My 19 year old fur-baby is dying!

[mtnheart]

I rescued Boi from a shelter ten years ago.  He was already about nine years old and was considered hard to adopt because of his age. I fell in love with him!  He came home with me and that night I noticed he was sneezing and dehydrated.  I stayed up all night giving him water by dropper. I took him to the vets the next morning and found out he had pneumonia. He would not take the antibiotic by mouth so he had to go to the vets daily for a week for a shot and feeding by syringe as he refused to eat voluntarily. 

It's hard to say who rescued who as he became my best friend during a difficult time in my life. 

Last week,  he had a seizure and has not been the same since. Any vets I called said it would likely be best to have him euthanized because of his age. I wasn't ready to do that. He seemed to recover after a while and ate and drank heartily. 

In the past few days he has taken a turn for the worse. Slowly losing his ability to walk,  use the cat box and even eat or drink without assistance. It's heartbreaking to watch him fail!  I sleep with him at night in my sofa as I don't want to leave his side. I don't want him to die alone. I am devastated!  I can't imagine life without him!  His meowls,  he's Siamese.  His nuzzling my feet and sleeping between my feet when I'm sitting. His gentle tapping on my leg to get my attention when I'm sitting and not giving him the attention he wants right then. His loving looks up at me. 

It's just too much to handle!  I knew this day would come,  sooner or later.  But,  knowing that doesn't change the deep,  overwhelming grief I feel. I'm missing him already and he hasn't passed yet. How will I ever manage to cope when the end comes? 

[Jeffrey S]

Hello, I am so sorry your fur baby is passing on. I truly know what you are going thru. My little baby girl (chihuahua) has bladder cancer and there is no cure.   After a year of chemo, now her kidneys are failing. When I found out, I wound up in the hospital. I had a bad breakdown. Don't let this happen to you. When we have the ability to love our pets as family members it hits us  much harder. People who don't understand will say "time heals everything." I wish I could take your pain away. The only thing I can say to you is what I am going to do. This may sound insane but it will help me survive.  When the time comes I will breath in her last breath and say In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti nocte animam tuam repetunt intra me. This is Latin which means " in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, I take you soul in me." When I pass on she will  pass on with me. I only hope this will help you as it will help me.  I do believe we will be with our loved ones when we pass. There is a wonderful poem that you should read. It's called "Rainbow Bridge." I believe it will help you. God bless. Jeff

[kayc]

I am sorry for your cat's health and impending death.  Anticipatory grief is very hard.  We all know we will likely outlive our pets, we wouldn't want them to outlive us as we wouldn't want them to be scared and wondering, yet knowing that does nothing to alleviate the pain we face as we have to let them go.  

Believing wholeheartedly that we will be together again helps me immensely and I pray that hope for you also.

Here is the poem Jeffrey was talking about, as well as the video that I find comfort in. 
 

 

[MartyT]

Your kitty is absolutely beautiful, mtnheart, and I'm so sorry to learn that he is dying. I invite you to read this article, in hopes that it will speak to you in a helpful way: Anticipating the Death of A Cherished Pet ~ and please know that we are thinking of you and your beloved Boi with caring hearts. ♥

[Maylissa]

mtnheart, yes, anticipatory grief is HORRIBLE. And your Boi's story reminds me of my own fur-boy's. (has anyone checked him for a cancerous condition??) My furchildren also had a lot of Siamese in them (within unknown/mixed bloodlines), so I know how imagining the loss of those heavenly characteristics is just UNimaginable!

Too many vets these days throw in the towel just because of myths about "age"...both for humans and non-humans. It disgusts me no end, as if life is just that cheap. Maybe keep trying to find a different, HOLISTIC &/or homeopathic vet who is willing to work with you and not just give up all hope too soon. I managed to keep my fur-daughter going (with failing kidneys & likely more we didn't know about) until she was 19 yrs, 7 months, with excellent homeopathic care (Dr. Don Hamilton, DVM) via distance appts, a local integrative vet, her "team" of specialists for her progressive conditions, and my own dedicated, natural home care, plus 2 meds we had to resort to in her final 3-4 months. I would have done ANYTHING I could have for her and her brother. 

Regardless of what else you might do, my best advise would be to be with your Boi as much as possible and in the most high-quality ways you can think of, no matter what happens. Try to not create scenarios to suffer heavy regret over later. And...get as many recordings of his beautiful voice while you still can!!!, plus videos and pictures galore!...things you will never regret having.

Hang in there as best you can...

[Broken heart and soul]

Dear Mtnheart,

I am so sorry to hear about the health problems your Precious Boi is going through ! He is beautiful and he reminds me of my Baby Pearl, my Siamese baby girl. I know how difficult it is when we see our Babies suffering. I am devastated because My Baby Pearl is gone, but she will live forever in my heart. I made the worst mistake of my life when I agreed with the vet to give her the rabies shot - it caused her to develop bladder cancer. I learned, after she had the shot, that rabies shot is dangerous to older Cats and Dogs. My Baby Pearl was 14 years old. And I am suffering for having made that mistake.

I wish Boi's health became 100% again, and he was back to being his old little self again!! I am keeping him in my heart and I will ask his Little Guardian Angel to restore his health!! But, the important thing is that you continue giving him all your love, as you have always done, and tell him you love him always and forever - he does feel your love for him!!

I wish you strength and know that we are here and we know how you feel!!

Monica