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About Maylissa

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    02/02/2000; 08/23/06; 01/02/04; 09/18/07; 02/29/04
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  1. Nearing 7 months withou fuzzy

    I'm so sorry, Kay, for your fresh-er loss and grief of only a year so far. I remember (as much as I'll let myself) how awful those early times in grief are. And I hope to never have to feel the intense, soul-crushing agony that my fur-children's deaths were for me, ever again. Throughout my whole life, I've actually always been shocked and dismayed when others are surprised, or suddenly discover through loss, that all cats (doesn't seem to be applied to dogs, for some odd reason) aren't cookie-cutter replicas of each other. "Of course they're not, since everyone is a unique individual! How could they not be?" I've found myself saying time after time. I have a theory as to why so many people think this way, at least about cats, but that's another discussion... That's so sweet a description of your Miss Mocha, though..."a flirt with men, very, very feminine." I can relate, as Nissa, too, had a "very sweet, soft energy" (as one ACer I'd used validated in those words) as well, that was palpable in her life. But she was only a "flirt" with her Mommy! Only one lone time did she ever kiss her Daddy -- only ONE little kiss, when she was a bit groggy from napping in his lap. Then she opened her eyes, looked up at his face, and stopped mid-smooch, as if realizing her mistake! How could I NOT have felt like The Most Special Person In The Universe! in the face of that?! And so it remained, for all of her nearly 20 years with me. Just as heart-melting, the very FIRST time she ever started kissing me on the mouth, was after her spaying operation, when she'd woken up in her carrier and suddenly peed all over her fur, and I had to gently clean her off as best I could. I was SO blown away with awe and adoration for my little girl's amazing and wholly unexpected display of gratitude and love, and those feelings became part-and-parcel of all our then-daily "love-making" sessions from then on. Oh my....how incredibly blessed I was...and I know she felt the same. I also had 2 budgies (at separate times) when I was young who each would share 'kisses' with me with using their beaks...the girl even going into a transfixed TRANCE as I kissed her, stretching her body into an arc, straining her head to meet my lips, with her eyes going "mental," getting those grey/white rings around them as budgies get when blissed-out or excited. Again, oh my....sheer delight for both of us. I have one, lone picture of this precious ritual of ours, when I was about 4 or 5 yrs. old, and I treasure it as the very personal and powerful introduction to my lifelong adoration of non-human beings and their capacity to both give and receive such amazing love. And so, lattiee, and Kay, and anyone else so fortunate to have had furred, feathered, or whatever kinds of loved ones who expressed themselves and shared their love for us via lip kisses (which isn't all that common, I've found, for certain species who live with us humans), although it hurts us so greatly to lose those sacred physical demonstrations of deep connection -- even though we're not really supposed to use this phrase during grief -- I still think that "at least" we did get to experience that kind of very close bond with another species, to always be treasured in our hearts and minds. And as the old song says, "no, they can't take that away from me..."
  2. Nearing 7 months withou fuzzy

    It's been nearly 11 years since I lost my beloved Nissa-girl (grey cat in my avatar) and the daily sharing of our "million kisses," which was honestly more like "necking," it was so intense, and so rich with overflowing LOVE. And I STILL miss it in some way, every day...just not as acutely and heart-wrenchingly, and even physically painfully as in the first few years after her transition. NO ONE has ever kissed me like my girl did, and I suspect no one ever will. Her kisses came from her FULL HEART & SOUL, no matter how light, or how passionate. And being an utlra-sensitive person, I was able to receive their full measure.....sheer heavenly bliss. What I also miss now is the sensory remembrance of how glorious her kisses felt on my lips. It's another sad layer to add to my mourning.
  3. Mother's Day

