MartyT

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About MartyT

  • Rank
    Grief Counselor
  • Birthday 02/10/1943

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    mother, daughter, friend
  • Date of Death
    5/26/67, 9/3078,10/06/93
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Contact Methods

  • AIM
    tousleym
  • Website URL
    http://www.griefhealing.com
  • Yahoo
    martytousley

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Sarasota, Florida

Recent Profile Visitors

5,242 profile views
  1. My friend, this is one of the most difficult and painful decisions you'll ever have to make, but I hope you will come to think of it as a selfless act of love. As Kay says, it's important to ask whose needs we are meeting in these circumstances: yours, or those of your cherished animal companions? Ask yourselves: Are you prolonging their lives ~ or prolonging their suffering and deaths? I invite you to read these articles (including those listed at their bases): Anticipating the Death of a Cherished Pet Pet Loss: Guilt In the Wake of the Euthanasia Decision Pet Loss: Is It A Different Kind of Grief?
  2. Oh my dear Anne! I am so disappointed to learn that you removed your beautiful, uplifting, encouraging and hopeful post! Please, if there is any way that you can post its content here again, find a way to do it! I saw nothing offensive or boastful in your message, and I think it's extremely important to let our members know the significant progress you have made! It gives all of us hope for the future!
  3. And let it be enough! Right, Kay?! ♥
  4. I am thinking of you, Mitch, and I wish for better days for you ~ or at least for some measure of pleasure when you find yourself having "a good day." ♥
  5. Well deserved, I might add
  6. I wonder if it would help for you to write a heartfelt letter to your mother, saying whatever you would say to her if you were to be with her in person. Then you might try setting a peaceful scene for yourself (quiet, low light, maybe some soft music playing in the background, candles lit, photograph(s) of your mother ~ you get the idea) ~ Then read your letter as if you were at your mother's bedside, speaking directly to her. Use your imagination to send your message to your mother, as you would a prayer . . . ♥
  7. Thinking of you, dear Patty ♥
  8. Yep. As they say in the airplane safety drill, put on your own oxygen mask first. ♥
  9. I'm so sorry you've lost your dear friend Vex, Marita. And yes, several of us have added our own family members to the video above. The second dog pictured is my precious Tibetan terrier Beringer. He crossed the Rainbow Bridge nearly six years ago, and thoughts of him still bring me to tears, too. I loved him with all my heart. (See Saying Goodbye to Beringer.) At one minute, seven seconds into the video, you'll see a photo of Benji, who belonged to our dear member Anne (enna). Our wonderful Kayc's Skye, Lucky and Miss Mocha are at 1:18. Our beloved Mary's Bentley is at 1:30. If you watch Don Lawson's video all the way through, you will learn how to submit your own photos for his project. ♥
  10. I'm so sorry, Kate, to learn of the many losses you've endured, and so close together. I don't know how old you are, but if you and your friends are under 30, you may be the only one in your circle who's experienced this level of grief firsthand, which only adds to your feeling of isolation. In time I hope you'll connect with others in our forums here, but in the meantime, I invite you to read this article (and note the others listed at the base as well), in hopes that it may help a bit: In Grief: Coping with Multiple Losses ♥
  11. I agree with Kay, and I think her advice is sound. You don't say what caused your ex's liver failure, but if his erratic behavior toward you had something to do with the abuse of drugs or alcohol, your leaving him was the only way to protect yourself and your children from his abuse. In any event, it's really never too late to finish unfinished business, my dear ~ you just need to find a way to "speak" to your ex's spirit and say whatever you need to say to him. That can be by constructing a private ritual of some sort, or by writing him a letter. You are limited only by your imagination. You might find these articles helpful: Disenfranchised Grief: Mourning The Loss of A Dream Goodbye to Goodbye The Myth of Closure
  12. Maria, my dear, I know this is painful for you, and I'm so sorry about that. I agree with Kay: Be respectful but honest with your dad about your feelings. If you decide to attend the wedding, be as discreet about it as you feel comfortable, let your presence be enough, and let the day be about your dad. (Also, bear in mind that the rather large wedding your dad is planning sounds to be a very public affair, and your absence can say much more to your father and his guests than your presence would ~ and could be felt by your dad as very hurtful and embarrassing. (Despite any efforts to dissuade her, our eldest son's bride absolutely refused to include her father in their wedding, and her dad and her paternal grandparents have never forgiven her for what they considered to be a public insult.) I don't know if you've already read this article, but you may find it helpful: Remarriage in Widowhood: How Soon Is Too Soon?
  13. My dear, I think that with this statement you may have answered your own question. As Kay said, you know yourself better than anyone else does, and you are the only one who can decide what to do in this situation, since you are the one who must live with the consequences. The concept that Miss Ngu mentioned is addressed in this article, if you are interested: Mother Loss and The Grief of Abandonment
  14. Laura, my dear, it seems to me that you have something that is far more valuable than whatever "stuff" your sisters may want, and that is your close relationship with your father, the love the two of you shared, and the ten years' worth of precious memories you made with each other. ♥
  15. My dear, I'm so sorry to learn of this tragic accident that led to the traumatic loss of your beloved Snowball. Unfortunately, this sort of accident is all too common, and I want you to know that you are not alone. In this article, I've assembled several stories similar to yours, along with some suggested resources that I hope will be helpful to you: Pet Loss: Curious Cats Get Killed in Clothes Dryers ♥