When Family Members Fail You....

[kevin]

Had a girlfriend once and she said....kissing you is like kissing an ashtray....Didn't quit, chewed gum...Had few acquaintances that quit all kinds of dope, but could never shake cigarettes.....took me three attempts......took Angela one..But in her final year she would point it out to me the "smoking" areas, and said, sure to miss those days...( we were all Superman)

[mittam99]

Welhusen, I'm very sorry for your loss and sorry I'm late to respond. 

Family... 

Yes, you would think of all people in your life, family would be the most supportive. The most caring. Blood is thicker than water and all that. But the truth is, they're no different than anyone else when it comes to handling someone else's grief. The fact is, they haven't a clue about the depth of your loss. Simply can't comprehend it. They just don't get it.

I know how hard it is to deal with this lack of empathy from family. I've lived through it. My wife Tammy was my everything. When she died unexpectedly on March 6, 2015, my world turned into a very sad, dark place. And I felt so alone. Family members were kind early on but after a while they do expect you to "get over it". Once I realized how clueless they were, their ridiculous comments became less troublesome. I knew not to look to them for any emotional support.

All you can really do is take a day at a time. Try to figure out what will get you to the next day. It's so very hard and you do need to find a support system. What's great about this forum is that people here do understand and do want to help. It's a very good resource. An empathetc "grief family" if you will.

Mitch