Shock and Awe after two years...

[kayc]

Cookie,

I could have penned what you wrote, only I don't get to see or talk to my daughter much either.  I never would have foreseen that my life would turn out like this but it has.

[iPraiseHim]

Update:

After two weeks of frustration. I finally got my business computer online access problem solved.  A firmware update on the router blocked my access.  Linksys said I would have to pay them $30-100 to get it fixed.   NO... by Grace and persistence, I found a way. (Router is six years old... oh my!)

My Dad is diagnosed with Minimal Change Disease (MCD) is a kind of kidney disorder that can cause Nephrotic Syndrome. It is more common among teenager and children, especially these with age under 10.  My Dad said it was because he is becoming a child.  It is manageable with diet and a slight change in his medication.  Confusion and short term memory loss is more prevalent now. 

It rained here all day .. over 4 inches but nothing like Houston.

I'm at the three month mark eating Ketogenic and have lost 42lbs so I'm down a total of 82lbs.  I need to get some smaller size clothes now.  This is an amazing journey of grief and healing. I am still not hungry or craving foods.  I eat for fuel now.  I eat the meals I like within the guidelines.  - Shalom

[Widowedbysuicide]

It is encouraging to read your post George.  

I'm glad that among life's crappy things you are able to find good things too. I hope the diagnosis for your father assists in the return of some clearer thinking or at least to not say everything he does think ❤️.

You sound like you are feeling physically good with your eating plan and resulting weight loss.  Good for you!!

I don't do computer talk, that is my son's job, but I'm glad you were able to solve your problem and keep your money in your pocket.  For me there doesn't seem to be enough dollars to last the month.  I do not suffer, I am learning to be more selective about spending.

Weather here on the West Coast of BC is starting to cool down and I am looking forward to some drenching rains.  Much of the northern part of province is on fire and I pray for those people and animals as I do for those caught in the flooding in Texas.  My prayers are also for all of us on this journey too.

Be well, Marita

[Margm]

5 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

This is an amazing journey of grief and healing. I am still not hungry or craving foods.  I eat for fuel now.  I eat the meals I like within the guidelines.  -

George, I need to lose 50 pounds, at least.  Something in my head kept telling me all these years as long as I am not losing weight, maybe the cancer has not returned.  Well, the length of time I have lied to myself is ridiculous.  I've got to start back a walking regimen and the low residue diet can be fixed where it is not that fattening, but I sure have enjoyed ice cream and cheesecake.  Time to quit or think about my heart.  I admire you losing so much and know you feel so much better.

Marita, the west coast of BC sounds wonderful although today is cool in North Louisiana with Harvey remnants jumping all over our two states.  Poor Houston though.  So many deaths in Katrina but so far the loss of life for the damage that has been done is low.  Still, loss of life is grief for families and my heart is with them.  I will just have to imagine a crispy BC day.  

George, when I had cancer, the reason they sent me to MD Anderson was because I was a young woman with an elderly woman's cancer.  I won't tell you what I said about that.  I understand your Dad's joke.  I hope they bring it all under control.  

[kayc]

20 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

A firmware update on the router blocked my access.  Linksys said I would have to pay them $30-100 to get it fixed.   NO... by Grace and persistence, I found a way.

Wow, George!  I'm impressed!  I could use you here!  I've been having problems with Chrome (my favorite browser), my gmail is no longer working right and when I print to Bullzip (PDF on computer instead of physical printer) even though it's set to monochrome (black & white) it saves to color.    I've written on forums, no response.  I've been forced to use Edge but I don't like it because they don't have a way to sort bookmarks and I save and use them a LOT, it's essential I be able to find them.  So now I find myself going back and forth between browsers, annoying!

[kayc]

20 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

Confusion and short term memory loss is more prevalent now. 

I'm sorry to hear that, I'd thought perhaps he was beginning to experience some dementia, so this explains that.  I'm glad diet can help.
 

 

20 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

I need to get some smaller size clothes now. 

If you are in between sizes and need clothing, I've found it helps to buy a couple of favorite pieces you'll use a lot and fill in with clothing from a secondhand store like Goodwill or St. Vinnie's.  You'd be surprised what some people pass on!  No one wants to buy a whole wardrobe only to have to turn around and do it again in a month or two.
I'm impressed with how much you've lost!  Marg, I'm with you, I needed to lose weight before my fall and instead I've gained more.    It's daunting.

