STARKISS Posted May 16, 2007 Report Share Posted May 16, 2007 Hi All, Has anyone ever heard a song and remember their loved one because of it... I know now that certain songs have done that for me... Like the song Yesterday by the Beatles was the song on the radio on the way to my grandmother's funeral... Bridge over troubled waters was playing the night my mom died in Las Vegas.... Titanic theme song by Celine Dion was the first song I heard when I found out about my dad dying... It is just so simple but hearing a certain song brings me to tears.... Does this happen to anyone else?? Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted May 16, 2007 Report Share Posted May 16, 2007 It does the same for me. i stopped listening for to music for the first 6mos since my mom passed. i just couln't hear it. i know just change the station, i decieded i will not listen to anything that will make me sad. Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted May 16, 2007 Report Share Posted May 16, 2007 Starkiss, what an interesting topic you've brought up.I'm sure most people experience this. Tanya and I met each other indirectly through similar tastes in music, so there are dozens of songs that trigger my memories due to shared experience, but there are other songs/lyrics that are evocative owed to the mood of the music or the subject of the lyrics. Music sure can transport you, can't it? Songs that bring me back to a particular time and place with Tanya elicit a mixed, bittersweet reaction in me rather than pure sadness--that tears through smiles experience I've become so familiar with. I have always liked the song lyrics below (Alan Parsons Project: Time), but their meaning surely increased for me following Tanya's death. There aren't many songs that reflect uncertainty this poignantly.Time, flowing like a riverTime, beckoning meWho knows when we shall meet againIf everBut timeKeeps flowing like a riverTo the seaGoodbye my love, Maybe for foreverGoodbye my love, The tide waits for meWho knows when we shall meet againIf everBut timeKeeps flowing like a river (on and on)To the sea, to the seaTill it's gone foreverGone foreverGone forevermoreGoodbye my friends, Maybe foreverGoodbye my friends, The stars wait for meWho knows where we shall meet againIf everBut timeKeeps flowing like a river (on and on)To the sea, to the seaTill it's gone foreverGone foreverGone forevermore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 16, 2007 Report Share Posted May 16, 2007 Shelley, dear ~ For me, that song is You Needed Me, as sung by Anne Murray. Her recording of it came out in 1978, and I would hear it on the radio all the time as I was driving back and forth to my classes (I was in graduate school in New Jersey at the time.) My dear father died that year, on September 30, and from that day forward, every time I would hear the song again, I felt as if I'd been hit by a truck. Eventually, however, it became for me my anthem to my father, and even today, whether I hear it sung or if I simply read the lyrics, it moves me to tears, because it speaks so perfectly of the relationship I had with my father. I've been without his physical presence in my life for nearly 30 years now, but it still hurts that he is not here with me, and I miss him with all my heart. He was my hero, my mentor, my teacher and my guide. He was a man among men. He was my Daddy.You Needed Me I cried a tear: you wiped it dry. I was confused: you cleared my mind. I sold my soul: you bought it back for me, And held me up, and gave me dignity. Somehow, you needed me. You gave me strength to stand alone again, To face the world out on my own again. You put me high upon a pedestal — So high that I could almost see eternity. You needed me. You needed me. And I can’t believe it’s you; I can’t believe it’s true! I needed you, and you were there. And I’ll never leave — why should I leave? I’d be a fool, ‘Cause I’ve finally found someone who really cares. You held my hand when it was cold. When I was lost, you took me home. You gave me hope when I was at the end, And turned my lies back into truth again. You even called me friend. You gave me strength to stand alone again, To face the world out on my own again. You put me high upon a pedestal — So high that I could almost see eternity. You needed me. You needed me. —Written by Randy Goodrum; sung by Anne Murray, © 1978 EMI Music Canada Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Music is definitely a memory trigger! I listen to it every night before I go to bed now. And some songs make me cry and some make me feel better. I've always loved music, but it seems extra important to me at this time in my life. Josh Grobans "To Where You Are" and "You're Still You" are definitely two of my favorites. I think music is very powerful medicine.Hugs,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted May 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 Hi All,Thank you for replying to this post, I really like music and eventhough there are songs that make us remember we can do this for the good memories we have of our loved ones... I really like Anne Murray so the song that you posted Marty I like alot... Take care and thanks for sharing everyone Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted May 22, 2007 Report Share Posted May 22, 2007 