I got fired

[Hol]

I am venting, so please excuse me !!!

I have been going downhill since my parents died (I already posted this). I changed careers from 36 years of IT to nursing. Yup a brave move at a late stage in life.  I grew up with my mom in and out of cancer hospitals. I used to be in awe of the wonderful nurses that helped her for many many years. I am now one and I'm finding it is not what I thought it would be.  I only did the one year LPN program, it gets you to a nurse but it does not get the respect.  I was quickly hired full time, med benefits and all, I worked hard as a field nurse, tons of mileage, working in inner city situations, worked late hours that were not to be paid for.

I was badgered, never scrutinized, just if I made one wrong step, they would clobber me.  I worked for hospice (a familiar job). I got kicked out of a facility because I entered a room, saw the patient breathing like a fish out of water and asked the attending nurse if she needed help.  My error, was not stating my name on entry. I'll never understand the severe punishment of kicking me out of a facility, when my primary task was to help the patient out of a crisis leaving introductions as on the back burner.

my next error, was working with an elderly lady, anxiety, pain. I asked her if the facility has a meditation program, would you want to try it. I was able to calm her and lower her blood pressure by just talking to her and holding her hand. she thought it was a great idea.  well, I received a nasty email from my big boss telling me she needed to do massive damage control for the terrible mess I made. I got kicked out of that place also.

today I told the new RN nurse to be careful of mentioning meditation to a patient because it landed me in trouble. I was called into the office after that  and let go.

I did nothing wrong in any of these cases, but I am up at 3:00 am as I always wake up (even before this), there is a horrible sound of silence, lonely, daunting, restless. I wish I could just speak to the only 2 people that ever cared for me and I cannot reach them.

I have no idea of what to do for a job now, nursing is a disappointment and I have not had a good exp in the whole 7 months of the career.  I was never fired in my life until I reached 56.

I know I write in here when I'm in crisis and I am.... my life is not good, mentally I'm getting tired of holding everything together. I need money and don't know what to do. 36 years of IT is basically meaningless because I never had a degree in that field.........

uggggghhhh...just want to be with my family

 

[kayc]

You should be able to get unemployment even though you were fired.  You didn't do anything that you could see would cause you to lose your job.  I don't know what your job paid, but honestly, I'd rather be a waitress than go through what you have and you might make more at it!

It sounds like you're a caring person, a people person, and that could be a great asset to you.  You may have been let go because of your age, I experienced age discrimination when I tried to find a job at age 59 and 60, and I didn't even look my age.  

When I lost my job it made me long for the person I lost all the more, my husband, but he's been gone a long time now.  It's because we feel alone, vulnerable, and need that person that makes us see our worth and how valuable we are, the person that reassures us.  Your feelings are totally normal.

I'm sorry you're going through this.  I guess nurses aren't allowed opinions?  And I would think by law they'd have to pay you the hours you worked.  I'm a one to talk!  I never got paid all the hours I worked either!   I was an Office Mgr. and Bkpr.
 

[Hol]

Thank you Kay....

I think yesterday I was numb, today it hit me harder.

I related to you...... I had an orientation with a new agency today. When I got back to my car, I drove home missing my parents terribly. I know it sounds odd, but , yes, it is that lonely feeling. When I got home, I full out cried in the car.  I had such a good life and it has been gone for such a long time.  Last night I was up again, can you believe the sound of silence can be so annoying!!??  I wanted to get in my car and just drive somewhere. 

Sometimes, I just don't know how I go on without my family. I find no happiness except for my 2 dogs, I don't care to travel anymore. The interests I had, have long been gone.  

But, now after working so hard for this new nursing career and getting the shaft for being a good hearted person kind of sets me under water even more.  I don't have one single person to even tell this feeling to. I feel like I'm going to crash at any moment.

and yes, you are smart, there is a discrimination thing going on with the company I worked for.  it is clear and evident and they can actually get away with it. But, that does not make them a good company and to be honest. I had to work in very bad areas of the inner city. Someone has been watching over for my safety this entire time I've been with the company. At one point, I was told to walk over guns laying on steps.  It might be a good thing I'm out of there, they never thought I fit in to the culture.

 

hugs to you, I know they feeling you have with the loneliness also

[kayc]

I can very much relate.  The last place I worked for (seven years) was young people...and me.  I was never treated right by my boss and he was an idiot (sorry, no other way to put it).  When he let me go, a truck had hit my car the night before, and one four months before that, so I felt it was clearly meant it was time to get off the road 100+ miles/day commute) and retire.  I didn't know how I'd make it, but I have.  And it was definitely the right decision!  In the time since, I'm unable to drive at night for an eye condition I have.  I may be poor, but at least in peace.

