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My younger brother's girlfriend passed away a year back. She met with an accident and died on the spot. They were in a serious relationship for 3 years and it was a shocking news for all of us. He is still under depression and also addicted to drugs and alcohol. We don't know how to console him. I'm worried about his addiction and depression. He has changed a lot. I want my brother back. My mom says give him time, he will be okay. But I don't think so, if this condition continues then we won't get him back. So I'm thinking of taking him to an addiction treatment centre in Toronto. I have not yet discussed this with my parents, it's just my suggestion as I think both addiction and depression can be treated from addiction centres. I have read in articles that depression is one of the withdrawal symptoms of addiction. I hope this might help him. What do you say? Any alternatives are appreciated!! Thanks!!     

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My friend, as noble as it is that you want so desperately to get your brother back, and as much as you want to get him into treatment, I hope you realize that your brother is the only person who has the power to fix this. I say this not to discourage you, and certainly not to criticize the genuine love and concern you have for your brother. But the simple truth is that you cannot force someone to get help, unless and until he recognizes and acknowledges that he has a problem. And if he is (as you say) addicted to drugs and alcohol, you might do well to educate yourself about addiction and its treatment before you decide what to do next. See, for example, 3 Things You Can (and Can't) Do to Help An Addicted Loved One and Motivating Someone to Seek Help

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You are right in your thinking his addictions need addressed before he can deal effectively with his grief, but I know of no way you can force him to do so.  You can try to get him to realize his need but as Marty said, only he can take that step.  Often courts order a person to get treatment and more often than not, it doesn't work because the person hasn't realized their need on their own...yet.

I applaud you for not wanting to sit by and watch him destroy himself.  This isn't a phase he's going through that he'll just suddenly wake up and change.  Maybe try calling AA and find out when/where there's a meeting for family members of alcoholics (or drug addicts), they might be able to provide you with more help on how to best deal with it.  It'd be great if your parents would go with you.

I'm sorry your brother lost his GF, that is very hard.  Alcohol/drugs only compound the problem though, and I sincerely hope with you that he gets off them.

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