[Margm]

4 hours ago, kayc said:

I've found it helps to buy a couple of favorite pieces you'll use a lot and fill in with clothing from a secondhand store like Goodwill

I order my clothes, I have found some that I like from a "woman's" store online.  Sometimes you can get them as cheap and cheaper than Walmart if you use certain codes offered, but some of my favorite clothes came from Goodwill.  In fact, I have about six blouses/shirts that are the only ones I will wear if I want to get away from my Tee shirts.  Strangely, they are all made by the same company, all different colors, all same style, and I love them.  The thrift store in Mount Ida had pants for 50 cents and on sale days you could buy blouses and pants for half that price.  Money went to the nursing home and they were all volunteer women that did all the work in the store.  They had men's suits for $5.  I would always give them a larger bill that required change and donate the change.  Never could find clothes for me but found them for my son.  Luckily, everything I buy for myself stretches.  It has to.

[iPraiseHim]

Kayc,

I'm sending continual interceding prayers for you and all of those in the area of these winds and fires. You definitely have a challenging time with the weather.One of my aunts are also dealing with these fires in California.  

Praying for peace and safety for all of those in the path of hurricane Irma. I have friends on the Florida gulf panhandle. And if the hurricane turns eastward my family and I may be in the path of the storm.  Watch, plan, prepare, and live in each moment and pray for God's Peace. Another intense week for weather. - Shalom

[kayc]

We're all praying for rain! Thunder & lightening predictions...we don't need that!

[Gwenivere]

Same here in Washington state.  It's been dry so long and fires are out of control.  Seattle is in a haze.  Yesterday the atmosphere was yellow, oddest thing I've ever seen.  We are getting predictions of meager rain, but lightning too.  Other members are in Florida too.  

[kayc]

Gwen, sounds like your predictions are the same as ours, we want the rain but not the lightening!  I'm quite worried about our members in Florida!  I hope they check in and let us know how they're doing.

[MartyT]

Florida is in preparation mode. We here in Sarasota (that is, those of us who are further enough inland so as to be outside the flood zone) are most concerned about high-wind damage. We're removing or tying down anything in yards and on patios and lanais that could come loose, stocking up on bottled water and supplies, etc. My biggest concern is a power outage. If that should happen, I'll do my best to forewarn you ~ but if we lose power as a result of this storm, I may be unable to get online for a time.

This is from the national weather service for southern Florida:

Event:

Hurricane Watch

Alert:

...HURRICANE WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT... * LOCATIONS AFFECTED - Wellington - Lion Country Safari - Belle Glade - Pahokee * WIND - LATEST LOCAL FORECAST: Equivalent Cat 2 Hurricane force wind - Peak Wind Forecast: 90-110 mph with gusts to 140 mph - Window for Tropical Storm force winds: Saturday afternoon until Monday morning - Window for Hurricane force winds: Sunday morning until early Monday morning - CURRENT THREAT TO LIFE AND PROPERTY: Extreme - Emergency planning should include a reasonable threat for major hurricane force wind greater than 110 mph of equivalent Category 3 intensity or higher. - To be safe, aggressively prepare for the potential of devastating to catastrophic wind impacts. Efforts should now be underway to secure all properties. - Extremely dangerous and life-threatening wind is possible. Failure to adequately shelter may result in serious injury, loss of life, or immense human suffering. - POTENTIAL IMPACTS: Devastating to Catastrophic - Structural damage to sturdy buildings, some with complete roof and wall failures. Complete destruction of mobile homes. Damage greatly accentuated by large airborne projectiles. Locations may be uninhabitable for weeks or months. - Numerous large trees snapped or uprooted along with fences and roadway signs blown over. - Many roads impassable from large debris, and more within urban or heavily wooded places. Many bridges, causeways, and access routes impassable. - Widespread power and communications outages.

[kayc]

Marty, you are preparing for the worst and hoping for the best, which is all anyone can do.  We pray for safety for all.

[iPraiseHim]

Thinking about my younger brother, Patrick, today. It was his birthday.  He died eight years ago.

[Gwenivere]

I'm so sorry, George.   I know dates of people I lost hit me harder now.   We've been stripped of all protection now.  There is no buffer left.

[Gin]

These days are so hard, George.

 

[kayc]

I'm sorry, George.  I haven't lost my siblings yet, nearly lost two a few years ago, but I'm sure when it's happened those dates will be hard for me.  

[iPraiseHim]

On my last visit with my Dad, he brought up for the fourth time, how his home will be going to my sister since she has a family and I do not (No family since I have no children).  He informed that all of his insurance policies will go to her as well. 

