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3 losses in 4 years


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I lost my mom, my dad, and my brother in just 4 years. I feel numb. It's all surreal and I am disconnected from reality. Losing my mom is so different from the other deaths as she was the closest person to me in this world and I am so lost in the darkness. I just can't believe this is what's happened to my family. I'm so alone. 

 

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I'm sorry, Louise.  That IS a lot to try to process. :(  I just read about someone else who had lost everyone in their family, one at a time, in a very short period, they're the only one left.  That is so hard!  I've lost my parents and my husband, and I know my siblings will start going just around the corner.  It's hard to face that fact, I try not to think about it but I know there will come a day when I have no choice but to face it.  The one I'm closest to lives here in town with me, and she's the one that doesn't take care of herself and will likely go first.

You haven't mentioned if you have any supportiveness from friends, but that's the one thing I'm working on developing because I know I need it.  I've joined some small groups and am active with others so I can work on developing relationships outside of family.  My heart goes out to you.  I know when I lost my husband it felt surreal, for a very long time.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I remember when my dad died. I walked out of the hospital and life was going on all around me like usual. It felt so odd. My whole world had changed in an instance and nobody even noticed. It was surreal. I was 26. After taking care of my mom for eight years and spending the last eight days of her life with her at the Hospice House, never leaving her side, I felt so alone as I watched them wheel her away. I remember thinking that no one would ever love me the way she did. There's something different about losing your mother and there's something different when both your mom and dad are gone. That was almost five years ago and, although I've learned to live with her not being here, I miss her more now than ever. She'd give you the shirt off her back, literally, if you liked it :), and her eyes always lit up when she saw me. She was a very strong Christian woman and the one thing that has comforted me is knowing I will see her again. :) Have you ever heard of GriefShare? It's a nationwide program so there may be one in your area. It really helped me and I think it can help you too. It put me in touch with other women who were going through a loss similar to mine and all the emotions that go along with that. It made me realize that I wasn't alone at all. It also gave me the tools and resources I needed to start the healing process. I highly encourage you to check it out. I also talked to my pastor and saw a Christian counselor. Both were supportive and sometimes I just needed to talk. Have you considered seeing a local pastor or a counselor? You have been through a lot! and my heart goes out to you my friend. Hang in there! and know I will be keeping you in my prayers this week.

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I don't think we ever stop missing our parents.  It's evident if after five years, you're on a grief site.  Thank you for sharing.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi.I so feel your pain.I just lost both parents in 14 months,my dad died less than two days ago,at 76.My mom was just 70, and as beautiful inside as out.She lit up every room she ever walked into,She was that amazing.She was my angel on earth.I hadn't talked to my dad in years but I talked to my stepmother for the first time yesterday and I do know now that he loved me as well as he was able to.But I cry now for the wasted years.My Grandpa has Parkinson's and my only sibling has Muscular dystrophy and is wheelchair ridden.I worry everyday about losing them to

 

Losing your  bff,your mom, is a pain like no other.My sympathies to you.

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