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Songs That Make Us Remember Our Loved Ones

28 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post

Hi All,

Has anyone ever heard a song and remember their loved one because of it... I know now that certain songs have done that for me... Like the song Yesterday by the Beatles was the song on the radio on the way to my grandmother's funeral... Bridge over troubled waters was playing the night my mom died in Las Vegas.... Titanic theme song by Celine Dion was the first song I heard when I found out about my dad dying... It is just so simple but hearing a certain song brings me to tears.... Does this happen to anyone else?? Shelley

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It does the same for me. i stopped listening for to music for the first 6mos since my mom passed. i just couln't hear it. i know just change the station, i decieded i will not listen to anything that will make me sad. Lori

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Starkiss, what an interesting topic you've brought up.

I'm sure most people experience this. Tanya and I met each other indirectly through similar tastes in music, so there are dozens of songs that trigger my memories due to shared experience, but there are other songs/lyrics that are evocative owed to the mood of the music or the subject of the lyrics. Music sure can transport you, can't it? Songs that bring me back to a particular time and place with Tanya elicit a mixed, bittersweet reaction in me rather than pure sadness--that tears through smiles experience I've become so familiar with.

I have always liked the song lyrics below (Alan Parsons Project: Time), but their meaning surely increased for me following Tanya's death. There aren't many songs that reflect uncertainty this poignantly.

Time, flowing like a river

Time, beckoning me

Who knows when we shall meet again

If ever

But time

Keeps flowing like a river

To the sea

Goodbye my love, Maybe for forever

Goodbye my love, The tide waits for me

Who knows when we shall meet again

If ever

But time

Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)

To the sea, to the sea

Till it's gone forever

Gone forever

Gone forevermore

Goodbye my friends, Maybe forever

Goodbye my friends, The stars wait for me

Who knows where we shall meet again

If ever

But time

Keeps flowing like a river (on and on)

To the sea, to the sea

Till it's gone forever

Gone forever

Gone forevermore

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Shelley, dear ~

For me, that song is You Needed Me, as sung by Anne Murray. Her recording of it came out in 1978, and I would hear it on the radio all the time as I was driving back and forth to my classes (I was in graduate school in New Jersey at the time.) My dear father died that year, on September 30, and from that day forward, every time I would hear the song again, I felt as if I'd been hit by a truck.

Eventually, however, it became for me my anthem to my father, and even today, whether I hear it sung or if I simply read the lyrics, it moves me to tears, because it speaks so perfectly of the relationship I had with my father. I've been without his physical presence in my life for nearly 30 years now, but it still hurts that he is not here with me, and I miss him with all my heart. He was my hero, my mentor, my teacher and my guide. He was a man among men. He was my Daddy.

You Needed Me

I cried a tear: you wiped it dry.

I was confused: you cleared my mind.

I sold my soul: you bought it back for me,

And held me up, and gave me dignity.

Somehow, you needed me.

You gave me strength to stand alone again,

To face the world out on my own again.

You put me high upon a pedestal —

So high that I could almost see eternity.

You needed me. You needed me.

And I can’t believe it’s you; I can’t believe it’s true!

I needed you, and you were there.

And I’ll never leave — why should I leave?

I’d be a fool,

‘Cause I’ve finally found someone who really cares.

You held my hand when it was cold.

When I was lost, you took me home.

You gave me hope when I was at the end,

And turned my lies back into truth again.

You even called me friend.

You gave me strength to stand alone again,

To face the world out on my own again.

You put me high upon a pedestal —

So high that I could almost see eternity.

You needed me. You needed me.

—Written by Randy Goodrum; sung by Anne Murray, © 1978 EMI Music Canada

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Music is definitely a memory trigger! I listen to it every night before I go to bed now. And some songs make me cry and some make me feel better. I've always loved music, but it seems extra important to me at this time in my life. Josh Grobans "To Where You Are" and "You're Still You" are definitely two of my favorites. I think music is very powerful medicine.

