• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won



About kayc

  • Rank
  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Contact Methods

  • ICQ

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

Recent Profile Visitors

6,825 profile views
  1. I am VERY sorry you removed your post. As Marita said, it was very inspirational and I saw nothing that would hurt anyone newer in their journey. I don't know what about our responses caused you to think so, but that sure wasn't our thinking or intent. I know it's hard to re-create what you wrote, but if there's any way you can do so, I hope you will. My response was that even though I don't have a home I can entertain in, I do find other ways of getting together with people, it doesn't always have to be at one's home, if others, like me, find themselves in that position. Often you can rent a church's room if you don't belong to a club, or another facility and sometimes is cheap to do so. Our local park rents their facility for $25/hour and that includes tables, chairs, kitchen facilities.
  2. I think it's helped me to understand that he ISN'T "gone", he's in another place and we'll be together again. I honestly don't know how people handle it when they think you just end and that's it. This is the only thing I've found on the subject: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ali-a-rizvi/atheists-death_b_4134439.html Still not sure I get it.
  3. Maryann, I am sorry that you and your workplace went through this. I'm glad there was no bomb and you were safe. It's interesting how we who look forward with hope of being joined with our spouses are not afraid of dying ourselves. I'm not sure that I thought about it much beforehand, but I definitely view it as a path to him and not something to fear.
  4. I've been there too many times, it's very hard to go through. Try not to think about what might happen, try to stay in today and enjoy each moment you have with them now. My dog is nine and that's the life span for his breed. So far he's doing well except he has a lot of cysts. he has one on his back paw that also can't be removed because of not enough skin. It's only bled once and I took him to the vet and she didn't seem to think it'd be a problem except messy, which I don't mind cleaning up. Could you put up a child-proof gate across the stairs so she can't get up and down them without you carrying her? My heart goes out to you. I had to put my dog Lucky down several years ago and it was a very tough decision. The criteria I used to decide when it was time was when her quality of life diminished so much. She had arthritis, was going deaf, was incontinent the last two years. She was Dalmation/Whippet and Dalmations "smile", showing their teeth, it's really cute...the last two years she no longer smiled. When she started whimpering during the night, I decided it was time. I didn't want to keep her alive just for me if it meant her suffering. Afterwards I wondered if I should have let her live a little longer, but it really doesn't pay to second guess yourself. Make the decision you feel is best for them, you'll know when it's time, and don't look back. Remember all of the wonderful times. I know it's painful, very very hard at first, but eventually it sinks in and we begin to adjust. That doesn't mean you'll ever stop missing them, we don't, but we do learn to live with it without so much pain eventually.
  5. Kevin, He looks like a little doll! My grandson is going to be born March 10, I hope there's no snow then, I want to meet him!
  6. I don't believe it could be any other way. (((hugs)))
  7. Patty, not sure if you'll drop in today, but know we're all thinking of you...
  8. I was married to a Narcissist once, I highly recommend this book, "Malignant Self Love Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin, PHD. Excellent book, helps you understand Narcissism better, enough to know you don't want one for a spouse or parent. I was able to download mine as an e-book.
  9. Gin, my heart goes out to you. I was married to a 1) wife-beater/cheater. He got three women pregnant while married to me, 1 had his child, the other had an abortion, and me? He beat mine out of me. 2) my kids's dad 23 years, no love lost on me, controlling and lied to me throughout our marriage, the great pretender, a hypocrite. With all that said, I still care about him, I understand him, I just found it hard to live with. 3) George...the only one who loved me and got me...we could always relate to each other, my true soulmate. 4) the con artist that took me for over $50,000 (ran up my credit) and lived with two different women while married to me...but never lived with me. Which one do you think I'm keeping to go through eternity with?! George! I think I'll know and get along with my kids' dad, he'll have to quit pretending by then. The other two I don't think will be there. I could be surprised, but it's a big place, they can stay on the other side if by chance they make it. Don't wish them ill, just don't wish to see them.
  10. Skye, Lucky, and Miss Mocha are right after Taz and Jet-jet, at 118.
  11. I bet you were tired! I have to shovel a 40' ramp, another 20' path to the driveway, the driveway (which is long), and path to the firewood, it's a lot.
  12. Do like I do then, try not to think about it. I do what I can.
  13. Maryann, I trust you to find your way, whether it be through more grief counseling or some other way. You've shown me to be a person that is introspective and capable, I wish you well on this continuing journey. I'm sorry for your friend leaving, I know all too well that adjustment.
  14. My place isn't in shape for entertaining...the house needs painted, the back of the garage needs replaced, the patio roof needs re-replaced, the shed needs torn down, I need new carpet throughout. BUT I connect with others through my church and senior site. I belong to a "coloring" group which is just a bunch of ladies coloring or knitting and talking and we potluck. Meeting with my grief support group also provides contact. I find these times with others are so important to me...without which I would have more solitude than is healthy.
  15. Marg, I remember working in the doctor's office when they did endoscopes and I hated that sound! I was told it wasn't bad, but it didn't sound like anything I wanted done. Snogging doesn't sound much better.