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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Coming Up To A Year


bballgal8

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Hey guys,

A year ago in April I lost a very close friend of mine. She died in a car accident and I was the one driving. I know it wasn't my fault that caused the accident (a car ran a red light) but I can't seem to get over it. I think all the time what if we left just one minute later? What if she decided to drive and I was the one in her spot? When she first died I would have dreams about what happened and I am starting to have some of the same dreams again. I felt like I was making progress in dealing with my grief but now I feel like I am taking some steps back. She was someone I could talk to about anything and just laugh and have fun with. I keep finding reasons not to see my other friends because it brings back all the memories of times we spent together and I feel like I am shutting them out. I think some of them are angry with me for it and I don't think they understand why I have a hard time hanging out with them. I'm hoping once it gets past the one year mark I won't feel so awful.

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It's not uncommon to feel survivor's guilt. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, it must have been horrible to see it all happen. Have you gone to a grief counselor? I really think it could be of some help. It is good to express yourself and not keep it bottled up. Have you told your friends what you're feeling and that it's not them personally, it is what you are going through?

Time alone is not a cure, it takes a lot of effort to do our grief work, it is a journey that doesn't seem to end completely, but it does change form and it should get better eventually. I hope you'll consider seeing a grief counselor, usually the hospital or hospice can direct you to someone.

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Thanks for your kind words. I have not been to counseling and have always been hesitant about it. I have always found it hard for me to talk about difficult things but in the end it just ends up holding me back. It is hard not talking to anyone about this though. I haves a sister I am close with that I am able to talk to but maybe seeing a counselor will help me work through this better. Thanks for the advice.

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Let us know when you find someone and how it goes.

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