Hugs,

Shell

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Hi All,

Thank you for replying to this post, I really like music and eventhough there are songs that make us remember we can do this for the good memories we have of our loved ones... I really like Anne Murray so the song that you posted Marty I like alot... Take care and thanks for sharing everyone Shelley

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I definitely agree, My wife and I liked the same music, however the last 2.5 months shes been gone, I have been avoiding any MP3s with ties to her like the song "love song" from Tesla, that WAS our song :( , to painful still, interesting topic...

William

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Hi All,

Thank you for all your replies, I was all my way yesterday to see some very dear friends that I think I lost for a while but found again... I listened to a cd on the way while I was on the bus to the place I was meeting them at... The cd was full of church favorites of mine and as I listen to them I sat quietly on the bus and just let my mind wander and I went through so many memories that I guess I bury for awhile but they came back to me... Like the time my dad came over to pick me up and the tire of the car had a flat and it was raining and he fixed it in the pouring rain without any help as I stood somewhere dry to wait... I had forgot about all the wonderful things my dad had done for me and what a luck girl I was to have such a wonderful man to be there when I needed him... I was glad I was able to care for him as well as my mom before they both died.... I feel like I was able to pay them back a little for all the amazing stuff they had done for me... Take care Shelley

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Hello All,

I thought of another song that reminds me of how I felt sometimes while sitting with Tanya for those days and weeks in the hospital room. It isn't an exact fit for Tanya because she didn't have much fear about what was happening, nor did she often cry while in the hospital. Instead, the song really reflects my feelings and the subtle evolution in perspective that occurred while dealing with T's cancer, treatments, and death, as well as ideas of what I thought was important prior to these things versus what I learned through our ordeal. - Steve

(Hynde 1994)

Oh, why you look so sad?

Tears are in your eyes,

Come on and come to me now.

Don't be ashamed to cry,

Let me see you through,

Cause I've seen the dark side too.

And when the night falls on you,

And you don't know what to do,

Nothing you confess could

make me love you less

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad get mad,

Don't hold it all inside,

Come on and talk to me now.

Hey, what you got to hide?

I get angry too

Well I'm alive like you,

When you're standing at

the crossroads,

don't know which path to choose,

Let me come along, cause

even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Take me in into your darkest hour,

and I'll never desert you.

I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night

falls on you baby,

You're feeling all alone,

You won't be on your own,

I'll stand by you.

I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you

Take me in into your darkest hour,

And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you.

Hynde, C. (1994). I'll Stand By You/Last of the Independents, Sire / London/Rhino.

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When I Get Where I'm Going, by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton came out maybe a year before my daughter died and I knew the first time I heard it that I wanted it played at her funeral. She hated country music, but that song's central message was for the rest of us:

When I get where I'm going, there'll be only happy tears.

When I get where I'm going, don't cry for me down here.

On the 5-month anniversary of her death this week I was listening to the radio my husband had playing in the garage (I haven't been able to listen to the radio stations I always listened to since my daughter died), and I was thinking that I would like to hear that song. Only a couple of minutes later it started playing. I had a good cry as I listened.

I actually had a gifted pianist compose special music for my daughter. I sent him photos, and he used those to "tune in" to her spirit and create 30 minutes of haunting piano music just for her. I listen to that cd over and over and over. I think the right music can be very healing.

There is a beautiful book and cd set called Graceful Passages, A Companion for Living and Dying that mixes spoken word with music. Listening to that is comforting for me.

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Chandrasmom,

How wonderful, having music specially composed just for your daughter! I agree, music can be very healing. I've listen to it almost every night before I go to bed. The Brad Paisley song is beautiful.

Hugs,

Shell

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I have to tell this story as it brings me enormous relief every time I tell it. Not a typical bereavement song, but it has such power.

