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ella posted a topic in Loss in Young AdulthoodMy Mom passed almost five years ago of Cancer when I was 16. She was ill since I was 12. was an incredible Mom, I am so proud and grateful that she was mine. Since her passing, I have felt an overwhelming amount of guilt as I wasn't there for her when she was dying. I was so afraid - I hid in my room on the computer. In a sense, I still do. I experienced deep, overwhelming depression and agoraphobia. It spiralled out of control. Every time I get a job, for example, I become deeply depressed and spiral into suicidal thoughts and actions. I do not know how to stop this. Since my Mom's passing, I have continually dropped out of schools, jobs and relationships. I struggle with keeping my word and struggle to accept myself. A few days ago my Dad told me he is at breaking point and struggles supporting me as an adult. It is not fair to him. In a few weeks, I am starting school again. I really do not want to fail and drop out this time - I want to succeed. Please help me