    Oh, Mary, I'm in turn touched by the fact that you read my post "several times"! You're so right -- only 3 years at most for your precious furbabies' passings, is too soon, imo, to expect to not feel overwhelmed with the grief. It took me MANY years to be able to set the sorrow aside for even a few moments here and there on Mother's Day, even if we were doing something I'd wanted to do....mainly as a distraction of sorts. And I remember your enchanting story about the violets and Lucy, and Allie! (just re-found and re-read that whole thread again now) It was all so BEAUTIFUL!!! And to know those violets have spread "all over" your yard now!.....surely a testament to how love even GROWS STRONGER AND LARGER after our furkids have gone! After my Sabin's transition, I had made up a personal obituary which I framed, to honour him. I included the famous poem from which I would often verbally express snippets to him throughout our days as mother & fur-son. And so heart-breakingly, after his passing, I came to know just how very true and powerful the last line is, as the longing, yearning, and feelings of love directly and equally mirror the sorrow of our loss. I'm just betting you will likely agree... How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43) Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 - 1861 How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day’s Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. This poem never fails to give rise to tears for me, no matter how long it's been... So far, this Mother's Day morning has been a bit magical, and certainly far better than the one I experienced 2 years ago, thank goodness! I received 3 cards on behalf of my furkids (one generic "playtime" card, and one from each of Nissa and Sabin). My H's slowly learning to NOT forget Mother's Day! These were followed soon thereafter by a quick visit to our yard by a new-to-the-neighbourhood tabby cat who sometimes swings by. Knowing my furkids, who NEVER forget me on Mom's Day, they sent him round, so I'd at least have a lovely cattie to see, even briefly, to help me feel a bit more "normal." Later on, we may take a walk or bike ride in nature, which usually calms my soul and heart a bit. And perhaps I'll receive even more signs at that time, since my kids often use other critters to send ADCs my way. But as always, I'll just honour and allow the feelings to flow, in and out, up and down, as they arise. It's important to not be terrified of the natural and understandable pain surfacing as it may need to, in order for it to not become trapped in our bodies, minds, and energy fields. Whatever you decide to do or avoid, remember, that's your prerogative and right. I wish for whatever your spirit needs to make your way through this tough day. But I'm also asking the angels and nature devas to help facilitate signs of continuing love for you from your furchildren, too, so you can re-experience the feelings of that sacred bond you will always have with each other. Perhaps you could also try a peaceful little communion with those lovely violets, asking them if they have any messages for you.... In heartfelt empathy on this Mother's Day, Maylissa, Nissa, and Sabin
  4. Mother's Day

    I loved this. There's a post on another grief site about Mother's Day, from the perspectives of a collective of mothers who have lost human children. But what I had always found was that it was the writings about human child loss that spoke to me the very MOST, in many deeply poignant and emotional ways. So this is how I feel about my motherhood, Mother's Day, and the loss of my FURchildren...and a few select others I've since lost as well, after all these years of caring for and coming to love other people's cats too, albeit not as strongly as my own. Just substitute "cat," "cats," or "furchild/furchildren" where appropriate, and take out certain "milestones" mentioned, and these echo my sentiments as well: A Mother's Chorus, on the "What's Your Grief" site My favourite parts of this post are: "This day will forever be hard for me. I live with an emptiness that no one can fill; so I may be sad, I may be unsociable, and I may need to take a break to be by myself in a quiet place. Whatever shape my grief takes on this day, please allow me to feel the way I feel and please follow my lead. Beyond that, acknowledge me as a mother. It makes me feel forgotten and as though my child [furchild/children] has been forgotten when people act as though my child [furchild/children]] never existed. Also, I can sense that people feel uncomfortable talking about my child [cat/cats/furchildren] and I constantly feel like the elephant in the room, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Honestly, I find it really comforting when someone talks about my child [cat/cats/furchildren]. I love hearing their name spoken out loud! I love hearing stories about them. Maybe you know a story I’ve never heard, or maybe I’ve heard it a hundred times before, but it really doesn’t matter to me. Your acknowledgment alone is one of the greatest Mother’s Day gifts you could give me." "...Believe you will be okay and have hope that in the future you will find yourself in a place where you can grieve and celebrate on Mother’s Day all at the same time." That is exactly what I do - grieve and celebrate (as in for example, making a formal toast to my furkids) - even now, almost 11 years, and 17+ years, respectively, after my furchildren's transitions. I remain fiercely and unabashedly PROUD of having been a mother to my beloved furchildren. And to anyone who might dare try to disenfranchise my grief and losses, I say, "bring it ON!" I will defend our love for each other no matter what anyone else wants to think. My heart and soul KNOW it's all true, and highly sacred, and that's what matters the most.
  5. Guilt and Grief

