Search the Community

PAW PRINTS IN THE SAND David Lasaine 2017 When you were alone, I was there. When the sun or set, I was there. We shared many wonderful memories, you and me. We laughed and played together. When you were sad, I was there. When you cried, I tasted your tears. When you faced death, I was there. When the darkest of times happened, I was there. When you slept...I protected you. When you shivered...I was your warmth. I asked not for much: a belly rub, my side and chin scratched. To be walked a few times a day. I put my life in your hands to care for me, to feed me...to love me. I served you with unconditional love and faithfully during my life. I know you suffer but as always you think of my well-being first. Thank you. I know you love me unconditionally. I will not be gone from you…ever. When we meet in the Spiritual World, we will play again and again. I know you will not forget me. I will be patiently waiting for you, and when it is Bailey’s time, we will be with Mitzy. We will become one in spirit forever when you arrive. Write the books about us. Don’t give up. Honor us to help others. Eternally Yours, Your Faithful Companion, Bambaloo McWigglybutt Lasaine Happy Life with Poppy 12/3/17 - 2/3/23

It's been a while since I've been on here. It's been 16 months since Dad passed away & on Valentine's day it was the 2 yr mark since my best friend left us all. I have continued to struggle & fight this grief thing including taking a mild anti depressant & now taking more of the anti anxiety pills as I have had even more periods of anxiety. I have had HORRIBLE STRESS with my job, planning my daughter's July wedding, some volunteer activities even. Next week I'm finally going to start the process of seeing a therapist-I've been using my husband's shoulders to cry on long enough & last week I felt I was having a melt down. I know a lot of the depression can be attributed to the winter weather & no sun & horrible temps, etc. BUT Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck missing Dad & Donna. Not a day goes by I don't think of Dad at least especially as the wedding gets closer & we're reminded that my Dad always told my daughter he couldn't wait to dance with her on her special day. I have started wondering if something happened to my spiritual side with these losses. I have forced myself to go to church exactly twice [besides a couple funerals] since Dad's funeral & my heart feels hard or empty when I think of God-is that possible? I so want to be open to all that again but it's like that side is gone. Does that make any sense? I see people's pictures and posts on facebook about loving God & all these great things & I don't feel any of that! I used to I know. Also, can physical belongings tie you to the grief? If so, what happens if you get rid of them. As I type this I'm looking at 2 pictures on my wall that I bought during a road trip with my best friend. Each time I see them some great memories of her come back at the same time that I tear up. My husband & I both want to change the decor in this room & those things wont' look good when we do but I hate to toss them. I don't find them that attractive any more but besides a couple small photos of her & my memories they are the ONLY thing I have of her left. I'm afraid if I give them away I'll have nothing to remind me of her even as I know I get a bit sad sometimes seeing them. I was ok getting rid of a lot of Dad's things because I have so many other things-like my Daughter's smile or even just my Mom to keep memories of him alive. With Donnna I don't - a few photos. Is it ok if I take these pictures down? Will I still have her?

My family has suffered another sad death this week: my 62 year old cousin passed away yesterday from mestatic breast cancer-her 3rd fight with breast cancer. It's so sad because of how hard she fought to beat it 3 times. We come from a very large clan & her family are all like siblings to my family. Friday I had called her sister to tell her I'd be up this coming Saturday to bring a shoe box of photos of their family & our other cousins, I'd found while sorting all Mom & Dad's so her & her sister & other family could enjoy them while Denise was still alive. She said Denise had been having some pretty decent days even with hospice coming in every day & that they'd look forward to seeing the photos. Guess now we can look at them after the funeral. A bit surreal is that her funeral is Friday-exactly 3 months after my Dad died. It's going to be a really tough day & I don't know exactly how to deal with all these different emotions. Was just getting a grip on Dad's death but I have a tough time on many Fridays [THE day, not the date] as it is. I know Dad & the rest of our angel family were there to greet her. My parents were her God parents & Mom is taking this very hard too; she's in Houston with some of my sisters & can't get back so another sister, a brother & I will be representing our family. OH & we also got the news that my Mom's last living sister in law is in critical condition after a fall this week & it's not looking good. Oh & on Valentine's Day we get to celebrate the 1 year anniversary of my best friend's death. I'll actually be travelling to Kansas City with 20 friends & former co-worker to send up gold crown balloons in front of the Hallmark Crown Center to celebrate her life & how we all met [working for Hallmark corporate]. Thought 2013 was going to be better & not filled with death.