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MartyT

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About MartyT

  • Rank
    Grief Counselor
  • Birthday 02/10/1943

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    mother, daughter, friend
  • Date of Death
    5/26/67, 9/3078,10/06/93
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Contact Methods

  • AIM
    tousleym
  • Website URL
    http://www.griefhealing.com
  • Yahoo
    martytousley

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Sarasota, Florida

Recent Profile Visitors

6,356 profile views
  1. Thank you, Maryann, for sharing your heartwarming news. Clearly your Mark is looking out for you! We wish you continued happiness, and look forward to hearing more ♥
  2. If you're not already registered for End-of-Life University, you can sign up here. It's FREE and you will receive notification each time a new interview is scheduled. Register now! During "An Evening with Ira Byock MD" we will be celebrating the 20th Anniversary of his book Dying Well: The Prospect for Growth at the End of Life. Dr. Byock is a pioneer of palliative care and hospice medicine who has dedicated his entire career to improving care for the dying. He'll share his insights with us on the progress we've made over the past 20 years and what we still need to accomplish to ensure that every patient has the opportunity to die well. You'll have the opportunity to chat with him, ask questions, and also express your thanks for his wonderful work and inspirational books. Learn more about Dr. Byock's work here. Here's how to attend: Date: Monday, August 21, 2017 Time: 6 pm Pacific/9 pm EasternDial in #: (425) 440-5010 PIN code: 882570# Listen to the BROADCAST online by clicking on this link for the Event Page: https://iTeleseminar.com/100035084 This will be a LIVE presentation and you will be able to speak with Dr. Byock by telephone or submit your questions in writing using the Q&A form on the Event Page. Don't worry if you can't attend LIVE, you will receive access to the REPLAY as soon as the event ends. You can also submit your written questions for Dr. Byock in advance by going to the Event Page Q & A Form: https://iTeleseminar.com/100035084 Also if you haven't had a chance to download the Dying Well Readers Discussion Guide you can get it right here: Readers Discussion Guide This would be an excellent guide for a book club, workshop or community discussion group around end-of-life issues. Finally, I'll send the call in information again on the day of the event! Looking forward to our conversation with Dr. Ira Byock and your great questions! Love, Karen Wyatt MD www.eoluniversity.com
  3. Ms

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you, my dear, and it's certainly understandable that you're feeling as you are. Although this man's wife died some time ago, the scattering of her ashes could have been a major "trigger" ~ something that forced him to confront the reality of her death in a new and different way, which can feel to him as if he is starting the grief process all over again. This does not mean that he's lost ground and made no forward progress in his grief ~ It's just another step in the normal grief process, and it all depends on how he chooses to react to it. You might find these articles helpful: On Dating A Widower and On Dating A Widower: Is This Unresolved Grief? ~ and for you I'd especially recommend Julie Anderson's book, Past Perfect! Present Tense: Insights from One Woman’s Journey As the Wife of a Widower
  4. Healing

    I know it's not the same, but we certainly do care, dear Kay. I simply cannot imagine what this place would be without you. ♥
  5. Healing

    When I was deciding many years ago what name to give my collection of Grief Healing websites, I struggled with whether to use “healing” in my title, because I knew that the notion of healing from grief can seem offensive to some. After all, those of us who are anticipating or coping with the loss of a loved one know full well that grief is not an illness to be cured or a physical injury from which we will recover. Read more here: Grief Healing: Where Did You Get That Name? ♥
  6. Articles Worth Reading

    I like what our friend Megan Devine had to say about this yesterday: The Hierarchy of Grief: Some People are at the Periphery
  7. Older Cat Dies Following Rabies Vaccination

    Here's another example of veterinarians doing it right: Fear Free Approach is Thriving ~ and be sure to read this comment by Dr. Marty Greer: Comment ♥
  8. The Car

