The First step

[AB3]

Went to the counseling center today and spoke with a therapist for a bit, my first appointment is this Tuesday coming up. The therapist stated I will definitely need depression/anxiety medication in addition to therapy. Does anyone have any experience with these types of meditations?? I'm nervous about having to take them so any insight anyone could offer would be much appreciated. I'm hopeful that therapy will help me cope. It was hard to take that first step but very necessary. 

[Gwenivere]

I am obviously not a doctor, but it concerns me when a therapist says you 'definitely' need meds after one brief meeting without some full sessions to talk about what is happening to you.  Being so new to this grief as you are I'm a bit leery when they want to throw pills at someone right off the bat.  It doesn't mean you may not need some help with anxiety as that is a real biggie.  A decision about taking antidepressants is not something to take lightly.  My question to this therapist is why they feel that with so little information before getting to know you and all you are experiencing.  They could be right, but to say that right off the bat seems premature.  Many have gone that route while others respond quite well to just having an outlet.  I'm on both, but was before I even lost Steve.  You are just over a month into this so don't be pressured or 'sold' these are miracle fixes as they are not.  

I'm more pro anti anxiety meds because one is in overload.  To get a respite in the turmoil.  That not uncommon in the first few months.   I just hope this isn't a therapist trying to numb you out.  As much as we hate It, we have to feel it to work on it.  Strictly my opinion.   

[AB3]

8 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

I am obviously not a doctor, but it concerns me when a therapist says you 'definitely' need meds after one brief meeting without some full sessions to talk about what is happening to you.  Being so new to this grief as you are I'm a bit leery when they want to throw pills at someone right off the bat.  It doesn't mean you may not need some help with anxiety as that is a real biggie.  A decision about taking antidepressants is not something to take lightly.  My question to this therapist is why they feel that with so little information before getting to know you and all you are experiencing.  They could be right, but to say that right off the bat seems premature.  Many have gone that route while others respond quite well to just having an outlet.  I'm on both, but was before I even lost Steve.  You are just over a month into this so don't be pressured or 'sold' these are miracle fixes as they are not.  Just tools if needed.  My opinion strictly.

Thank you Gwenivere. We talked for about 30 mins or so but I can understand your concern. She was concerned after viewing my paperwork that detailed my current mood and state of mind. Based off that evaluation she stated due to what she learned about me she heavily believes I need antidepressants. I have never been to counseling or been on any medication so I'm not sure what is right or wrong in this case. 

[Widowedbysuicide]

I have been on antidepressant medications for about 25 years.  In that time I have tried to change medications because of possible side effects and I have tried to wean off the meds.  I feel that I cope better when I am taking them.  A friend that uses alcohol daily as self-medication has tried to convince me that I am no better now than I was before meds.  It's good that he can not read minds...  He doesn't know what really goes on in my mind, my heart, or my life to be able to make that judgement.  I have also continued to seek help with the problems that have plagued me for many years.  I think for me that seeing a counselor and taking classes on such things as relaxation, mindfulness, and using medications has helped me to live a more productive life with better coping skills.

There are no miracle medications that make life 100% fantastic.  If you have meds that do that I think there is a problem.  Mine just help me function better.  I am less anxious and feel better about most things in my life.  I still get down but it doesn't get as bad or last as long.  I am still me but in a version 2.0 instead of 0.1.

Whatever you decide to do I recommend that you talk about it as much as possible.  Let your doctor and therapists know how you are doing.  Ask questions and maybe try journaling.  It often takes some time before your medication is working and you may have a lot of adjusting to dosages to get it right, it is important to know that and to be aware of how you are feeling.

I hope that you will find someone that can help you with making decisions about if you should or shouldn't take meds and that you will soon be feeling better.  

[Brad]

AB - I was on Remeron because I was not eating and could not sleep.  Side effects for Remeron, aka Mirtazapine, include helping with sleep issues and an increased appetite.  I was prescribed this antidepressant by my psychiatrist and stayed on it for four months.  I then went back on it for two months last summer as lack of sleep once more became an issue.  Other than eating again and sleeping, some times eight to ten hours in a night, I did not notice any other side effects.  I still cried, although not as frequently, and missed my wife but, for me, it was a good call.

