It is okay to feel angry with him, your feelings are valid. Just don't let them overshadow who he was/is and remember we are all multifaceted, containing our strengths and weaknesses. I'm sure he never intended for you to get hurt.
About the bridal botique, that makes me angry. How dare they! I'd tell them I'd be happy to pay for it and accept it if they didn't mind my writing a letter to the newspaper about how they dealt with it. Grrr!
Thanks again for the excellent advice. I am trying to concentrate on the good memories. Right now, when I think of them, they somehow morph into the events leading to his death or I have a mental countdown of how many months he had left at that point. Does this happen to anyone else on here? Thinking of the a good memory brings me to tears because I either know I won't get any more of them or remember the days leading up to his death.
Wedding Vendor Update:
I am getting full refunds from all but two vendors. One vendor has not returned calls/emails for a month. The second vendor is the dress boutique. Here is a quick summary:
My dress went into production in early October. My bridesmaids contacted the boutique in September and spoke to a manager. She told them that she would give this her immediate attention, inform the owner, contact the manufacturer, cancel the order, and was almost positive she could get a full refund. She did none of these things. The owner was informed on Friday after I stated I might contact the media since calls and emails were not returned. The manufacturer was not called until today. It is now too late to cancel the order. Here are some lovely quotes from my email exchange with the owner:
It is exhausting mentally to read all that you right - if
you would have simply said "thank you" and waited for my response tomorrow you
may have been happily surprised. But now, you will not hear from my for one
week. If you continue to email me with all of this I am not going to be in the
mood to be generous with the offer that I was thinking about making.
This was said after I asked for an update regarding what the manufacturer said today.
Here is another one:
The solution I can
provide is going to be out of the goodness of my heart and yet you use words
such as the above. I am very upset at this point - thinking about doing
something nice for someone and this is how we are treated.
I will be in touch in 7 days. Email or call again, and I will never be in touch
This was said in regards to the fact I mentioned contacting the media and that it was negligent of his store manager to not contact him or the manufacturer when she was first told of the situation in September.
I have been getting emails like this from him all weekend. He knows all about the events leading to Adam's death and my diagnosis. He still spoke to me like this.