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Significant Quotes


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It's been many years since anyone has asked, I think they stop after the first month.

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“Losing a loved one is torture, especially for those left behind. They say time heals all wounds. It doesn’t. It just patches a broken heart. It doesn’t get any easier over time. You just learn to live with the pain.” 
Mary Ting

 

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14 hours ago, enna said:

They say time heals all wounds. It doesn’t.

I just heard this same quote in What's Your Grief today.

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It's why I live where I do...nature is so restoring and healthy for our perspective!  To me it's worth more than high speed internet, shopping, great restaurants, all the things I'm missing because I chose to live here.  A worthwhile exchange!

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"Time is ungovernable, but grief presents us with a choice: what do we do with the savage energies of bereavement?
What do we do with the memory - or in the memory - of the beloved? Some commemorate love with statuary,
but behavior, too, is a memorial, as is a well-lived life. In death, there is always the promise of hope.
The key is opening, rather than numbing, ourselves to pain.
Above all, we must show our children how to celebrate existence in all its beauty,
and how to get up after life has knocked us down, time and again.
Half-dead, we stand. And together, we salute love.
Because in the end, that's all that matters.
How hard we loved, and how hard we tried." 

~ Antonella Gambotto-Burke in 
The Eclipse: A Memoir of Suicide

 

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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make a difference that you have lived and lived well.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson

These are powerful words that are necessary reminders that growth is seldom peaceful and easy. Evolution is serious business and if you have come into this lifetime to grow your soul, then today's quote likely rings all too true.

Between reality TV, the ridiculous highlight reel brand of social media shares that the vast majority of society imbibes in, and the photo shopped reality the advertising world envelops us in every day- it is easy to fall into the false belief that ‘everyone else out there is happy…’

Call me a pessimist but carte blanche happiness is a dead end road. Struggle is the thing that helps to form the very best parts of who we are. My opinion on this is rather strong- having spent 25 years as a grief therapist, I have watched time and again how the most extreme life circumstances can bring the most extraordinary gifts.

Happy is a great thing to strive toward, but do not make happiness alone your goal in life. Let it come in and go out in waves… And when the tides of life bring you into deep waters- on those days, make sure that you are useful, honorable, and compassionate- because when happiness is far away, it is these things that will allow you to be buoyant.
 
 
 
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I love this. 

I once felt during my grief's journey that I would never be happy again. Grief can bring that thought to mind yet I remember a time long ago when I believed doing the right thing in life would bring happiness as a bi product if I may.  Grief allowed me to forget that for sorrow can be so severe that we just want the pain to end. 

Perhaps it could be as simple as getting back into the work of life and then tired at the end of day we can sit back and feel happy for what we have done.

This reminds me of something my airplane mechanic said at the end of a very hard day of work that just took so much to get right. (I remember having quite a few cuts on my hands). He said "All in a days work" as he looked at my airplane with a very slight smile on his face,     a smile I noticed. 

It took Kathy's death for me to realize I was here to evolve. 75355983-47d6-48ef-93e5-4ec45037c1fe.png.709c13164764785c83de8abf3681334c.png

 

 

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I had a SIL tell me yesterday that she was glad my life was so happy now.  That surprised me!  Although I miss George each and every day and carry a kind of sadness inside of me, apparently I project a feeling of happiness.  Such is the oddity of grief, that both can coexist at the same time.

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Sharing this beautiful message just received from our dear friend and colleague, Peggy Haymes:

 

Dear Marty,

This fall, with the leadership of Chelsy Mitchell, the Novant Health Chaplains created our own version of the lovingkindness blessing. I have this blessing over my desk at the hospital, and have started the spiritual practice of focusing on one line each day. That line become my mantra, and I repeat it as I go about my day.

It has become incredibly meaningful for me. I share it with you with the hopes that you may also find meaning and spiritual practice.

May your way be delighted with unexpected blessings this season.

Peggy
 

May I be present
May I know deep in my heart and bones that I am enough
May I be a vessel of God's Spirit
May I create space for healing, hope, and pause
May I be a blessing
May I creatively lean into the wild and precious life
May I be joyous
May the wisdom of God be with me
May I truly rest
May I be filled so I can pour myself out for others
May I understand how much I am loved
May I find Sabbath, Shabbat, and Shalom
May I have more love
May I find badly needed peace and healing
May I bask in the glow of God's love
May I live with authenticity and vulnerability
May I be at peace with others
 
***************************************
 
May you be present
May you know deep in your heart and bones that you are enough
May you be a vessel of God's Spirit
May you create space for healing, hope, and pause
May you be a blessing
May you creatively lean into the wild and precious life
May you be joyous
May the wisdom of God be with you
May you truly rest
May you be filled so you can pour yourself out for others
May you understand how much you am loved
May you find Sabbath, Shabbat, and Shalom
May you have more love
May you find badly needed peace and healing
May you bask in the glow of God's love
May you live with authenticity and vulnerability
May you be at peace with others
 
**************************************
 
May all beings be present
May all beings know deep in their heart and bones that they are enough
May all beings be a vessel of God's Spirit
May all beings create space for healing, hope, and pause
May all beings be a blessing
May all beings creatively lean into the wild and precious life
May all beings be joyous
May the wisdom of God be with all beings
May all beings truly rest
May all beings be filled so they can pour themselves out for others
May all beings understand how much they am loved
May all beings find Sabbath, Shabbat, and Shalom
May all beings have more love
May all beings find badly needed peace and healing
May all beings bask in the glow of God's love
May all beings live with authenticity and vulnerability
May all beings be at peace with others
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