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Parents do the understand


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I miss my grandma and I feel like there is something wrong with me. My mom said she was glad grandma was not in a nursing home for years (47 days). They lived with Grandma and saw her decline. I didn't, not as much. I seem to be the only person who cries over my grandma. There is literally no one I can talk to who understands. I miss the woman she was and the relationship we had.

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Your parents may miss your grandma but people grieve differently and not everyone cries.  Then too, it hits some people later rather than right away.  I know it helps if you can share your grief with someone. :(  We always miss them but we adjust little by little, it's a hard journey but doable.

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In addition, Liz, you're mourning a loss that is different from your mother's. The relationship you have with your grandmother is different from the one your mother had with her as her daughter. Thinking about and recognizing what was special about your grandmother and why you love her as you do will help you to understand why you miss her so much. You might even take some time to write a letter to your grandmother, telling her (and us?) all that you love about her. 

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it does.  I've come to the conclusion that with some losses, grief is forever, but the good news is it does not stay in the same intensity, and grief ever evolves, so it's a growing/learning experience as well as sadness.  In time (after I'd lost my husband), I learned to draw from his comfort and encouragement, it's as if I can reach down inside of me for him whenever I want or need.  I hope you'll find this true of your grandmother as well, it sounds like you were really close.

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Oh thank you Kay. I have heard people say that when someone passes they live in your heart.  I have never gotten that until my grandma passed. I feel like she is in my heart and I can pull up her smiling face. I really feel like she is with me, sometimes more than others. Thank you for what you wrote. It validates how I feel and gives me more understanding with feeling that she is close. I don't know if that makes any sense. But it helps so much to read what you write. And I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. 

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It does make sense, and I pray you will sense her with you through your life's journey.

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