My Dad

[gabygiambalvo]

I lost my father on December 12th 2008, when I was 9, I know it was a while ago and I should be better now but I can't stop thinking about him it hurts so much, I see my friends dads loving them and I don't have a dad to love me , my life would be so different and I know I would be so much happier if he was here, he would have moved down to where I lived, taught me how to drive, walk me down the aisle. but yet he had a bad addiction with drugs which caused him and my mom to split when I was only 4 months . I read his letters he wrote to me about how much he needed me and loved me but my family says it's all the work of a con artist and that he was a bad man, I know in my heart he wasn't bad, he just had his struggles with drugs. And then that dreadful day in 2008 my grandma and grandpa found him dead in his sleep. overdosed. when I got the call I felt my heart break .. I heard it . And I lost something in me that day and I know I will never ever get it back . I am 13 now and this whole thing has put me in a depression , like why me .. I deserve a dad don't i ? he wanted to get better for me ... I'm sorry for everyone that has lost a parent . stay strong . <3

[kayc]

I am so sorry you lost your dad. Yes you deserved to have a dad and it's not fair. It has to do with him and his problems, not you...unfortunately, you got the fallout. And I do believe you're right, no one is all bad, we usually have something that could use improving, but also some very good points too. It sounds like your dad loved you enough to reach out to you. A con artist does not have those feelings, and manipulates people to get what HE wants from them...your dad could not have been doing that, what could he possibly be trying to con you for? Your family saw his addiction and all that that entails for so long that they forgot the good part of him...perhaps he had even forgotten it himself, yet you are keeping it alive because you saw some good in him, and it's okay to remember that.

Continue trying your best and look for the good in life and it will come to you. Sometimes it takes time and we have to be patient and persevere, but believe and hope, life has good in store for you yet ahead.

[MartyT]

Dear One, I'm so sorry you're without your dad, and so sad to learn the circumstances surrounding his death, which certainly can complicate the grief you're feeling now. Of course you can't stop thinking about him ~ this man is your father, after all, and you have every right to mourn your loss of him. In fact, for the rest of your life there will be times when the magnitude of this loss will hit you square in the face, and it's important to acknowledge what you are feeling and why.

You don't say what, if any, support you've had to help you better understand and come to terms with the death of your dad. Is there anyone at school ~ a favorite teacher or school counselor, for example ~ or a trusted relative or friend with whom you can talk about all of this? It sounds as if your family members have turned against your dad, and I'm sure they have their reasons. Still, he was your father, and you deserve to make a place for him in your heart and to find a way to preserve and share your good memories of him.

I encourage you to do a bit of reading so you'll have a better understanding of what you are feeling and why. Click on the links to the articles I've listed below, and see also the Related Articles listed at the base of each. (The individual circumstances may differ from your own, but I think the information you'll find will be useful to you anyway):

Teen Struggles with Reaction to Dad's Death

Teen Grief: Mourning the Death of a Parent

The Grief of An Overdose Death, Part One

The Grief of An Overdose Death, Part Two

[gabygiambalvo]

Thank you so much <3

[kayc]

Thinking of you...

(((hugs)))

[ezgiaks]

I'm so sorry for your loss, gabygiambalvo.
it seems like you are experiencing so hard times in your life. Especially, it may be so hard to live these at your age.

Please visit here often and share your feelings and thoughts. I've just lost my dad 9 days ago and i become better when i enter this site to read what others have done about this pain and tell them what i'm doing. There are so many people helping you heal even if they don't recognize you in real life.