I am/was not expecting to derive a benefit from his death but changing his executor to my sister and now his home continues to bug me.  I have contemplated and prayed over this for a couple of months and decided that no matter what he decides I will just continue to love and honour him as my father.  He is incapable of knowing/understanding how his words and actions affect me and others.  I've learned this from years of being his first-born son.

I think I have figured out a solution!

I am going to find a lady who has children and marry her so I can be added back to his will.....  (just kidding!)  This is just my sense of humour in dealing with this situation.  I plan to visit my Dad this Wednesday for dinner and fellowship. I try to see him at least once a week and talk to him almost daily.

Shalom

 

[MartyT]

George, my dear, I admire your grace and maturity in how you've chosen to handle this situation, as you continue to honor this man as your father. I know it must feel terribly unjust and unfair that your dad chooses to see things this way ~ but in a way it's an indication of your father's recognizing and acknowledging you as the son he raised to be strong, independent and capable of standing on his own two feet. On some level, he must be very proud of the man you have become, and I hope you can take some pride and satisfaction in that. I hope too that you will keep your sense of humor and hold on to that very positive attitude of yours. You are an inspiration, and I so admire you for that.  ♥

[Widowedbysuicide]

You really are a great man George.  There are times when having your grace sure would keep me from having to apologize or explain some of my comments and decisions.

Take care of yourself. 🙏

[kayc]

23 hours ago, iPraiseHim said:

I am going to find a lady who has children and marry her so I can be added back to his will.....  (just kidding!)  This is just my sense of humour in dealing with this situation.

In my family we heavily use humor to get by, sometimes when it even sounds sick.  Sometimes others around us don't get it, it seems like it's a club my sisters and I belong to.  We got that humor from my dad.

I do understand your pain, it's not about the $, it's the slight from your own dad, the feeling you don't count.  I got that from my mom, she left everything to my brother and nothing to us five girls.  We didn't count because we were "just girls".  My brother was the last, the youngest, he was adopted...amazing how us girls could be there for my mom all her life but we didn't matter.  It hurts, I don't know any other way to put it.  I have gotten by all my life without her help, I don't need her things and somehow I've made do without inheriting $ from anyone, but to be discounted because you're "just a girl" or because you don't have a wife and kids to leave something to, that's just so wrong!  I know your dad is beyond getting it, just as my mom was, just know that someone out here understands and cares, and I think you're pretty terrific and you matter!

[Widowedbysuicide]

I agree @kayc

[Margm]

My mom always told me that she gave so much to my sister because I had Billy and my sister had no one, and she still has no one, that is how she wanted it.  But, I never really cared.  I loved my job so much that sometimes I was working at three different hospitals a week.  Also, we both would be taken care of after retirement, and Billy had 17 years of retirement.  I worked cause my work was more a hobby.  I did not care what my sister received, after all, she had no one else.  Before Mama passed away I signed everything over to her.  Nothing I want except Billy, and that is a futile want.  George, I knew my mom never "thought right" and your dad might just have lost his way awhile back.  I lost my way awhile back and happiness does not sit on my shoulders or sane thinking go on between my ears.  Your dad, probably lost your mom a few years back, and I doubt his thinking is clear or if it ever will be. 

[iPraiseHim]

I continue to lose weight healthfully and learning more each day about living healthier. I just finished reading another book,"The complete guide to fasting" by Dr. Jason Fung.  It discusses therapeutic uses of fasting to lower insulin levels, reverse diabetes, increase your metabolic rate, heal the body,autophagy, and increase  our production of human growth hormone to reduce pain and inflammation.

I have been naturally intermittent fasting (16hrs/day) for a couple of months with no hunger/cravings. It helps to heal the body.  I successfully completed a 36 hour fast over the weekend. and fast today for 24 hours. My plan id to continue fast for 24 hours every other day and IF (16hrs 1-2 meals) in between with a 36 hour fast on the weekends as time permits.  It frees up a lot of time cooking and preparing meals.  I have lost 90 lbs and 8 inches from my waist.  I need to shop for some clothes... my winter coat is way too big now.  My mental image/physical image  of myself doesn't match. I'm thankful yet it is surreal. 

PLEASE pray for my friend's grandson, Easton.  He is almost a year old. He had  a liver transplant three months ago and was improving so they sent him home.  Today they are returning to Duke University because his numbers are not good.  Apparently fighting an infection.  Thank you.  - Shalom

[MartyT]

Prayers for Easton, George ♥