I definitely agree, My wife and I liked the same music, however the last 2.5 months shes been gone, I have been avoiding any MP3s with ties to her like the song "love song" from Tesla, that WAS our song , to painful still, interesting topic...William Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted July 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2007 Hi All,Thank you for all your replies, I was all my way yesterday to see some very dear friends that I think I lost for a while but found again... I listened to a cd on the way while I was on the bus to the place I was meeting them at... The cd was full of church favorites of mine and as I listen to them I sat quietly on the bus and just let my mind wander and I went through so many memories that I guess I bury for awhile but they came back to me... Like the time my dad came over to pick me up and the tire of the car had a flat and it was raining and he fixed it in the pouring rain without any help as I stood somewhere dry to wait... I had forgot about all the wonderful things my dad had done for me and what a luck girl I was to have such a wonderful man to be there when I needed him... I was glad I was able to care for him as well as my mom before they both died.... I feel like I was able to pay them back a little for all the amazing stuff they had done for me... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted July 10, 2007 Report Share Posted July 10, 2007 Hello All, I thought of another song that reminds me of how I felt sometimes while sitting with Tanya for those days and weeks in the hospital room. It isn't an exact fit for Tanya because she didn't have much fear about what was happening, nor did she often cry while in the hospital. Instead, the song really reflects my feelings and the subtle evolution in perspective that occurred while dealing with T's cancer, treatments, and death, as well as ideas of what I thought was important prior to these things versus what I learned through our ordeal. - Steve (Hynde 1994)Oh, why you look so sad?Tears are in your eyes,Come on and come to me now.Don't be ashamed to cry,Let me see you through,Cause I've seen the dark side too.And when the night falls on you,And you don't know what to do,Nothing you confess couldmake me love you lessI'll stand by you,I'll stand by you,Won't let nobody hurt you,I'll stand by you.So, if you're mad get mad,Don't hold it all inside,Come on and talk to me now.Hey, what you got to hide?I get angry tooWell I'm alive like you,When you're standing atthe crossroads,don't know which path to choose,Let me come along, causeeven if you're wrongI'll stand by you,I'll stand by you,Won't let nobody hurt you,I'll stand by you.Take me in into your darkest hour,and I'll never desert you.I'll stand by you.And when, when the nightfalls on you baby,You're feeling all alone,You won't be on your own,I'll stand by you.I'll stand by youI'll stand by you,Won't let nobody hurt you,I'll stand by youTake me in into your darkest hour,And I'll never desert youI'll stand by you.Hynde, C. (1994). I'll Stand By You/Last of the Independents, Sire / London/Rhino. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chandrasmom Posted July 13, 2007 Report Share Posted July 13, 2007 When I Get Where I'm Going, by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton came out maybe a year before my daughter died and I knew the first time I heard it that I wanted it played at her funeral. She hated country music, but that song's central message was for the rest of us:When I get where I'm going, there'll be only happy tears.When I get where I'm going, don't cry for me down here. On the 5-month anniversary of her death this week I was listening to the radio my husband had playing in the garage (I haven't been able to listen to the radio stations I always listened to since my daughter died), and I was thinking that I would like to hear that song. Only a couple of minutes later it started playing. I had a good cry as I listened.I actually had a gifted pianist compose special music for my daughter. I sent him photos, and he used those to "tune in" to her spirit and create 30 minutes of haunting piano music just for her. I listen to that cd over and over and over. I think the right music can be very healing.There is a beautiful book and cd set called Graceful Passages, A Companion for Living and Dying that mixes spoken word with music. Listening to that is comforting for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted July 14, 2007 Report Share Posted July 14, 2007 Chandrasmom,How wonderful, having music specially composed just for your daughter! I agree, music can be very healing. I've listen to it almost every night before I go to bed. The Brad Paisley song is beautiful.Hugs,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julienne Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 I have to tell this story as it brings me enormous relief every time I tell it. Not a typical bereavement song, but it has such power.My mom had been in critical care in the hospital for several weeks, and I had just realized that she would never leave. I walked into the St Marys lobby, numb and shaky, and realized the music I was hearing was I went to my knees so fast I had to crawl to a chair, and cried my eyes out for 20 minutes.I could stay awake