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Years have gone by since my life changed forever. I am now medicated and in therapy. My family has it with my obsession with ferrets, perhaps I am trying to fill in a gap in my life. I still will not turn off my torch for my Chinook, they can't make me for I will never betray his memory. I am getting better I feel and have done my last memorial video of Chinook, a milestone in my ongoing grief, 5 years later. This is for you my Chinook. Your life is being celebrated and I pray I will see you in Heaven and you will remember me. My Nookie

Chinook the Ferret passed 2-22-12. In my heart I felt I should have put him down a few months back but I felt he still has some earthly pleasures, eating, snuggling, and so on even though his behind legs were going out. The day he died, I knew I had to put him down the day before but we both knew. I remember I took a week off work and my last day, I was praying for God to take him because I knew I could not handle it,. I remember crying and Chinook crawling to me and licked the tears off my face. The worst day of my life and I pray for my life to end to end the pain in my heart, Fast forward almost an year and half later, and the sting of his death is still with me. I keep on telling me, this soon will pass and I think of Nikomi, my other ferret and even though I am sad, it is not grief stricken like Chinook. Chinook was always my favorite and I supposed it is my fault for building my life around this wonderful critter and now he is gone. The worst part, I am now being exposed to more and more people in my life that state animals do not have souls. Nothing is written in the Bible and I quote scriptures such as "and the Lion will eat with the sheep in harmony" which suggests there is a place in Heaven for God's creatures and then I get these people that say, you have to be reborn again, believe in Jesus, etc etc and animals have no concept of God so therefore they are here on earth to entertain us and to be eaten and that is it. So what is the purpose of dying or going to Heaven if my Chinook is not going to be there, I have lost family members in my life and I have grieve for them but I also know the Bible teaches we will be reunited in Heaven, I am so lost and cry and cry more and more but always in private because the people in my life are tired of hearing about Chinook the Ferret and for obvious reason why I do not have another ferret, It is almost welcoming to be separated in my relationship so I can get another ferret but I know that will not happen. No other ferret or other animal for that reason can replace my Chinook. I am so lost. Would like to share this short video I made on You Tube that sums up how I feel in this post. Thank you for listening.