where you are coming from. None of us want to be here, but we are all thankful that we found each other. I lost my husband on March 3rd of this year. It's been a scary learning experience, but I'm hanging in there, one day at a time. Some days, it's one minute at a time, but I get through them. This forum has helped me through some really trying times and issues. I've opened my heart to everyone here and bared my story and soul. Never have I been chastised or judged for my questions or responses. It's comforting to know that we have each other to lean on when needed. Welcome and feel free to share, cry, scream, feel...we're all going through it too and "get it".
  13. No, it's not easy. I'm finding it difficult to do a lot of the activities we used to do together. One thing really stands out to me, I find myself not able to listen to music much anymore. Our house was always filled with music. We shared the love of every kind of music and would enjoy working with bands. Now, there are too many memories attached to too many songs that are too painful to bring back at this time. They make me miss him more and remind me that my life had changed, until I see him again. I know someday I will be able to reflect and smile without tears, but right now, the water works come flooding in. so now, I find myself sitting in a silent house, just listening to the quiet (and the ringing in my ears from the many years of working with bands). Someday I'll get behind that microphone again...
  14. I'm right there with you.