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Forgetting things, might be my problem right now


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“Forgetfulness is a form of freedom.” 
― Kahlil Gibran

I have to admit, I have played with my forgetfulness.  Sometimes, like looking for the nugget pendant and the "green" folder, it has become a troublesome riddle.  Surprises me that a show I saw last week, I will forget I saw it.  Oh, it will come back to me once I am in it. 

Honestly, I really have taken the notion of "fiddly-dee, I will think about that tomorrow"  But then I get asked "do you know where ?? is located" and the worse yet "do you remember.?"  Those two give me pause for concern.........and anger because I do not want to remember.  Bri plays little fun games with me.  A name I know one instant, two instants later I will forget and she gets tickled at the names I come up with.  No problem there.  

My granddaughter has to have her wisdom teeth removed.  I have taken her to two dentists with referrals to oral surgeons that Medicare/Medicaid that her mama carries will not cover it in this state past the 30th and now we have to go back to Arkansas..  Her mother let me call the oral surgeons here and then she told me that Bri had an appointment at a doctor in Texarkana.  Why did she let me call the doctors here if she had an appointment in Texarkana?  I asked her and she told me she had told me Bri had an appointment at this new doctor at 1:30 tomorrow and she had told me.  Daughter is heavily medicated for the dermoid tumors in her own head.  I honestly do not remember her telling me, and if she did tell me then why did she let me call the Louisiana oral surgeons?  

For a few minutes there I was/am really feeling like having a breakdown.  I have to hold myself together.  I cannot get her on my insurance because my daughter still collects money from SS for her daughter.  She is a student, and with this problem will not be able to finish this school semester but have been assured she will pick up right where she left off in September.  

My daughter said I forgot because I was stressed.  Well I am stressed, my granddaughter is hurting.  But, I could hear the narcotics in my daughter's voice also.  If I was actually told, then something that important, if I forgot it, then I must really be losing it.  

I do forget things all the time.  Comical things.  Nothing so serious.  I would not let my granddaughter down by forgetting something this important, not to mention the fact that I am going to a part of the country I am not familiar with at all.  How could I forget something that important?

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I doubt very much that you forgot, Marg. As you said, why let you call local doctors if she already had an appointment elsewhere? I suspect that in this case, it is your daughter who "forgot" that she had failed to tell you about it.

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Marty, I am very forgetful about myself, but I never forget appointments and being on time for my granddaughter.  But, I cannot argue that I am an Einstein for remembering with my family, yet they all call me to put appointments in my appointment book I have kept each year for years and years.  I cannot argue my forgetfulness, but I will not forget any obligations I have for this child.  Her mom's voice was slurred and I am sure she had had her pain medicine for the dermoid cysts.  She is a retired/burned out nurse and will not follow doctor's directions.  In fact, that was one of the main reasons we had Brianna, she had given her too much medicine one time and said she did not trust herself and did us.  Appointments, even for myself, are something I never forget.  

With Kelli's headaches and Brianna's headaches also, perhaps I am stressed, but I can handle Brianna and Kelli has a partner that monitors her every movement.  

I cannot argue my forgetfulness about some minor things, but something this important I know I am right.  

But, they all know I forget things, simple things and just don't care.  It does not bother me at all, but something serious............I have not forgotten.  But someone did forget to tell me.

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Marg,

When I read this, logic tells me that it was your daughter who thought she told you but didn't..me think the drugs affected her.  You're not losing it.

You are a sweetheart to take care of your granddaughter.  It seems she's being a casualty of our system.  That she can't get covered because your daughter draws $ for her but isn't taking care of her, you are, that's not right.  You should be getting the $ for her, not your daughter, and then if you choose to share it with your daughter, that's your business, but your granddaughter should be able to be covered on your insurance, she shouldn't have to have her schooling interrupted because of a medical need that can't be immediately addressed.  I'm so sorry for her and for you who cares for her!

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I've never considered the money she gets for her.  I always thought it was a privilege to take care of her, not a real obligation.  It gives me reason to get out of bed in the morning.  When I hear people talk about getting money from "the system" to take care of foster children, now that bothers me very much.  There are so many people that are different than we are.  Mama always said (I quote Mama a lot), "everybody is crazy but me and thee, and sometimes i worry about thee" and some of Mama's quotes came from the poets, from Shakespeare, and from the Bible.  Sometimes I would get them mixed up.  

Can you imagine people taking in children as a way of "making money?"  I cannot.   But there are some  people who will take the money for themselves and the child is left with nothing but selfish people who use the system.  A system that is so overworked that these children are overlooked.  Children grow into adults with problems.  I know this.  Lord help me to save just one and make life easier for that one.  I know my limitations.  But, the love I have for this one knows no limits.  

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The money is not the point.  If you had custody, if the money went to you as such, YOU could put her on your insurance!  (You could always pass money your daughter's way if she had need of help).  It's your granddaughter that needs help and she is the one that should be the focus.  Her mom is a grownup, her daughter should be her first consideration.  I'm glad you have your granddaughter and do consider her first.

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She will be 18 in July.  I have everything but legal custody, but even at that if it came to police interference, the police would side with the 17 year old. (We have been to the sheriff's department).  I don't need the money, but the insurance, Medicaid/whatever it is called, will be changed to mine in July, when she is 18, only it is my insurance we have had since 1961, not Medicaid.   She is still a student too.  

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