My Dear Brother, I Miss You
Posted 12 December 2011 - 06:25 PM
Posted 13 December 2011 - 12:56 AM
Its weird that today I was sharing with a friend something I posted here then I get the email that you added me. I havent been on here in a while. I cried when I read your post. Hard! I cant imagine that much loss in that amount of time april! I would have just lost it and been no good to the world. But you keep going. Thats awesome! We have similar stories of our lost ones. My cousin I mentioned losing was killed and left to die in a parking lot. No one should die in a parking lot or on the road. As far as our moms go its been 20 years since this old man lost his. I can still cry at any moment given the right memory of my momma. Just like I cried when.i was 11. We never get over it. We just kinda learn how to carry the heartbreak better and not be so confused all the time. And sometimes share with others like right here. And be here for others as well.
Posted 13 December 2011 - 01:07 AM
Posted 13 December 2011 - 02:48 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about your Brother. Life is just not fair sometimes, I know. But the fact that you are on this site, talking about it, shows that you are a fighter and that you are strong!! You can't ever allow this event, although a huge one, to define the rest of your life. You have a very bright future ahead of you, so keep doing what you are doing. It does get easier. Ben has been gone now for over a year and although I think about him everyday, the sadness and the grief in my heart is not as pronounced as it was. But if I allow myself to go to that dark place of remembering, it comes back and consumes me. I know my Brother and I'm sure your's, would want us living on productive lives, happy lives, knowing we will be reunited with them again, when the time comes. I will keep you in my prayers and ask for your peace and wellness. Kelzo
Posted 19 December 2011 - 03:49 PM
On November 4th of this year, my 45 year old brother died. He died alone, and police officials found him almost 4 years after he died. When my family went to go identify him, the medical examiner claimed he died of natural causes and gave a ridiculous explanation for my brother having a a swollen eye and blood flow on one side of his face. It was unfortunate that he died in Mexico, a country that clearly has become dehumanized. So we knew we could not get any justice for his death. There was a woman that had gotten involved with him. She was the one that contacted our family about his death. She claimed that she had already left him two weeks prior,but yet she knew one of our phone numbers. We question how that could be since my brother had his cell phone with him....too many questions unanswered. At least you know who killed your brother...the one that killed mine is roaming free. By no means does this make it any easier. This is the first sibling out of seven of us that I have buried. The holidays do not make it any easier. I am left with two elderly grieving parents and five nieces/nephews that miss their father everyday. I can't sleep...celebrating holidays does not have the same meaning for me. I use to love going to work, but now I resent it...no room for grieving. I think I have gone through all seven phases of grief simultaneously. Hearing people tell you that he is in a better place doesn't make it any better....there are times I am selfish, and I would rather have him here with my family. He lead a difficult and dangerous life...in part I understand that maybe this was best for him. But he did not deserve to be killed. God bless you and your family in your grief. I don't have the answers,and don't pretend to do so. I am still trying to figure all this out myself.
Posted 24 January 2012 - 10:37 PM
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