Lots Of Loss

[onemuse]

Hi everyone. I lost my mom, oldest brother, and my dad all in a few months' time last year. My mom passed away in February, my brother in July, and my dad two weeks after that. Some days it doesn't even seem real, even now! I can't believe it has been a year already--I am doing better, but every now and then grief will sneak up on me. I do very well with giving in to it and letting it flow--I don't hold it in. I also have siblings, a spouse, and kids who have helped me through. (Unfortunately I've developed a couple of health problems in the aftermath that I'm now dealing with, although with medication they are mostly under control now.)

I haven't attended any grief couseling or groups yet. A local church is starting one soon--those of you that have joined groups, did you find them helpful? Thanks for any thoughts you can provide.

[miagata]

Hello... hopefully my words can help in some way.

I've had multiple losses as well.. so I can relate some with how you feel.

The pain and suffering from loss feels so similar for everyone but healing or finding the "right" answer or words is different for each individual.

I'm still processing. Maybe I always will be. Probably.

Somehow these 2 statements went straight through me to my core..

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" --- and find that there is no death. -Eckhart Tolle

(It's helpful to have an understanding of becoming "selfless" and letting go of our attachment to permanence)

"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love." -Carl Sagan

This is because we're constantly looking for THE reason and/or answer.

People who like to say, "Everything happens for a reason" are the worst. That's just reciting some generic, cliché crap they heard their aunt say. But love and compassion really does bind us. Isn't it strange how we can actually feel each other's pain and joy? It's almost like telepathy.. and very real.

[miagata]

On the upside.. my behaviours have changed drastically.

I quit my job in Seattle and disappeared into the Redwood forest for 3 months. I stayed in a yurt, journaled and bathed in a rubbermaid tub.. then flew to Hawaii and became a beach bum for nearly a year then took a job teaching in Korea.

I rescued 2 dogs and right now I'm cuddling with them while drinking Korean beer, eating a whole box of hostess cakes while the pups eat potato chips in my bed. And I don't give a s*** because life is short and sometimes ends abruptly.