just to hear you breathingWatch you smile while you are sleepingWhile you're far away dreamingI could spend my life in this sweet surrenderI could stay lost in this moment foreverEvery moment spent with you is a moment I treasureLying close to you feeling your heart beatingAnd I'm wondering what you're dreamingWondering if it's me you're seeingThen I kiss your eyesAnd thank God were togetherI just want to stay with you in this moment foreverForever and everI don't want to miss one smileI don't want to miss one kissI just want to be with youRight here with you, just like thisI just want to hold you closeFeel your heart so close to mineAnd just stay here in this momentFor all the rest of timeDon't want to close my eyesI don't want to fall asleepCause I'd miss you babyAnd I don't want to miss a thingCause even when I dream of youThe sweetest dream will never doI'd still miss you babyAnd I don't want to miss a thingI got up, washed my face, and went up and told my mom over and over all the things I had wanted to tell her through the years. She died a week later.When I hear the song on the radio, I listen to it and let the tears flow. If my kids are with me, I explain to them why I am crying and that it's good to let the tears out for Grandma. Still have some tears right now!Hearing the song in the hospital, I was able to let my emotions go, then get back to doing what I had to do for my mom and family. I'm glad it still makes me cry, as some days I need to break the numb feeling.Thanks to everyone else who shared; I know I'm not the only one who was so powerfully affected by music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clrw Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Not long after my dad died - maybe a month or so - came out. I was driving home from a particularly bad day at work (just felt miserable & overwhelmed... ) anyways, I don't know if anyone else is like this but I always have my radio on... and sometimes it's just background noise, I don't actually *hear* what is playing... well this song came on & I had to pull over onto the shoulder of the road. Every single time I hear it, it brings me to tears & yet at the same time... I feel better for it. I feel as if my daddy was talking to me though the song.Artist/Band: Canyon GeorgeLyrics for Song: I Want You To LiveLyrics for Album: Somebody Wrote LoveWhen she got the newsThe phone hit the floorShe fell to her knees and cried his nameHe had just kissed her lipsAnd both of the kidsTheir lives will never be the sameAt the end of her hardest dayThe only words she could say wereChorus:I want you to live, I want you to loveI wanna go back to the way it wasTo hear you say my name againI wanna see your smile againI want you to liveTakes all of her strength to go through his thingsIt feels like she’s holdin’ him againThe letters he wrote the books that he’d readand some of the shirts still have his scentThe picture in Floridashe holds to her heart and cries out loudChorus:I want you to live, I want you to loveI wanna go back to the way it wasTo hear you say my name againI wanna see your smile againI want you to liveBridgeLying awake in the middle of the nightTrying not to let the kids hear her cryShe prays for answer or some little signShe closes her eyesand swears shehears him sayI want you to live, I want you to loveI want you to go on and not give upI want you to live, I want you to tryI want you to know that I’m alrightI want you to fall in love againI wanna see you smile again and againI want you to liveI find that "Ticks" by Brad Paisley also makes me think of dad (to totally understand what I mean, you'd have to know my father... he loves country & is just a saucy bugger... the first time I heard that song I immediately thought "that's DAD!!") I also find "Amarillo Sky" by Jason Aldean makes me think of dad... It amazes me sometimes the power that a song has over our emotions... how one chord, one chorus can just bring back a whole slew of memories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriS. Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 I was driving my husbands car the other day and I hit the CD button, not knowing what was in there. A CD came on, one that I made with various songs that I liked to listen to. Well, I was instantly taken back to the week before my mom passed away. I brought these CD's with me to play in the rental car that I used when I went back east when I found out that my mom was in the hospital. It was fall and the leaves were amazing. I had a 20 minute drive to and from the hospital from my nieces house where I was staying. I played these CD's over and over. I hadn't listened to these CD's since and must have put them in my husbands car at some point and time. It was kind of bittersweet finding them again and listening to the songs. I actually felt the beautiful nature of the fall season, but also remembering why I was there at that time. I'm actually glad that I found them again. They are now back in my car and I find that I enjoy listening to them again! I thought I wouldn't, but I do...strange.Take care...Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostlamb07 Posted October 1, 2007 Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Music can definitely bring back strong feelings. I have a few songs that have special meaning for me. For my dad it's "That's My Job" by Conway Twitty. That song is all about a father being there for his child and it hurts a little because he wasn't able to be there for me and my sisters. The song for my mom is "Love Me" by Colin Raye. That song came out shortly after my dad had passed away and instantly that was my mom's song to my dad. My sisters' decided to play that song at my mom's funeral and ever since then it always takes me back to the time when it was just my mom and us girls. Talking about it is bringing a tear to my eye right now. I also have a song for both of them. It is "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney. It helps me reminisce and it makes me wonder what things would be like if dad didn't get sick. I'm the youngest of four girls and i can't help but think if they would have tried to have that boy that they always wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only Child Posted October 2, 2007 Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 It's so funny you mention that. Mom and I both loved music. I grew up listening to whatever good music station she tuned in to, and she taught me all the songs that went back to her time (at age 99 that's WAY back) but they were beautiful.Sometimes, our market would have Sinatra music playing. Mom was alive at home with an Aide but as I walked the market aisles, that Sinatra music got to me, for some surprising, unknown reason, grabbing me and reminding me of Mom with a real heart-tugging sentimental feeling. This week, I heard it again, now that she was gone...and you know it hurt.To top it all, I loved to sing and would often serenade Mom in her bed. We filmed a DVD in July/August of me singing anything going back to Mom's time that would trigger a memory. She'd sing with me! And at the end of so many songs, she'd say phrases like "oh, that was beautiful" as I believe she recalled the songs of long ago. One was more in our memory time frame ( ). Saturday, I saw a rainbow here and recalled Mom and I singing that just weeks before. When I visit her grave, I always sing, the Italian song, " - as I often did. *insert lump in throat here*Only Child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted October 2, 2007 Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Only child,How wonderful of you to sing to her. That brings tears to my eyes. I played Josh Groban for my mom. She and I both just loved his voice. The CD I have has a lot of songs that aren't even in English, but we loved listening to them anyway, even though we had no idea what the words were! He just has a phenomenal voice. Once a song is connected to a major event in your life, it will forever remind you of it. Strange how music works that way.Hugs,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolores (forever Sean's Mom) Posted October 4, 2007 Report Share Posted October 4, 2007 My songs that has helped me is When I get where I'm going-Brad Paisley, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1i6xd9Wg50, Wind beneath my wings, and Have I told you lately that I love you- Rod Stewart. I sung this song to my son on his 18 birthday, his 19 birthday 2 months after he died, I played it at the cemetary for him. I will always play this for Sean every year. He used to say Oh! mom everytime it came on in the car and I would start singing it to him.Wonderful, Wonderful, memories. This friday will be 7 months he has been gone!God I still miss him.Dolores (forever Sean's Mom) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted October 4, 2007 Report Share Posted October 4, 2007 I have a hard time listening to music and people are so surprised as music means alot to me and I love to sing. It seems that every song brings back memories and make me cry, someday I will listen to it again. The song that means the most is by Bette Midler...You are the Wind Beneath my Wings, from the minute I heard that song for the first time, I knew that song was written for my Steve. I had my daughter do a beautiful printing of it off the internet with doves around it and had it framed along with our wedding picture in a diamond picture frame for his service. I now have a dove pendant that I wear around my neck with some of his ashes in it so as he is always with me wherever I go.Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northern duke Posted October 4, 2007 Report Share Posted October 4, 2007 (edited) Mom and I used to watch old Audrey Hepburn movies on occasion. We were both big fans of her and would set up specific dates during the course of a month to sit down and watch one that we hadn’t seen before. I think we had gotten to "Paris When it Sizzles" before she died. Well, at any rate I recently watched "Sabrina" by myself and really liked it. After it was over I looked over, thinking I would see mom there and ask her what she thought about it, but she wasn’t there. So many things in my life lately have involved this specific brand of "irony". The night that the final instalmet of Harry Potter came out, I went to a local bookstore at midnight to get it (it's something we would have done together). When I got there I asked for my copy that I myself had reserved a few days prior under my last name. It turned out that mom had already reserved two copys for each of us a few months before