I feel so quilty

[Rylee]

I know that coming here is to support each other in our grief, but I feel so guilty because I'm not contributing much for anyone else who is going through the soon to be loss or loss of their loved ones. I feel guilty about that. I have tried to comment and help but for some reason, I am having such a difficult time and I feel selfish for not being more active in helping and supporting others here who need it. I hope that anyone who reads my posts will forgive me for not doing more for others. It takes everything in me some days just to get out of bed or to smile or to not cry because I miss my mom so much. My body feels like it is melting into the floor and I can't pick myself up. I don't know how to deal with this kind of feelings. It has helped me to read the suggestions others have given me. I just wish I could do the same for others here. I hope I get to that point that I can help someone else who is grieving as hard as I am right now and hope that you will forgive me for not being at that point right now. 

Rylee

[enna]

Oh my dear Rylee,

What you have written is almost the same thing I said several years ago. The people who were/are on the forum a few years back said that when we support someone who is new to grief we do it because we are ready to offer the help. We should not feel guilty because we are not. You are not selfish, you are grieving and when and if you reach that point of offering someone a comment that may help someone then that is the time you will do so. That is one of the reasons I like the button that we can click on just to show someone that we have read what he/she wrote or that we like something someone said. Please do not feel guilty for where you are at this point on your journey. You are doing just fine.  

[MartyT]

Thank you, Anne, for saying to Rylee exactly what I would have said. Rylee, dear one, please just let yourself be exactly where you are ~ as long as you know that here, you are not alone. We've all been exactly where you are now ~ and we promise you that you will not stay in that place forever. Grief changes, and so will you, as long as you stick with it and surround yourself with the sort of compassion, understanding and companionship you will find right here with us . . .  ♥

[iPraiseHim]

4 hours ago, enna said:

Oh my dear Rylee,

 

What you have written is almost the same thing I said several years ago. The people who were/are on the forum a few years back said that when we support someone who is new to grief we do it because we are ready to offer the help. We should not feel guilty because we are not. You are not selfish, you are grieving and when and if you reach that point of offering someone a comment that may help someone then that is the time you will do so. That is one of the reasons I like the button that we can click on just to show someone that we have read what he/she wrote or that we like something someone said. Please do not feel guilty for where you are at this point on your journey. You are doing just fine.  

 

 

Ditto!.  When I first came, I was in such shock that I was just trying to make sense of it all. I needed to learn to breathe, hold on/ hang on and just express what I was going through.  Nothing in life prepared me for my wife's sudden death.  I would just come and read the posts and began to listen to what the more experienced grievers were sharing.  I would read their beginning posts and realize that they have gone through what I am going through and that gave me comfort that I was not crazy or all alone about these feelings.  RELAX and breath and learn how to care for yourself as much and well as your care for an love your Mom.  Baby steps... these take time. Grief takes a lot of energy. Get plenty of good rest, and keep coming and sharing when you are able.  We all care and relate to your grief.  - Shalom 

[kayc]

Rylee,

You are too fresh in this.  PLEASE don't put something on yourself that you are not in a ready place for!  It DOES take all that is within you to get through the day for yourself, and that is how grief is at this point.  Please be patient and understanding of yourself and put yourself first, that is what is needed right now.