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Overwhelmed by the most simple tasks


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I lost my father about a month ago. My dad is my best friend and I deeply miss him. I just recently started going back to work but asked to work part time. Before my fathers death, when I knew I'd have half days, I never worried about work or felt anxious. Now, with even the most simple tasks I feel overwhelmed. When I need to go to the store, I feel anxious, indecisive, and can't get myself to get up and go but eventually I do. I just feel like every SINGLE THING I DO IS A DRAG. I used to like be very productive and start my days early. But now, when I know I have work at say 1pm, I will not do anything productive before 1pm because I'm stressed. However back then, i'd get up early, clean the house, go to the gym, read a book, just anything to stay productive. Will things ever normalize again? Will this overwhelming feeling and anxiety ever go away? I want to go back to work and know that I can take on the day but every day just feels challenging for me.. :( FEELING HOPELESS. 

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Annie,

What you are feeling is normal for grief.  When I went back to work two weeks after my husband died (I even did payroll five days after he died), I asked my boss to check my work, something I'd never had to do before, because my brain felt like it was in a fog and I caught myself making mistakes, which isn't like me.  My job required perfection, so he obliged.  I can't say how long it'll be before you are back to the way you were before, because it's different for everyone.  I think the "want to" is one of the hardest things to get back, even now, 11 1/2 years later, I struggle with it.  Oh, I get up early, I'm productive as far as the things I have to do, but things I used to enjoy doing, my hobbies, they just don't seem to matter in the way they once did.  It feels like a mild depression.  What you are feeling, in those early stages, is a sense of overwhelming, because everything within you has been taxed to the hilt.  I swear it feels like we've been through brain trauma!  That part does get better once we've had time to process their death (with me it took nearly three years to fully process it, although a lot less than that for reality to hit), and adjust to the changes that it's made for us.  This whole thing is a lot harder than people realize!  Some people find it helps to see a grief counselor or go to a grief support group, to read books on loss, or videos, just to learn, to figure out how to incorporate it into our lives.  You are welcome to continue reading and posting, and don't forget the "tools" section on this site.

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