It's been 7 years

[InMemoryofKatherine]

 

Hi all,

First time being here. Thanks for having me. It's been 7 years since my mom passed suddenly. She was my comfort, my rock, my best friend. 

Ever since she passed, I have felt alone. I do have other family, a husband, but still...I feel alone and lost. Any advice you can offer to help me through this empty void?

 

Many thanks,

Kristy

[Sweetwater]

Hi Kristy,

I lost my Mom 3 years ago, and I don't think we'll ever get over it totally, we'll just likely learn to live without her. 

I miss my Mom every day, she too was my rock, my lifeline, my support.  I lost my best friend, so now, when I need to talk to her, I just do.  I've reached a point where I KNOW she's around me... I get 'my' signs, and I'm sure you have yours and you have to know that she's there, and she hears you... I do believe you have your best friend very close by... talk to her, and you shall see the results.   The feeling of being lost and alone is natural, I still feel that, but now I feel stronger.. somehow, believing and knowing she's close by.

Take time for yourself... it will help and ALWAYS talk to your Mom.

Wishing you the best.

Sweetwater

[kayc]

Kristy,

I'm afraid Sweetwater is right...we don't "get over it", we just learn to live with it.  Grief changes us, it changes our lives.  It hasn't all been bad for me though, it has helped me practice living in the present, and appreciating what is rather than solely lamenting what isn't, it's changed my focus, made me more compassionate, helped my perspective as to what's important, what isn't, etc.  But if I could have my loved ones back I'd still choose that any day!

[InMemoryofKatherine]

Thanks ladies. It's effected my life by having anxiety too.

Thanks for your replies

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry for your loss, my dear, and as a bereaved daughter myself, I certainly understand the void that you describe. We only have one mother, and when she is taken from us, no one else can fill the role she played in our lives.

I invite you to read this article, in hopes that it brings you some small measure of comfort: Parent Loss: Continuing Their Song.

You might find this one helpful as well: Anxiety Attacks in Grief: Tools for Coping  ♥

[kayc]

I think anxiety comes with grief, at least it does for many of us.  I'm glad Marty posted that link for you and hope you will read it.  I hope you'll see your doctor about it too.  I have had GAD all my life and finally got help for it a few years ago.  I researched different medications and found one in a class all of its own that doesn't present me with side effects, and it just takes the edge off the anxiety so I can cope better.  It doesn't mess up my brain or make me a zombie, I didn't want one that would numb me, I still want to feel, I just want to be able to cope better.  Buspirone (Buspar), I'm on the lowest dose.  Sometimes I think I'd be better off with a little more but I try to get by with the lowest dose and most of the time it's all I need.  You might want to talk to your doctor to see if something would be of help to you.  Arm yourself with information before you go in though, read about the different medicines there are so you can know what he's talking about...my doctor prescribed Valium at first and after three days I went back and said no way!  It makes me too tired, too loopy, no way can I live with that.  That's when I told him what I want.