My daughter lost her first baby, Isabel, and our first grandchild, suddenly and unexpectedly one day after birth. This was only 2 months ago and so we are shell shocked.
We were visiting a relative yesterday whose 11 year old son died 25 years ago. She immersed herself in all things Elisabeth Kubler Ross at the time and it gave her a lot of comfort. She works in the Health Sector and considers herself an authority on many things!
My daughter was crying as she was sharing a few of the details of Isabel's death and I instinctively moved across the room and sat down next to her, putting my arm around her as she continued talking. I had noticed as my daughter was crying she had been keeping a good distance from her even though they were sitting on the couch together.
The other woman told me later (privately) that I should not have come and touched my daughter. That if someone is talking, by physically touching them it "stops/shuts down the grief."
I was stunned when she said that as I had presumed a loving touch would open people up to expressing more emotion as they would feel "safe". I am expecting my natural instincts will always override an analytical and theoretical source.
Does anyone have any information on this EKR theory? I just can't seem to let it go and would like some advice.