    I'm so sorry about your dear Frankie's death. Try to remember, losing someone can only be easy if there were no bonds of love. But just to touch upon some of the points you spoke of (above): - With all those meds, and some in particular, it's not surprising to me that she was "struggling," as you said, or starting to react on her skin as well. I'd say that's pretty common, just as it is for humans on such prescriptions all at the same time. I've suffered several of these symptoms myself, without (chronically, so as part of some condition), or directly because of the proscribed use of some such meds. - I'll avoid those platitudes you mentioned, mainly because I don't think they're ultimately very helpful, and because I never use them myself, because how could I really know those things for certain anyway? (not without communing with an individual animal firsthand, and experiencing a claircognizance [clear knowing] directly) - As to the guilty feelings you're concerned with, I might offer that your "trouble accepting" is, and will of necessity be, part of your grief process, and likely cannot be avoided so easily, nor neatly compartmentalized away from the big picture that comprises grief. We all prefer to rid ourselves of so-called "negative" feelings such as guilt, as fast as possible. Yet I've learned (the hard way) that guilty feelings are often produced for various reasons, and so, are what we often need explore. Who's to say other feelings of bereavement are really "more crucial," when (imo) they all play a necessary part in working through everything? For myself and my life to date, guilt has been one of the strongest teachers and growth-honing (albeit terrible-feeling) impetuses. I've also seen the extremely damaging opposite -- where someone either refuses, or is incapable of feeling any guilt...not a pretty or healthy picture. I think, much like anger having been made into a "dirty word" in our culture, in truth, we would not experience these kinds of feelings without there being some positive USE for them to even exist. For instance, without any feelings of guilt, how healthy could our consciences ever be? Or how could we experience remorse, from which we (hopefully) improve ourselves? So I believe a balance can and need be struck between the terms "inappropriate" (not useful) and "appropriate" (useful) guilt, terms which I believe I first learned of on the GH site. But only the individual can explore and discover which is which within themselves. I hope that helps, and once more, my condolences on your loss.
  6. I had my beautiful border collie put to sleep

    My apologies, Chrissy, as I never got back here to add that at least one Communicator I can recommend is Teresa Wagner at: https://www.animalsinourhearts.com/animal-communication.html There are others, too, who have proven their skills, but Teresa's heart is also superlative when it comes to imparting the messages and "feel" of a telepathic connection with your loved ones. I don't think you could go wrong by her services, and certainly your heart couldn't be in better hands. Some can be technically excellent in their communications, yet don't even sound empathetic, which is essential at such times. As for counselling, I'd suggest that first and foremost, ask directly of anyone you're considering, what their views are on animals as a whole, to ensure your own perspective on your relationship with Poppy isn't disrespected or minimized, or even pathologized as "sick" in some way(!), before you book with anyone. Many therapists out there can do more damage if they aren't well enough aligned with or trained specifically to deal with "animal loss" and bereavement.
  7. A Song for Chinook the Ferret

    Dearest Tim, Well, you had me weeping this morning, intently watching your latest tribute to your beloved "Nookie" (that's so cute!). I admire and appreciate both your skills & talents for such things, and especially your ongoing dedication to your love for Chinook, no matter WHAT anybody else says, or HOW they may label it. You and Chinook were fortunate to have each other on this plane, and if he "fill(ed) a gap" in your life/spirit/psyche, SO BE IT. Imo, that's no different than what any of us psychologically do during the course of our lifetimes, with whomever. What's more important (to me, at least) is that your heart had & has the capacity to open so widely to your fur-boy, and you did not fight that natural impulse to love someone as deeply and fully as you did. You allowed it all in, and that speaks volumes about you. The fact that your Nookie was not human only speaks loudly to me about how more evolved your own soul must be, to not put arbitrary limits on Love. As was so eloquently articulated by Anatole France... "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." "I still will not turn off my torch for my Chinook, they can't make me for I will never betray his memory." I'm right there with you, Tim. These amazingly beautiful nonhuman souls DESERVE to be celebrated, and let no man put that asunder! Thank you for sharing your life with Chinook with us, again. In Kinship, Maylissa, Sabin, and Nissa
  8. I had my beautiful border collie put to sleep