My mom had been in critical care in the hospital for several weeks, and I had just realized that she would never leave. I walked into the St Marys lobby, numb and shaky, and realized the music I was hearing was

I went to my knees so fast I had to crawl to a chair, and cried my eyes out for 20 minutes.

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you're far away dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating

And I'm wondering what you're dreaming

Wondering if it's me you're seeing

Then I kiss your eyes

And thank God were together

I just want to stay with you in this moment forever

Forever and ever

I don't want to miss one smile

I don't want to miss one kiss

I just want to be with you

Right here with you, just like this

I just want to hold you close

Feel your heart so close to mine

And just stay here in this moment

For all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

Cause I'd miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

I'd still miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing

I got up, washed my face, and went up and told my mom over and over all the things I had wanted to tell her through the years. She died a week later.

When I hear the song on the radio, I listen to it and let the tears flow. If my kids are with me, I explain to them why I am crying and that it's good to let the tears out for Grandma. Still have some tears right now!

Hearing the song in the hospital, I was able to let my emotions go, then get back to doing what I had to do for my mom and family. I'm glad it still makes me cry, as some days I need to break the numb feeling.

Thanks to everyone else who shared; I know I'm not the only one who was so powerfully affected by music.

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Not long after my dad died - maybe a month or so -

came out. I was driving home from a particularly bad day at work (just felt miserable & overwhelmed... ) anyways, I don't know if anyone else is like this but I always have my radio on... and sometimes it's just background noise, I don't actually *hear* what is playing... well this song came on & I had to pull over onto the shoulder of the road. Every single time I hear it, it brings me to tears & yet at the same time... I feel better for it. I feel as if my daddy was talking to me though the song.

Artist/Band: Canyon George

Lyrics for Song: I Want You To Live

Lyrics for Album: Somebody Wrote Love

When she got the news

The phone hit the floor

She fell to her knees and cried his name

He had just kissed her lips

And both of the kids

Their lives will never be the same

At the end of her hardest day

The only words she could say were

Chorus:

I want you to live, I want you to love

I wanna go back to the way it was

To hear you say my name again

I wanna see your smile again

I want you to live

Takes all of her strength to go through his things

It feels like she’s holdin’ him again

The letters he wrote the books that he’d read

and some of the shirts still have his scent

The picture in Florida

she holds to her heart and cries out loud

Chorus:

I want you to live, I want you to love

I wanna go back to the way it was

To hear you say my name again

I wanna see your smile again

I want you to live

Bridge

Lying awake in the middle of the night

Trying not to let the kids hear her cry

She prays for answer or some little sign

She closes her eyes

and swears she

hears him say

I want you to live, I want you to love

I want you to go on and not give up

I want you to live, I want you to try

I want you to know that I’m alright

I want you to fall in love again

I wanna see you smile again and again

I want you to live

I find that "Ticks" by Brad Paisley also makes me think of dad (to totally understand what I mean, you'd have to know my father... he loves country & is just a saucy bugger... the first time I heard that song I immediately thought "that's DAD!!") I also find "Amarillo Sky" by Jason Aldean makes me think of dad...

It amazes me sometimes the power that a song has over our emotions... how one chord, one chorus can just bring back a whole slew of memories

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I was driving my husbands car the other day and I hit the CD button, not knowing what was in there. A CD came on, one that I made with various songs that I liked to listen to. Well, I was instantly taken back to the week before my mom passed away. I brought these CD's with me to play in the rental car that I used when I went back east when I found out that my mom was in the hospital. It was fall and the leaves were amazing. I had a 20 minute drive to and from the hospital from my nieces house where I was staying. I played these CD's over and over. I hadn't listened to these CD's since and must have put them in my husbands car at some point and time. It was kind of bittersweet finding them again and listening to the songs. I actually felt the beautiful nature of the fall season, but also remembering why I was there at that time. I'm actually glad that I found them again. They are now back in my car and I find that I enjoy listening to them again! I thought I wouldn't, but I do...strange.