[AB3]

Thank you all for your insights. I'm a bit hesitate on taking antidepressants but if it will help me feel even the slightest bit better than I am currently I'm willing to try them. 

[Gwenivere]

Taking over Marty's chair, just be sure you tell your therapist what your biggest issues are.  There are so many antidepressants and some target particular things, like for Brad, than others.  The goal of all is to relieve the depression, but some can hype you and others do the opposite.  Keep us posted!  ?

[Guest]

I'm pulling for ya AB.  I was given zoloft late last january, then i july or august it was suggested that i try going without it for awhile just to see how i would do. I just within the past week have them back in my arsenal again. I never noticed any bad affects from them. I never felt drugged, or not myself. But they did smooth out the rough edges, and  helped me to feel calmer. Thank goodness we live in the computer age now. You can research anything and everything on this magic box---even meds. Be cautious and careful with what you're given. We've got your back here, AB.

one foot in front of the other...

Darrel

[AB3]

16 minutes ago, Gwenivere said:

Taking over Marty's chair, just be sure you tell your therapist what your biggest issues are.  There are so many antidepressants and some target particular things, like for Brad, than others.  The goal of all is to relieve the depression, but some can hype you and others do the opposite.  Keep us posted!  ?

Will do Gwenivere!

[AB3]

6 minutes ago, olemisfit said:

I'm pulling for ya AB.  I was given zoloft late last january, then i july or august it was suggested that i try going without it for awhile just to see how i would do. I just within the past week have them back in my arsenal again. I never noticed any bad affects from them. I never felt drugged, or not myself. But they did smooth out the rough edges, and  helped me to feel calmer. Thank goodness we live in the computer age now. You can research anything and everything on this magic box---even meds. Be cautious and careful with what you're given. We've got your back here, AB.

one foot in front of the other...

Darrel

Thank you Darrel! 

[MartyT]

I hesitate to question or second-guess what you've been told by a therapist who has seen you in person, reviewed your personal history with you, and presumably based his/her recommendations on a thorough and informed assessment of your current situation and state of mind. Was this person a psychiatrist (that is, a physician who is licensed and qualified to assess your need for and to prescribe medication)? You don't say whether you were able to determine whether he or she has specialized knowledge, training and experience in working with grief and loss. That would be my only concern, as not all therapists are specialists in this particular field.

It may help for you to read these articles, including those I've listed at the base of each:

Seeing A Specialist in Grief Counseling: Does It Matter?

Are We Medicating Normal Grief? 

[kayc]

I'm glad you posted that Marty, because I am concerned too.  It's not good to be hasty about going onto antidepressants, unless it's for chemically based reasons, I don't see it as helpful in grief.  We NEED to go through our feelings, not numb them in order to process our grief.

You say you're seeing a therapist, but is it a GRIEF COUNSELOR?  They are not one and the same.  I hope you're seeing someone specially trained in grief that knows what they're doing with regards to your loss.

[AB3]

Marty and Kayc I'm not really sure if the therapist I'll be seeing specialize in grief, probably won't fully know until my appointment on Tuesday. The therapist I spoke with yesterday was just the one who did an evaluation on me and my current emotional state. I can understand why this is concerning this is all new to me so I'm not sure how to go about things. I'm hoping everything goes well because this is my last resort.

[MartyT]

I don't share my concerns in an effort to discourage you, AB, as I know that just seeing that intake person and scheduling your first appointment for this Tuesday took enormous courage on your part. I just want to encourage you to approach this as an educated consumer. You are newly bereaved and, difficult and painful as it is, you are experiencing many reactions that are typical of a normal grief reaction. Grief is not a pathological condition; it is a normal reaction to the death of someone dearly loved ~ and therapists who are unfamiliar with grief (including complicated grief) may misinterpret the signs and symptoms ordinarily experienced by a person in mourning. As a consumer of therapy, AB, you have every right to know what qualifies your therapist to be working with you and your particular symptoms and issues. This is not to say that the person you're seeing on Tuesday is not qualified. Just know that you have a right to ask him or her about his/her qualifications, and if you don't feel comfortable with or understood by this person, you can ask for a referral to another grief counselor or therapist who is qualified in that specialty.