Guns laying on steps?  Sounds like good riddance to me!  I hope you find something where you can like where you work.

[Hol]

Kay

you made a right choice to get off the road !!! that was a lot of driving !!!  and im glad you found peace ,,,, peace.. sounds so nice !!!

yup, guns on steps, traversing dark hallways not knowing who was lurking. Driving my fancy sports car into bad places,  and I never made a complaint, I just wanted to keep the job even if it meant being treated poorly.

 honestly not sure if any place I work will give appreciation

[kayc]

Well I will pray for it at any rate.  My second to the last job I had was wonderful!  I was valued and appreciated and it was a hand and glove fit for the company AND for me!  I loved the employees, I loved going to work.  I'd come in in the morning and hear all the "happy sounds" of chatter and the radio playing in the background, people happily working...that is how it SHOULD be!  It was my favorite job I've ever worked, but I've had other good ones too.  It's just the last one (seven long years) was the worst.

I hope you find that right fit for you!

[iPraiseHim]

On 10/6/2016 at 2:55 AM, Hol said:

I know I write in here when I'm in crisis and I am.... my life is not good, mentally I'm getting tired of holding everything together. I need money and don't know what to do. 36 years of IT is basically meaningless because I never had a degree in that field.........

 

I am not an IT person, but maybe there is a job where you can combine those skills.  Depending on the area of IT you do have several options.  36 years EXPERIENCE in IT speaks volumes to any intelligent Business person seeking your skill set.  We live in a time when political correctness has run muck....

Do not believe that you are not qualified just because you don't have a degree. I am an entrepreneur and looking for an honest, high-integrity, focused, quality workers.  They are hard to find but it is not impossible.  

Assess your skills and pray to God or ask the Universe to direct your path.  It is okay to stumble and to stay down and even est for a little while.  The secret in life is to get up, dust yourself off and keep pressing forward in life. You have a lot more going for you than you realize  .  - Shalom 

[Hol]

Hi Kay

I had a wonderful job also, the people I worked with were like family, I thought it was time to move on..after 36 years. I thought nursing would be in honor of my mother that could not finish it, I also thought I'd be giving back.  I have been reading the nursing websites lately and most are feeling the same as I do. Nursing has changed, it's thankless and overworked.  I remember going with my mom to her surgeries, each nurse was wonderful, respectable.  Well, that was the last career I would have gone into, simply because I could not stand the site of blood or the gore.  My mom would flip now, if she knew all that changed !!! 

I miss those "happy sounds", the weather is getting gloomy now and it's not good timing.  I let this event get to me and promptly ran to my doctor today to get some anti depressants. I have fought this since my parents passed and now all seems hopeless.  I will have a difficult time being hired, the age, I cannot push the "med cart" because you don't get enough time to finish, no breaks, no time for the potty and your feet swell at the end of the shift.  I'm too old for that, but sadly those are the available jobs, but even know they have bumped up the minimum exp to 2 years, it used to be 1, I have 7 months...lol

I feel like i'm a hamster in that running cage, going nowhere. I made a friend at work, she has been a nurse for 30 years, she knows everyone, but has not offered a job to me...odd...so, either I'm a terrible nurse, or she doesn't want to go out on the limb for me.

tomorrow I start this magic pill, but it will not help me forget my family, it will not get me a new job to pay my bills, it won't make my life better, so, to me it seems hopeless to take the thing .... uggggghhh

[Hol]

George

thank you for the response.  I also thought 36 years would speak for itself, it does not. When I'm asked if I have a certification the conversation ends.  I suppose if I get the certification it would open those doors, but time is going also, I stopped IT in 2014.  I feel like everything I worked for meant nothing.  I don't even qualify for the entry level helpdesk, and I half wonder if it is the over 50 thing.

Each day, I respond to another job ad and maybe something decent will appear

you sound like a really great person to work with, I'm glad that integrity means a lot still to some people

thank you !!

[kayc]

I would go to my friend and ASK her for her help getting a job.  Ask her assessment and really listen to it.  Tell her you are willing to do what it takes and ASK her for her referrals.  It can't hurt, the worst that can happen is she can decline, in which case you're no worse off than you are right now.  

And don't rule out something else.  When you look at job listings, ask yourself, "Am I qualified to do that?  Can I do that?"  Even if you've never done it before.  If the answer is yes, apply anyway.  You never know, someone might be willing to hire a good older worker.  I was looking during the recession, things have greatly improved since then.  The market belonged to the employer then, now it's changed, you should have better luck now than I did then.