kayc

Contributor
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About kayc

  • Rank
    KayC
  • Birthday October 7

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    spouse
  • Date of Death
    June 19, 2005
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Eugene OR

Contact Methods

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    0

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Oakridge Oregon
  • Interests
    I enjoy volunteering in my church (Treasurer & on Praise Team, choir) and the senior site, where I do the bingo prizes. I love stamping, hiking, nature, singing. I am a retired Office Mgr./Bkpr.

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. We have noticed your absence. I think the last time you posted you were having a struggle and I was worried about you, so I'm glad you came back on to let us know you're okay. Good luck with you!
  2. Darrel, I didn't perceive your post as a downer at all. I enjoy hearing about your Cookie and how it was with you two. Those are the feelings that bring us here, that separate us (those who struggle with our loss) from those who move on quite nicely. We had something to lose, and we lost it. It affects us, plain and simple. Even as many years as have gone by for me, a lot of times it's still a struggle...
  3. Marg, When I read this, logic tells me that it was your daughter who thought she told you but didn't..me think the drugs affected her. You're not losing it. You are a sweetheart to take care of your granddaughter. It seems she's being a casualty of our system. That she can't get covered because your daughter draws $ for her but isn't taking care of her, you are, that's not right. You should be getting the $ for her, not your daughter, and then if you choose to share it with your daughter, that's your business, but your granddaughter should be able to be covered on your insurance, she shouldn't have to have her schooling interrupted because of a medical need that can't be immediately addressed. I'm so sorry for her and for you who cares for her!
  4. You have learned a lot about yourself through this process. I am glad you are giving yourself the self care you need and focusing on YOU. That is what I have learned is so important!
  5. Carol Ann, I'm glad the surgery is behind you and it went well, AND you get to have a hearing assist dog! My dog isn't a service dog but he is my life and I can't imagine not having him in it! I hope the one you get will be perfect for you! I felt the same about my eye surgery, while it wasn't comfortable, it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined and best of all, I can still see! I have a sister that was butchered by an eye doctor, she can only see five hours a day with the aid of some sclera lenses (you can only leave them in five hours). This happened when she was still young so it has altered her life. She was awarded nothing in her class action suit against him.
  6. Looks like I did it again...lost my post I replied to Marg. Marg, I can't understand for the life of me why your friend would cease contact because this group was not a good fit for you. I'm glad you are strong enough to know what is right for you and do it, even without support. Nope, don't get "friends" like that!
  7. I am sorry for your loss, and to go through that with children still at home, that is hard. We were newly empty nesters so I can't speak to this...my son was in the Air Force and my daughter had just come home for a visit. I'm glad you have your son in grief counseling. Even adults have a hard time re-engaging in life, some go back to work right away, some can't seem to make it out of the covers. We all handle grief differently. I wouldn't be hasty to assume anything at this point. Yay, I see Marty has just responded!
  8. Is he hitting on you and that's his opening line? Very out of place! I'm sorry, it's not funny, not in the least. He must be a moron, no offense, Al.
  9. Again, Gwen, you've said something profound here. "if it wasn't for the word 'normal' to describe everything I have, do and will feel, I would have checked out of life a long time ago. It's my tether to validate bearing the unbearable day after day, week after week, month after month. Sometimes it is hard to hear because it is so alien to anything else I've ever experienced." Given our new set of circumstances, this is now our "new normal". Is it any wonder that everything should feel different to us! Everything important in our world has changed!
  10. Oh Cookie, your Ranger is beautiful! I love standard poodles! Such smart beautiful creatures. I'm sure your Ranger is enjoying a ride!
  11. Marty, in your first link is a poem...I thought about my daughter and how she must be feeling, very touching.
  12. me-alone, You joined here all those years ago but didn't post? I'm sorry, I wish you'd reached out all those years ago, I can't imagine not having this place to go through it with, I've been here nearly 12 years. I am so sorry for your loss, it is something people can't begin to understand unless they've been through it too. I think when people say it gets better they're remembering the horrid shock of the day we lost them...nothing seems as horrific as that...and considering the adjusting we've done. In time we don't cry as much, we're not as shocked about it, there is instead a day in and day out missing them and learning to live alone and make all of the decisions. Getting used to holidays alone, no one to talk over your day with, no one to make sure you got home safely, no one whose eyes light up at the dinner you made, no one to cuddle with, etc. That part goes on and on the rest of our lives. But no way do I think today is as bad as that first year, there aren't even words for that. I guess it's all in how you look at it. But then I have done a lot of grief work and that is totally essential for processing my grief and for my own personal adjustment. I saw a grief counselor, I've read books, articles, read and posted here on a daily basis, done art therapy, wrote letters to George, talk to him, have done things to memorialize him, and started a grief support group. I have been an active participant in my healing process. 40 years is a long time. I wish I'd had even half that long, but whatever time we get is never long enough when we have a wonderful relationship with the love of our life, our soul mate. I felt gypped that I didn't get longer, but now instead of resenting the time I didn't get, I cherish what we did get to share and it sustains me for the rest of my life. No one could top George in my heart and mind, not even come close. I haven't tried a dating site for many reasons, first because I seriously doubt I'd find someone I click with like I did my George, I don't particularly like dating, and I'm not convinced they're that safe...they're for someone else, not me.
  13. Dave, Your post was very poignant. Numb and Lost also has the opposite problem of some of us, she has nothing of his to hold onto, and that's tough. Finch also has had to go through that. But no one can take our memories or the love we shared.
  14. Gin, this is one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" things. He'd probably be pleased with your giving his things to his friends, they'd go to good use instead of sitting around collecting dust, and it'd give them something to remember him with. But no matter what we do with their things, it's hard. All we can do is our best. No hurry.
  15. Maynard, No need to delete or sugar coat what we write here unless it's offensive to someone else, we all have our hard days...I can't even remember what you wrote, but then I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. You're fine here, it's a good place to vent!