    Dear Chrissy, I too, am so very sorry for the loss of your fur-girl, Poppy. It is obvious you were very devoted to her and doing everything you knew to not only keep battling for her life through the years, but to make that merciful decision in her best interests when it appeared it was “time.” Regarding her final moments, I can’t help but agree with what Marty conveyed to you about organ shut-down. I’ve suffered some painful experience regarding that, with the euthanization of my own fur-daughter, who was quite “far-gone” at the end with failing kidneys (at the least). So in light of how at least some of Poppy’s ailments involved her liver and kidneys, both major “filtering” organs, it wouldn’t be surprising if that was indeed a factor in what happened, in which case you simply didn’t know, and weren’t informed about such possibilities. I know how ‘impossible’ and painful it is to have to relive such final, tortuous visions in your memory, with the guilt and doubts eating you up alive, and even to feel that “knife” in your heart. You may be as sensitive a person as I am, where that heart-pain felt during grief and mourning is not simply a metaphorical expression, but is actually physically experienced. (my heart felt like it was simultaneously being both stabbed and crushed) I won’t try to talk you out of not forgiving yourself though, as that is such a personal journey we each take, and it may take quite awhile to achieve, if ever. Self-forgiveness can be one of the toughest battles of grief and loss, and there are certain things I still don’t wholly forgive myself for about each of my furchildren’s passings. But the fact that we feel that deeply guilty in the first place does speak well to our authenticity, humility and good character, regardless of whether or not we can feel charitable enough to forgive ourselves for what we perceive as our failings. That said, I too would encourage you to have a chat with your vet about what happened and see if that can spread some light on what happened. There's no sense suffering for things that you didn't know about, or that were beyond your control, when there's enough to suffer with besides. I also highly relate to the pain of living with all the home-cooked food and countless other things left in an “empty home” after such massive loss. It took me literally years to finally just move some of my kidlets’ things around (not until I was forced to), much less put most away in storage…but I’ve never gotten rid of any of their things, from supplements, to meds, to healthcare implements, to toys, beds, etc. It also took me years to not cry as much, and in the beginning, for each of them, it was all I did. And as I often do, if you’re ever open to it, and ready, I suggest talking to your dear Poppy as you grieve &/or writing her a letter, to express anything and everything you wish you could have told her at the time. It is my belief, and my experience, that our beloved animals are not really gone (only from the physical) and do hear and understand our words and our hearts. And if that’s not enough to help you along the way, you may want to also consider utilizing a professional Animal Communicator at some point, as a go-between to have those conversations you yearn for. Again, my deepest condolences go out to you.
  9. Waves of Grief & Loss

