Jump to content

Recommended Posts

AB3   

Some days and some moments I can fool myself into thinking Im ok that I will be ok. I haven't cried in awhile and I've been standing stong. I've even smiled and laughed a few times here and there. But today it all came crashing down and reality started to creep it's way back in. Today I found out a close family friend of my fiance....someone who he mentor and spoke of often passed away, she was only 19. It's really unbelievable to me but it shouldn't be.....I shouldn't be surprised by any of this by now. We are here today and gone tomorrow and there's nothing we can do about it so why am I laying here in tears??

I made the mistake of going through old pictures of us which I think only made this day and the horrible news of this beautiful young girls passing worst. But there was a time where we were all happy and alive....and living.....I don't want to forget that but then I do because it's too painful to remember. 

I'm sorry I'm all over the place right now with this post.....just needed to vent....it's been a day.....it's been a life.....

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
kayc   

This morning I was sobbing because my son-in-law left my daughter, destroying all of her memories with him...their wedding day, anniversaries, all of the I-love-yous.  Memories of just hanging together, getting their cats, all of the everydayness of married life.  Years of being there for each other.  How head-over-heels he was for her, how he tried to win her.  And all of it is now dust.  And I wonder that she wouldn't be better off if he'd died instead of left her because then her memories wouldn't have been destroyed for her like someone had vandalized them.  And I'm horrified for even having that thought because I love him and don't wish him dead.  There are no answers, my heart is just broken and I realize how lucky I am that my husband never quit on me, he just died.  Something that's not his fault, it just happened, but our love remains.  I have more than she does, 17 years of her life down the drain, betrayed, rejected.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AB3   

Kayc. Im sorry your daughter is going through that and I know you don't wish him bad but I know it's got to be hard to see your child in pain. Life is just rough and painful those are the only words I can use to describe it.Guess the best years are behind us all....

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/21/2017 at 9:52 AM, AB3 said:

Guess the best years are behind us all....

I know some have come to find new things that can balance what we have lost.  People remarry or find someone they connect with, it's happened here to 2 people because of this board and a wonderful thing to see.  But for some of us, I think we have a gut feeling of our future and know that, yes, the best is over and will never come again.  That is the hard fight every day.   I have one more big loss to eventually face with one of our dogs eventually and then I will have totally lost the family I knew.  I know we never know, but I do feel when we get such a microscopic view of what made our lives happy with a certain someone, it can never be filled again.  This could be the thoughts of a very depressed mind, 3 years into this and seeing my attentions are now focused on how to deal with an aging body that, while no companionship is terribly lonely, I see no energy to even think about it.

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×