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22 months on its way


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Elsewhere he mentioned that they want to start speech therapy asap.  That would be great for Noah!

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OMG, I just got an email from Butch and it says:
He said Mom!  Katie is thrilled.  It's only one word but it's a miracle. 

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I love the words CHRISTMAS MIRACLE, but know this would be a 365 day, any day miracle.  Have fun playing Santa Claus Butch.  Prayers still with you.  I am not a prayer warrior like some of my friends, but sometimes I think they go further than the ceiling and my mustard seed faith might not move a mountain, but it helps me walk on an asphalt road.  Concrete too.  And we are all thinking about you.  Hug that little Gracie and your grandson for us all and our hearts are with you, Allen and Katie and Noah also.:wub:

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They all get to go see Noah today.  It will be good for Caleb as well.

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The visit went well, he had a seizure but they'd prepared Caleb for it.  Noah was happy to see them.

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Noah is saying brother, Gracie, Momma, and Dad.  He's still having some seizures. He's getting speech and physical therapy daily.  I'm still caring for Caleb and Gracie.   We had Christmas morning and then spent it with Noah in his hospital room.  Gracie walked clear across the room today.  She's was so proud of herself.  

I'm struggling.  As the 9th will be two years since my beautiful bride went to heaven.  It's really weighing on me.  But I have to be ok for the kids and grandkids.  Allen is clocking some hours at work.  Katie is staying with Noah.  They are trying to set up therapy for home and a nurse to help out.  

I wish my Mary was here.  My heart hurts... :(

Butch. 

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Butch I hope there can be a time on the ninth when you can get alone.  I hope this for you. One of the hardest things about grief is when you can't find the time for yourself to do grief. It becomes not unlike sleep depravation. I know you can't show it to the grandchildren  but even if you have to go somewhere and just lose it, it's okay. At two years I was no better on that day than I was on the first one. Everyone here is hugging you Butch and Mary is too. 

I'm glad about Noah.

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I am so happy about his improvement.  That is about the best Christmas present your family could receive.  This time last year I would remember every day that the year before we did not even suspect Billy was sick.  We were sleeping in the RV and getting used to small spaces and loved it.  Now I only think "he was not here last year" and it is sad, but it is more realistic than thinking he was alive this time last year.  We all have our idiosyncrasies and no one is the same, but we all hurt the same.  The pain is just as knife wrenching to each one of us as the other.  The disbelief is the same.  The nightmare and hope to wake up is the same.  I wish you some peace my friend and so happy Gracie is well and walking.  So happy Noah is talking.  The rest they will work out.  My prayers are with your family my friend.  

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My dear friend, Butch,

I know your family faces a long road ahead of them...I also know, from having known your family the time I have, that they will make it through this, together.  You are a strong family...you may not feel like it, may want to swear at the mere thought of that phrase, but the truth is, history has shown you all to be strong even in the face of your weakest moments and doubts.

I love you and your family and wish for glimmers of hope to be sent your way to sustain you and encourage you!  Hearing Noah say his family members' names must sound like music to your ears!  And little Gracie taking her steps...how precious a reminder that life continues even in the face of such hardship.

I know all too well what it is to face anniversaries of death.  What a jolting reminder it is to us!  As if we need one. :(  You will be in my thoughts and prayers on the ninth, as you are every day.

I pray continually for good things to come your way...and Katie's and Allen's and Noah's and Caleb's and even little Gracie's way.

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You are in my thoughts and prayers Butch.  I like what Kay said about the strength of your family members.  I think you all are amazing.  ?

 

Autocorrect is embarrassing me all the time.  Sorry Kayc.

Edited by Widowedbysuicide
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A few hour ago Noah suffered a brain aneurysm. Drs say it's par for the course with a traumatic brain injury. So this is a set back.  Sadly.  He's back in ICU.  

Just wanted to update.  This is very hard. Especially with Jan 9th coming two years since my Mary died.  I want some normalcy.  

I'm doing my best trying to keep normalcy for my other two grandchildren.  It's tiring for sure.  

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Butch, we never know how much energy we can manufacture when we are needed and you are needed.  My heart is with you and your family.  We are praying for the best.  Do not like anniversaries of anything.  Don't like counting days.  Just me.  There are 365 days in a year and we are without our spouse/love/partner/reason for living all 365 days, even on Saturday and Sundays.  Again, my heart is with you.  Take time to rest, even if it has to be when the others are sleeping.  Our thoughts are with you.

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10430448_983087981716349_273879777388494:

Your grief for your beloved isn't going anywhere, dear Butch, and if you're too preoccupied right now with more urgent matters ~ caring for your grandchildren and worrying about Noah ~ to take time to grieve for Mary, just know that It will be there when you are in a better position to sit with your own pain and address it. Meanwhile, we wish for peace to your broken heart, and pray for healing for you and for your family.  

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Butch, I know it's a setback, but it's not the end, they will keep working with him where he's at, no matter how long it takes.  I know it's hard for all of you to go through. :(  Your family is lucky to have you, you have all been lucky to have each other, you pull together, better than any family I've seen.  My church continues to pray for Noah, my heart goes out to this little guy that is going through so much pain and hardship.  I hope on the 9th you'll have some time to yourself to reflect and tell her how much you miss and love her.

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