that. I should have known she'd do that. she would have enjoyed surpriseing me with it. Music, as with so many of you also has the same effect. I love classical music and always have. Mom was the only one who liked it in our family besides me and now whenever I hear a particular symphony or score I think of her and have to turn to turn it off. Wendy, that's very sweet what you wrote. I did the same thing with my mother's hair. After she started chemo she had a shaving party with all of her friends from her work. During the party, I took and kept a small clip of her hair and put it in a small black box on my nightstand. I came across it recently actually while I was cleaning my room. I had completely forgotten that it was there. Edited October 4, 2007 by northern duke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tori Posted October 5, 2007 Report Share Posted October 5, 2007 It's always been sort of a sore spot with my family that I have no interest in any of todays popular music and I can't even stand background music when we're all together. I've explained to them over and over that with my hearing loss, music drowns out their voices, but I don't think they really understand.Just before Christmas my middle granddaughter and I had a discussion about my seeming aversion to music. I explained that even though I hear the music just fine, the words are a jumble. If I'm going to listen to music, I'd prefer the older music whose words I know by heart. Then I told her how much I loved to listen to Johnny Mathis music years ago but I didn't mention any specific songs. She seemed to understand and we dropped the discussion.For Christmas she surprised me with a Johnny Mathis CD and I was thrilled.As usual I didn't listen to it with everyone here. The next time I went somewhere I took the CD with me and popped it into the cd player and prepared to enjoy the music in solitude. Suddenly this song came on and instantly reduced me to a blubbering idiot. I had to pull off the road to continue to listen to it. It was our song for the entire 53 years of marriage! Last night after reading this thread I looked it up on the internet so I could share the Lyrics here. This is what I found to share! Every single time I hear it, it still reduces me to a blubbering idiot but at the same time it's extremely comforting and often brings a smile through the tears. My Webpage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted October 5, 2007 Report Share Posted October 5, 2007 Oh ToriThank you for sharing that. I had forgotten that song. It is so beautiful. Brought a fresh wave of tears on but it is comforting. Like a warm blanket. Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 Hi Tori,What a wonderful song it is so beautiful... My mom's song was bridge over troubled waters that is what I heard the day she died and My heart will go on was the song I first heard on the day my dad died... My first song that I heard when my grandma died was yesterday by the Beatles... Thanks for sharing Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyG Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 The first time someone close to me died, it was my dad in 1981 and right around that time, George Harrison released " In the months after my dad's death, I played that song over and over to remind myself that I would get through my loss and someday, I'd feel better.The song goes like this:Sunrise doesn't last all morningA cloudburst doesn't last all daySeems my love is up and has left you with no warningIt's not always going to be this greyAll things must passAll things must pass awaySunset doesn't last all eveningA mind can blow those clouds awayAfter all this, my love is up and must be leavingIt's not always going to be this greyAll things must passAll things must pass awayAll things must passNone of life's strings can lastSo, I must be on my wayAnd face another dayNow the darkness only stays the nighttimeIn the morning it will fade awayDaylight is good at arriving at the right timeIt's not always going to be this greyAll things must passAll things must pass awayAll things must passAll things must pass awayMy dad's favorite song was "I Left My Heart in San Francisco," and to this day, a lump in my throat always comes back when I hear it. My mother didn't have a special song, but her favorite actress was Bette Davis. Every time one of her movies showed on TV, Mum and I watched it together. So now when a Bette Davis movie comes on, it's like receiving a message from my mother.My husband and I had very different musical tastes. I often told him he was born 30 years too late, because he loved big band music and Dean Martin was his favorite singer. Bill would send me into giggles by going around the house singing his high school fight song or "Everybody Loves Somebody" in a really weird crooner-type voice. He really enjoyed making me laugh.I had never heard before, but when my niece played it at Bill's memorial service, that's when I broke down. It's still very hard for me to listen to that song. But I play it anyway because I feel closer to Bill when I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 Hi All,Thank you all for all your replies, it is just wonderful how music means so much when remembering our loved ones... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now