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      About Our Donation Button   08/10/2015

      While visitors are welcome to browse our forums and registered members are free to use all the features of our site, you will notice a Donate button at the top of every page, which gives everyone who comes here an opportunity to contribute toward its ongoing support. Members and visitors can donate as much (or as little) as they can afford, and as often (or as seldom) as they choose, either all at once or over an extended period of time (that is, a recurring amount automatically deducted from a credit card each month). Donations are accepted via PayPal, credit card or bank account (where available). The Donate button is located at the top of every page.  We are proud of the fact that, since it was launched in May of 2003, our Grief Healing Discussion Groups site has been advertisement-free and open to everyone, members and visitors alike, at no cost, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, offering the information, comfort and support we believe you need and deserve as you each find your way through your individual grief journeys. Unlike other self-help forums for the bereaved, our site is privately administered, closely monitored and professionally moderated to ensure the highest level of quality, safety and security for our participants. Every post is reviewed and read by our moderator: a nationally certified grief counselor who visits the site several times a day, and who feels a deep personal and professional responsibility to monitor our site in a way that encourages understanding, growth and healing. Our site has been described by the caregivers and bereaved who come here as a lifeline ~ a safe place to land when you need to be with others who “get it” and who understand. We know from your unsolicited comments and continued active participation that this is an important and valued service. Still, it costs money to sustain this service, and many hours a month to administer and moderate the site. We are deeply grateful to our regular donors and to all those who have contributed, but we think you should know that it is the same half-dozen people who continue to give. Some members have donated far more than their fair share, and they’ve done so more than once.  Grateful as we are for their loyalty and support, we hope you will agree that it’s not fair that so few of our members have been carrying the weight for so many, who clearly have derived some benefit from our service. For this reason, we are asking for your consideration. If you donated some time ago, would you consider doing so again? And if you’ve never done so, would you consider making a contribution of $20 or more? You can rest assured that your gift will be used directly to fund this service and to keep it going. With heartfelt gratitude, Marty Tousley ♥    

Dad In Chf, 10% Function

1 post in this topic

My dad has been in congestive heart failure since a massive stroke he had 5 years ago. The stroke caused an atrial fib in his heart, so the bottom half of his heart quit working. After 3 years of CHF, they installed a pacemaker and defibrillator to regulate his heart. The defibrillator shocked him b/c his heart rate got too high--it went off every few months for over a year, until I finally bought him a runner's heart rate watch and so no he monitors his heart rate to keep it from getting over 200, which is the shock point.

One month ago, after a routine ECG they do quarterly to check on his heart function, they found that he has a large blood clot in the left side of his heart, and his heart function had dropped to 10%. They put him on blood thinner to dissolve the clot, but they said if it gets too thin and dislodges and moves into the blood stream, it could potentially be fatal. His heart DR said only clots in the right side of the heart can flow to the brain and cause stroke, but that's not to say that a left side clot can not be dangerous or fatal.

Meanwhile he's got symptoms of colon cancer, but his heart DR won't even let him proceed with a colonoscopy b/c of the risk of being put under any anesthesia. So he deals with chronic pain, diarrhea, etc but they can't do anything to help him.

Of course the heart DR won't give me any timeline on how long he might have to live. I do understand that each individual is unique and therefore its undetermined, but it would be nice to have an idea of what I'm dealing with here. I'm all over the place mentally, sometimes obsessing constantly over him dying, sometimes flipping out if I can't reach him by phone b/c I'm envisioning lying in his house dead or unable to reach the phone. This is part of what exacerabates my worry b/c he still lives on his own and refuses to live with me or stay in a care facility or anything. He is still driving his own truck to town several times a week (20 miles one way) and driving fence posts with his buddies!!

I'm consumed with worry and guilt. He acts as if he is as fine as always....and I'm going crazy wondering how much longer I have with my dad. I know everyone says "just enjoy the time you have" and I'm trying to do that, but I'm kinda tired of him acting like it's nothing and his heart DR carries the attitude of 'this is to be expected, he's a heart failure patient.' Comments and advice obviously welcome!!

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