I understand that all of this is new for you, AB ~ That's why I encourage you to read some of the articles I've suggested, so you'll be better informed as to what to expect and what to ask when you do meet with this person on Tuesday.

[AB3]

2 hours ago, MartyT said:

I don't share my concerns in an effort to discourage you, AB, as I know that just seeing that intake person and scheduling your first appointment for this Tuesday took enormous courage on your part. I just want to encourage you to approach this as an educated consumer. You are newly bereaved and, difficult and painful as it is, you are experiencing many reactions that are typical of a normal grief reaction. Grief is not a pathological condition; it is a normal reaction to the death of someone dearly loved ~ and therapists who are unfamiliar with grief (including complicated grief) may misinterpret the signs and symptoms ordinarily experienced by a person in mourning. As a consumer of therapy, AB, you have every right to know what qualifies your therapist to be working with you and your particular symptoms and issues. This is not to say that the person you're seeing on Tuesday is not qualified. Just know that you have a right to ask him or her about his/her qualifications, and if you don't feel comfortable with or understood by this person, you can ask for a referral to another grief counselor or therapist who is qualified in that specialty.

I understand that all of this is new for you, AB ~ That's why I encourage you to read some of the articles I've suggested, so you'll be better informed as to what to expect and what to ask when you do meet with this person on Tuesday.

I completely understand your concerns Marty and will take your advice. I believe you know best when it comes to this and have extensive experience. Thank you for all your help I definitely need it. 

[MartyT]

And you are worth it, my dear  ♥

[Marie Lee]

Hi AB...I was a strong opposer to meds for depression for years...

Then I figured out maybe I do need help...I did a lot of changing in my life...one was a mild dose of Zoloft...but that was before I lost Kev...I am still on same dosage...it has helped me, yes. 

Dont be afraid of meds, if you need them. Be careful as everyone has said.

Take care, Marie

[AB3]

34 minutes ago, Marie Lee said:

Hi AB...I was a strong opposer to meds for depression for years...

Then I figured out maybe I do need help...I did a lot of changing in my life...one was a mild dose of Zoloft...but that was before I lost Kev...I am still on same dosage...it has helped me, yes. 

Dont be afraid of meds, if you need them. Be careful as everyone has said.

Take care, Marie

Thank you Marie 

[kevin]

Friend of mine, after at least 6 months of anxiety, depression, and mood swings got prescribed Prosac at a low dosage . And is having success.....She is out walking 3-4 miles a day and looking great......some times meds work.

[kayc]

Nothing wrong with taking meds if they are prescribed for the right condition.  We're just saying that grief depression symptoms are not for the same cause as chemical imbalance and the treatment cannot be the same.  Unfortunately, most doctors don't know beans about grief and when they hear the depression symptoms are all too quick to prescribe medicine for depression!  However, with grief, we need to feel and experience the pain to process our grief and get through it, masking it with drugs isn't always the thing to do.  There are other ways to uplift yourself, prayer and meditation, exercise, eating healthy, expressing yourself, getting support and grief counseling, working through your grief.  When one doesn't do these things and merely pops a pill, their grief doesn't get dealt with.  Not only that, but I'd be concerned about the chemical changes in the brain from the medication that needn't be!

[AB3]

Still not sure how I feel about taking antidepressants but have a long history of depression and anxiety but I never got help for it. Now my depression and anxiety is compounded by the loss of my fiance, which the therapist knows from the evaluation. I'm guessing that's why she wants me to be put on medication along with therapy. But I'm not sure if it will help or not but for now I'm just going to see how therapy goes first. 

[kayc]

If you had it to start with, then you may need medication, your doctor should know.