Take care...Lori

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Music can definitely bring back strong feelings. I have a few songs that have special meaning for me. For my dad it's "That's My Job" by Conway Twitty. That song is all about a father being there for his child and it hurts a little because he wasn't able to be there for me and my sisters. The song for my mom is "Love Me" by Colin Raye. That song came out shortly after my dad had passed away and instantly that was my mom's song to my dad. My sisters' decided to play that song at my mom's funeral and ever since then it always takes me back to the time when it was just my mom and us girls. Talking about it is bringing a tear to my eye right now. I also have a song for both of them. It is "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney. It helps me reminisce and it makes me wonder what things would be like if dad didn't get sick. I'm the youngest of four girls and i can't help but think if they would have tried to have that boy that they always wanted.

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It's so funny you mention that. Mom and I both loved music. I grew up listening to whatever good music station she tuned in to, and she taught me all the songs that went back to her time (at age 99 that's WAY back) but they were beautiful.

Sometimes, our market would have Sinatra music playing. Mom was alive at home with an Aide but as I walked the market aisles, that Sinatra music got to me, for some surprising, unknown reason, grabbing me and reminding me of Mom with a real heart-tugging sentimental feeling. This week, I heard it again, now that she was gone...and you know it hurt.

To top it all, I loved to sing and would often serenade Mom in her bed. We filmed a DVD in July/August of me singing anything going back to Mom's time that would trigger a memory. She'd sing with me! And at the end of so many songs, she'd say phrases like "oh, that was beautiful" as I believe she recalled the songs of long ago. One was more in our memory time frame (

). Saturday, I saw a rainbow here and recalled Mom and I singing that just weeks before. When I visit her grave, I always sing, the Italian song, "
- as I often did. *insert lump in throat here*

Only Child

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Only child,

How wonderful of you to sing to her. That brings tears to my eyes. I played Josh Groban for my mom. She and I both just loved his voice. The CD I have has a lot of songs that aren't even in English, but we loved listening to them anyway, even though we had no idea what the words were! He just has a phenomenal voice. Once a song is connected to a major event in your life, it will forever remind you of it. Strange how music works that way.

Hugs,

Shell

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My songs that has helped me is When I get where I'm going-Brad Paisley, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1i6xd9Wg50, Wind beneath my wings, and Have I told you lately that I love you- Rod Stewart. I sung this song to my son on his 18 birthday, his 19 birthday 2 months after he died, I played it at the cemetary for him. I will always play this for Sean every year. He used to say Oh! mom everytime it came on in the car and I would start singing it to him.

Wonderful, Wonderful, memories. This friday will be 7 months he has been gone!

God I still miss him.

Dolores (forever Sean's Mom)

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I have a hard time listening to music and people are so surprised as music means alot to me and I love to sing. It seems that every song brings back memories and make me cry, someday I will listen to it again. The song that means the most is by Bette Midler...You are the Wind Beneath my Wings, from the minute I heard that song for the first time, I knew that song was written for my Steve. I had my daughter do a beautiful printing of it off the internet with doves around it and had it framed along with our wedding picture in a diamond picture frame for his service. I now have a dove pendant that I wear around my neck with some of his ashes in it so as he is always with me wherever I go.

Love,

Wendy :wub:

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Mom and I used to watch old Audrey Hepburn movies on occasion. We were both big fans of her and would set up specific dates during the course of a month to sit down and watch one that we hadn’t seen before. I think we had gotten to "Paris When it Sizzles" before she died.

Well, at any rate I recently watched "Sabrina" by myself and really liked it. After it was over I looked over, thinking I would see mom there and ask her what she thought about it, but she wasn’t there.

So many things in my life lately have involved this specific brand of "irony". The night that the final instalmet of Harry Potter came out, I went to a local bookstore at midnight to get it (it's something we would have done together). When I got there I asked for my copy that I myself had reserved a few days prior under my last name. It turned out that mom had already reserved two copys for each of us a few months before that. I should have known she'd do that. she would have enjoyed surpriseing me with it.

