brat#2 Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 2ND YEAR WITHOUT YOU My love, well it's been 2 years since I lost you and it hasn't gotten any easier. I'm still so lost, afraid, lonely, in pain both emotionally and physically without you. I miss absolutely everything about you. I miss being loved by you, miss worrying about you, miss being mad at you, miss you teasing me, miss your laugh and smile, miss your beautiful face, your loving eyes, your touch. I don't miss loving you because that is all I can do and I will love you for the rest of my life. I think of you every minute of every day and miss you every minute of every day. I wish I could feel safe again and I could feel you and your love again. I do think I feel your love sometimes and that is what keeps me going. You are in my heart and soul forever and I love you forever. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Joyce, I miss all those things about Al, also. I cannot believe that I have lived this long without him. In a couple of months, it will be 2 years for me, also. The loneliness is so debilitating. I have no desire to do anything! I am so grateful that I stayed strong enough to help him the last few months. I know that I could not do much now. Just getting the transport chair in and out of the car was hard. I know I would certainly try my best. I would give anything to be able to try. Thinking about you Joyce and hoping things get better for you...and all of us. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Joyce........I have no words that can truly express how hard I know this has been for you. You are a dear friend and it hurts to see a friends pain and know you can't do anything to ease it. I wish this hug could be real. ? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Joyce your love still loves you. I promise you that. All of our love us. From afar now. The missing will never go away. I'm so sorry for the pain in your heart. Hugs ❤️ Butch 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomPB Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Joyce, I feel your pain because it's my identical pain too. As others said, I'd give you a real hug if I could. That offer stands for any member of this club passing through Boston. Tom? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Joyce, your tribute to your beloved Dale is beautiful. You are in our hearts on this special day of remembrance. 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted July 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Hugs, Joyce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted July 14, 2017 Report Share Posted July 14, 2017 Thinking of you and praying for some moments of peace for your heart. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 14, 2017 Report Share Posted July 14, 2017 Joyce, I don't know how I missed this, I apologize for the late response...this can be so hard to get through, I wish only for peace for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 Thursday is Billy the Kid's birthday and our foremost thoughts would have been buying "the kid" the newest toy to play with. They all know I am a stuff shirt, (not sure what that means), but I sincerely do not want presents, to the point of "no, I don't want anything." Selfish of me, because Billy always wanted something. He could get so excited over line for his fly rod, and new flies were always welcome. Everyone loved buying for him. He started his "want list" right after the last gift giving holiday. I have a huge box of homemade and bought flies he never used. I will let the kids get rid of them cause I cannot. The two year mark is rapidly approaching in October. I marvel at the morning fear, terror I face just looking at the clouds. This has intensified, if anything. I have quit looking up so often and saying Billy please help me, cause I know I have to do it alone. My dad was the furthest thing from lazy of any man I have ever known, yet, he would teach Mama how to do things around the house. The pipes, wrenches, screw drivers, Phillips screw drivers and all other things. If I hit the nail on the head with the hammer, I think I need some sort of award. This morning I took a half a Xanax because I had to get out of the house. I did okay. I found the places I had to go. I even found a $7 check from something that I put in savings at the bank. Hooray, I now have $12 in savings. One of my close relatives is living in abject poverty, did get food stamps and I give $50 often. It takes about $3000 that I cannot come up with to get her on her feet. Legal fees. In the meantime she won't ask for nothing, her dog got out and later she heard gunshots and knows she is dead. Animals when they are ill will go off by themselves and she cannot afford to take her to the vet. I know she is sad. If I could get her on her feet she could do the rest. I have got to come up with some idea, some help. She does not take free help from others very well, will turn them down. Will take it from me. I cannot save it, someone else strips/needs it first. (Not my granddaughter). Son has CT on the 31st. They have to watch him close for liver cancer. Daughter still having chemo for teratomas on her brain. If Billy was here he could share the worry, but he could not do anymore than I can, but just having him hold me would help. ..........promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep. RF 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 19, 2017 Report Share Posted July 19, 2017 16 hours ago, Marg M said: I even found a $7 check from something that I put in savings at the bank. Hooray, I now have $12 in savings. Don't tell anyone, they might find a plan for it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 Joyce - A beautiful tribute- I can just feel your love and I know he does too. Hugs/ Marie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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