    Good heavens, Maryann! How terribly frightening it is to see your car smashed to bits like this! And I know this was the car that you and Mark bought together. Yet another loss . . . It's a miracle that you were not injured more seriously than you were. I can only imagine how you must have felt and what went through your mind when you saw your car and took this photo of the damage. Yikes. Yikes to the tenth power. You had a special angel named Mark looking out for you. I am so grateful that you're all right ~ but emotionally traumatized for sure. ♥
  9. Older Cat Dies Following Rabies Vaccination

    Here is another article on this matter, written by another veterinarian whom I deeply admire and respect, Dr. Nancy Kay, author of Speaking for Spot: Veterinarians and Vaccines: A Slow Learning Curve Find more about Dr. Kay here: Speaking for Spot
  10. Older Cat Dies Following Rabies Vaccination

    Monica, my dear, I wish I could persuade you to take all that anger and guilt you're directing at yourself and place it somewhere else where it really could do some good. For example, animal lovers need to be better educated about this issue of over-vaccinating our pets. What could you do to help make that happen? Even by sharing your story here with us, you are actively engaged in informing and educating the public. I wonder what would happen if you could find a way to help spread the word to a larger audience? Wouldn't that be a marvelous way to honor your Baby Pearl's memory ~ and to make your tragic experience count for something more? Something to think about . . . ♥
  11. Lossing my big brother to suicide

    I am so very sorry for the challenges these traumatic deaths have placed in your path, but I hope it helps to know that we are here for you, and as a survivor of suicide loss, you have lots of additional support available to you. The empty spaces that once were occupied by the physical presence of your brother and your favorite aunt will never go away, my dear ~ but the love you have for them will live forever in your heart, just as long as you keep your memories of them alive. Death ends a life, but it does not end the relationship we have with our loved ones. You've asked what steps to take as you go forward, and this article (along with the links listed at the base) is a good place for you to begin: Grief Support for Survivors of Suicide Loss ♥
  12. Need some advice

    My heart goes out to you and your family, Jayde. There is little I can add to what Kay has already shared with you ~ except to say how sorry I am to learn of the tragic death of your brother two years ago. You might appreciate these articles as well ~ including the additional ones listed at the base of each: Traumatic Loss: Surviving A Sibling's Fatal Accident Tips for Coping with Anniversary Reactions in Grief
  13. Articles Worth Reading

    You'll find quite a bit written on the topic of grief and resilience, Ana. Here is just a sampling: Brokenness, Sorrow, and Resilience in Loss - Thomas Attig Full transcript: Sheryl Sandberg talks grief, resilience and 'Option B' Is There a Connection Between Grief and Resilience? Psychology Article: Grief: The Journey From Suffering to Resilience How to Build Resilience in Grief - Fulfillment Daily Resilient Grieving: Finding Strength and Embracing Life After a Loss That Changes Everything - Book by Lucy Hone The Other Side of Sadness: What The New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss - Book by George A. Bonanno
  14. Animal Hospice Care & Support Helpline

    Thank you, Maylissa, for sharing. Ella Bittel is one of those very special veterinarians whose compassion for animals (and for those of us who love them) is second to none. ♥ Ella Bittel, Holistic Veterinarian
  15. I think what matters here is that you trust your own experience and recognize the reality of what you're feeling. You ask if some people revert to old behavior in times of crisis, and of course the answer is yes ~ but that applies to you as well as to your mother. Clearly your relationship with your family of origin is a troubled one, and has been that way for a very long time. It is not surprising, then, that the illness and tragic death of your child did nothing to improve that relationship, and most likely made it worse. You say you've articulated much of your feelings about your mother during "required" family therapy sessions ~ but you might consider finding a qualified grief counselor or therapist of your own, whose focus would be on you and your needs, and with whom you can work alone. I also strongly encourage you to find a local chapter of The Compassionate Friends. As bereaved parents, you and your husband deserve the kind of support that organization can offer. See Chapter Meeting Locator. And while it is true that your child's diagnosis, treatment and death affected every person in your life, the fact remains that each of you is mourning a different loss. You are the mother of this child, and the relationship between the two of you is precious and unique, unlike any other. The grief you feel at the loss of your child is unique to you alone, and you've every right to mourn in ways that belong to you alone ~ which you must discover for yourself.
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