Music, as with so many of you also has the same effect. I love classical music and always have. Mom was the only one who liked it in our family besides me and now whenever I hear a particular symphony or score I think of her and have to turn to turn it off.

Wendy, that's very sweet what you wrote. I did the same thing with my mother's hair. After she started chemo she had a shaving party with all of her friends from her work. During the party, I took and kept a small clip of her hair and put it in a small black box on my nightstand. I came across it recently actually while I was cleaning my room. I had completely forgotten that it was there.

Edited by northern duke

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It's always been sort of a sore spot with my family that I have no interest in any of todays popular music and I can't even stand background music when we're all together. I've explained to them over and over that with my hearing loss, music drowns out their voices, but I don't think they really understand.

Just before Christmas my middle granddaughter and I had a discussion about my seeming aversion to music. I explained that even though I hear the music just fine, the words are a jumble. If I'm going to listen to music, I'd prefer the older music whose words I know by heart. Then I told her how much I loved to listen to Johnny Mathis music years ago but I didn't mention any specific songs. She seemed to understand and we dropped the discussion.

For Christmas she surprised me with a Johnny Mathis CD and I was thrilled.

As usual I didn't listen to it with everyone here. The next time I went somewhere I took the CD with me and popped it into the cd player and prepared to enjoy the music in solitude. Suddenly this song came on and instantly reduced me to a blubbering idiot. I had to pull off the road to continue to listen to it. It was our song for the entire 53 years of marriage!

Last night after reading this thread I looked it up on the internet so I could share the Lyrics here. This is what I found to share!

Every single time I hear it, it still reduces me to a blubbering idiot but at the same time it's extremely comforting and often brings a smile through the tears. My Webpage

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Oh Tori

Thank you for sharing that. I had forgotten that song. It is so beautiful. Brought a fresh wave of tears on but it is comforting. Like a warm blanket.

Suzanne

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Hi Tori,

What a wonderful song it is so beautiful... My mom's song was bridge over troubled waters that is what I heard the day she died and My heart will go on was the song I first heard on the day my dad died... My first song that I heard when my grandma died was yesterday by the Beatles... Thanks for sharing Shelley

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The first time someone close to me died, it was my dad in 1981 and right around that time, George Harrison released "

In the months after my dad's death, I played that song over and over to remind myself that I would get through my loss and someday, I'd feel better.

The song goes like this:

Sunrise doesn't last all morning

A cloudburst doesn't last all day

Seems my love is up and has left you with no warning

It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass

All things must pass away

Sunset doesn't last all evening

A mind can blow those clouds away

After all this, my love is up and must be leaving

It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass

All things must pass away

All things must pass

None of life's strings can last

So, I must be on my way

And face another day

Now the darkness only stays the nighttime

In the morning it will fade away

Daylight is good at arriving at the right time

It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass

All things must pass away

All things must pass

All things must pass away

My dad's favorite song was "I Left My Heart in San Francisco," and to this day, a lump in my throat always comes back when I hear it. My mother didn't have a special song, but her favorite actress was Bette Davis. Every time one of her movies showed on TV, Mum and I watched it together. So now when a Bette Davis movie comes on, it's like receiving a message from my mother.

My husband and I had very different musical tastes. I often told him he was born 30 years too late, because he loved big band music and Dean Martin was his favorite singer. Bill would send me into giggles by going around the house singing his high school fight song or "Everybody Loves Somebody" in a really weird crooner-type voice. He really enjoyed making me laugh.

I had never heard

before, but when my niece played it at Bill's memorial service, that's when I broke down. It's still very hard for me to listen to that song. But I play it anyway because I feel closer to Bill when I do.

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Hi All,

Thank you all for all your replies, it is just wonderful how music means so much when remembering our loved ones... Take care Shelley

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