    Yah, siiiighhhh, Marj, I can certainly relate. I'm in Year 2 of having lost the daily companionship and loving, 5-year-long relationship with our former neighbours' 2 cats (the girl, especially, having chosen me of her own free will, to fill the role as her "mom") to their family's move in late summer of 2014. And as we know, the grief, along with all its "secondary losses," is normally worse after Year 1. Sorry for the length of this post, but I seldom can make the time to even get on here anymore, yet have accumulated so much to share! So thanks so much for asking for others' thoughts, etc. I've been suffering a LOT this spring and early summer, virtually every time I go outside in our yard or anywhere around our house. The vacuum they've left is excruciatingly palpable for me, and even 'nice' things, such as the even larger proliferation of bird and squirrel activity than usual (since wildlife doesn't have to be as wary or nervous without any cats around) stabs me with sharp pangs of grief and yearning for the "good old days." For instance, for the first time in many years, I don't have to be on High Alert now to protect any early summer fledglings from potential attack in or around our property. My male cat buddy was still quite the "birder," vs. his step-sis, who (out of deep love and respect for me & my wishes) had complied in NOT hurting the birdies she might occasionally catch and proudly bring inside to show me before I'd usher them back out through an opened window. But it's one of those things "you'd think" someone would be thankful to not have to worry about anymore, and while that's true in its own way, at the same time it's a constant trigger and source of great sorrow for me. Even practically speaking, I'm not getting nearly as much exercise as I used to. No more "hopping to" first thing in the mornings, inserting my home-made cat door, knowing "my" girl would be over AS SOON AS her people let her out (often even before I was up), just waiting to come in and start her day WITH me...with her step-bro to soon follow....or in the last month before their move, for both to be let OUT, since I'd offered to care-take them myself, rather than subject them to weeks of vet. boarding during the final stages of their new home build. Also no more daily rush to set up of all the "little luxuries" in the yard that I provided these two darlings for several summers...along with the stark and painful reminder of the knowledge (since I've been to their new home and have seen for myself that their people have not bothered to put these things out in summer) that they are NOT getting the use of any of these anymore, despite me giving away most of these items to their people at the last, hoping to provide the catties with most of what became THEIR familiar and well-utilized comforts over the years here. Now our yard is bleakly devoid of all these, and lonelier than I could have ever imagined, since I had ALWAYS been sent new feline friends/loves to keep company with ever since I lost my "real" fur-daughter nearly 10 summers ago now. The entire "Gang" has been disbanded, and no newcomers exist anymore either. Plus, every time I have to look at or be in the front yard, I start to well up in tears (inwardly or outwardly), seeing the area across the street where I had FINALLY gotten the chance to unabashedly romp and play with these two darlings in their last month or so here, and where they gifted me with immediately and telepathically picking up on and wholly "getting" how to play Hide & Seek with me in the tall grasses, trees and bushes...just as I'd played with my own furchildren all the time, years earlier. We'd had an absolute HOOT together, both happily yet bittersweet-ly recreating the glory days of my own family, whilst also reveling in being able to gift these other two beloved furkids with this same joyful experience. And again, now knowing they're left to their own devices with NO ONE to play any games with them anymore, my heart is broken not JUST for myself, but for them, too. So particularly every nice day, this is brought sharply into focus, over and over and over again. And because there's no cat door being used to always carry the sounds of the outdoors into the house, I barely even hear the summer sounds, regardless. This is so alien, and extra depressing, the days feeling so much shorter now than they should. And although last summer carried the same lack of past activity and joy, it was fraught with other unexpected problems and losses/griefs that demanded all of my attention, so I was mainly distracted from some of this pain. This summer, it all just stings immensely more, and I know there is no one to safely share these feelings with, to listen to my continuing heartache or understand this pain, to hold my hand or give me an empathetic hug, save for the like-minded folks here. So the hiding of my true feelings "out there," the feelings that I know would be minimized or made fun of by the "ignorant," is as usual, an added burden and component of yet another deeply felt but disenfranchised loss.
  10. Candle Lighting May 26

    I will also join everyone for this remembrance ceremony. Serendipitously, I feel my furkids are calling me to connect more deeply again anyway, as I just received 2 more signs from them just yesterday and today. Love that poem from Mary, and another short but poignant one I had saved (unknown author) is: "My love for you is a journey.... Starting at forever, And ending at never." And still, one of my all-time favourites for furchildren is: Not flesh of my flesh Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute You didn't grow Under my heart-but in it" ~Fleur Conkling Heylinger I'm sure my heart will also be drifting to include those I lost to a move after a 5-year-long close relationship with them.
  11. My new cat can't stop my grief

