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As I was walking toward a good direction on my grief journey, where my PTSD started to subside, my anxiety was lower, I was starting to able to sleep, there was one thing that just drew me back. My ex-boyfriend started to withdraw from me because he had lots of trouble with work and decided to quit, and he talked to me less and less during my most vulnerable state. It reached to a point where yesterday we both said that it would be beneficial to just take a break. Even though I feel firm that it is a good decision for me, I was still so sad that I cried for an hour (with my friends around me) last night. Then last night while I was trying to go to sleep, I was internally then physically shaking because of the upsetness. I allowed myself to tremble for a bit, then I wa able to relax and fell back to sleep. This morning I tried to go to class, but during class we were talking about racism and killing, and I started feeling agitated again that I started feeling shortness of breath. I ended up going outside of the classroom and sat on a bench to breath... someone walked over and asked if i was okay, I said I'm going through grief and breakup. They suggested me to call my doctor, and I called my nurse. My nurse said that the shaking, the crying, and the trembling were all due to anxiety and the upsetness. She said that its not depression, and it's not something physical. It's just that my emotions were so strong that my body is not used to that...Right now I just feel numb, I don't know what to think... Maybe I will get back on medication... I'm just very very tired...