    Athos, I also meant to add that many cats like to play only in brief spurts anyway, so 5 mins. may be his limit...at least for now! Since he had spent so much time cloistered away in a closet (oh, horrors!), it may take him a few months to de-stress and feel more at ease in playing with you. It could also be an indication that this guy was NEVER really played with, and needs to be introduced to the sheer joys and benefits of good bouts of playtime. It's also possible you just haven't hit upon the one, or few, games/toys he'd really like. So in the meantime, since I don't know what kinds of games or toys you've been trying out, maybe these will give you some inspiration (the vids are really amusing, too): https://pethelpful.com/cats/easygamesforcats Note, though, one should NEVER, EVER leave anything string-like unsupervised for a cat to get at on their own, as many cats will attempt to eat it and can easily end up with a life-threatening intestinal obstruction. And you can also cut holes in bags and boxes, through which fingers or toys can be poked or dragged, to add extra excitement to the game. Or place your guy in a bag or box and drag something like a cloth "tie" underneath the container and his feet. Another favourite I've found is using very long, single blades of grasses like crabgrass, oatgrass, quackgrass, etc. as a "snake" for them to chase. Just be absolutely sure the grass hasn't been sprayed or treated with ANY chemicals. This way, they can actually catch and eat a portion of their "catch," adding to their enjoyment. I've introduced and taught tons of games to others' cats -- games that their own people just couldn't be bothered to play with them. And I have always found that although certain games are pretty commonly liked, some cats are very particular and you must closely observe their preferences and tailor the game to what holds their attention the longest, and what they personally prefer within that game, e.g. a s-l-o-w movement, or a fast one, or combo of the two. Do they prefer to be the "hider," or the "seeker" in Hide & Seek? Things like that. Then again, my own attitude has always been, how can I entertain them, rather than the other way around, and they clearly appreciate the sentiment!
  12. My new cat can't stop my grief

    I apologize for the very short notice, but there is a timely webinar coming up TOMORROW (Wed., Apr. 6/16), hosted by Kristin Hadley Thompson through her professional Animal Communication/Training practice at http://heart2heartwithanimals.com/ that will address the importance & effects of names, if anyone's interested in learning more about this. This event is geared towards the work that Animal Communicators (or aspiring ones) do, so I have not included the live call-in number for such participants/members. Out of respect for everyone taking part in this event, IF there is a window provided to submit questions, please refrain from utilizing it if you are (a) a novice or skeptic, or (b) not currently aspiring to learn Animal Communication yourself. However, you can still listen in to the discussion online via the Event Page listed below, at the time of the event. Note this is in Eastern Time, so convert accordingly to your own time zone if you want to catch it. Animal Wisdom Mastery Hour How Can Birth Trauma & Name Affect An Animal's Behavior Kristin and her guest will talk about how heart-felt vibration and spoken sound affect animals, how animals feel about their name/s, what vibrations are "held" in a name, and how that can affect their being-ness and behavior...as well as the birth trauma topic. Wednesday April 6th/16 1:00pmET Event Page: http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=83051985 Event Page Password: Name & Birth Trauma
  13. I'll add my condolences to others' here, in the loss of your dear Chyna...such a sweet-looking boy! And I LOVE the picture of the two of you together. I'm just so terribly sorry... And I, too, am no stranger to your kind of story, nor to the crushing guilt that accompanies our huge losses. I can also highly relate, more than you know, to several similarities regarding kidney/bladder/lung fluid/harsh death issues. I still usually find it too agonizing to talk about much, regarding the death of my always beloved fur-son, Sabin (the black cat in my avatar). I wish I had exact answers for you, and I'm not trying to depress you or anyone else, but the truth is, I still carry some of that guilt and remorse (since they're different beasts), even years after doing so much grief work. I'm not sure I will ever be rid of 100% of that, unless I can ever afford to do some other, related things that may potentially entirely change my perspectives and experiences. So your post had me crying, too, in remembrance, and in heartfelt empathy. It is also very difficult to deal with beating ourselves up, in conjunction with blaming professionals....but I'll say that more often than I ever used to think possible, I've learned that guilt often belongs more with them, rather than with us. But either way, we then also begin the long, arduous process of forgiveness...towards ourselves, and if possible, towards others. Truthfully, I'm still not quite there on either account, even years later. Life has so many uncontrollable aspects to it, it's a wonder any of us even survive the toll it takes on our souls. And I think it's impossible to focus solely on the "good memories" we have, since our grief, in all its related aspects, becomes a part of us, meaning there usually is no annihilating it entirely from the continuum of our feelings and thoughts. We can only do the best we can, or can't, at any given time during these agonizing journeys. As for those who don't "get it," I'd suggest ignoring them and their "unconsciousness" as best you can. It's their loss that they don't understand, even though that often means we're the ones made to suffer for it. Just avoid them until "if or when" you're feeling stronger....and even then, be wary around such people, and don't share anything you might later regret. The damage they can do when we're in our most vulnerable states can be incalculable. That quote (above) is TRUE, so use it and let it really sink in deeply. Again, I'm so very sorry, Noon, for your loss of your sweet boy, Chyna.
  14. My new cat can't stop my grief

    Lol! Yup, that's the spirit! Sometimes it is just a matter of shortening a name to one that suits better. And glad you chose against the more limiting "Goofy," too, Kay! I'm sure your boy appreciates it! Some of the names (either given or nicknamed) I've seen or heard for some poor animals have sickened me to my core, they're so derogatory and demeaning...and of course those are the animals who usually have behavioral "issues" that make their lives miserable. But your story reminds me of how one of our former neighbours' cats came with a "stuffy," very "formal" name, too, and thankfully, they at least shortened it to something more "casual" for him. That being said, he still got other 'nicknames' from me that he imparted to me over the years. One of his all-time favourites arose from a healing session I did with him, where I was involuntarily made privy to a former, very traumatic lifetime of his, and showing he was still tied to big fears he experienced back then. At the end, he suddenly gave me something else he'd like to be called, namely "BIIIIIIIG Tiger-Tiger" (who was I to argue or question a name I never would have come up with myself?!), the requisite prefix helping him feel more personally powerful (since his personality can be highly sensitive, which caused him many problems). I swear, you could just SEE him get all enervated and more confident in himself every time I called him that, as long-winded as it was for me to say, lol! It was SOOO incredibly gratifying! Sadly, his people never inquired into WHY I was sometimes calling him that, or I would have gladly detailed this for them, for his sake.
  15. My new cat can't stop my grief

    Another thought: Just to see what may come of it, you could also try asking this cat (out loud &/or silently) if he likes whatever name he's been given (their names are often unceremoniously changed at shelters), and see if you get any "inspired" answers back - either hearing a name (or a form thereof) in your head, or through a vision, or seeing a name being made manifest repeatedly, or seeing an object or other creature repeatedly, etc, and "try it on" for this cat to see if he responds positively to it or not, or if you need to tweak it somehow. Just stay open to the possibilities. Most animals are never asked what they'd like to be called, but just imagine how awful it would be to be forced into into, say, an "old folks home" and have people disrespectfully and suddenly changing your name on you, without any consideration as to how YOU felt about it...as if it wasn't bad enough that you were thrown into this strange, horrible place that wasn't "home"! Additionally, animals can even "live up, or down to" their given names and what those names energetically carry. Meanwhile, a simple change in name to what they prefer can often positively change their personalities literally overnight. I've done this with nearly every cat I've ever known, so they've all received various "nicknames" from me that they made me aware of one way or another, and the ones who weren't legally mine immediately "came" to those names, not to whatever name their people had chosen for them. For just one example, the given "Princess" suddenly became "Gem" one day, because I was receptive to hearing what she preferred, and our relationship just blossomed after that. She NEVER "came" to her given name, even when used by her own people, but ALWAYS responded to me calling her "nickname," and she concurrently became SO amazingly loving towards me, even my own fur-girl's spirit came through her for me, several times running. Such simple things can create miracles, and stretch us beyond our self-imposed limitations. It is just BLISS when you can connect to an animal in these ways, and can immediately enrich and change lives.