Wifflesnook Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Just delivered two little ones to nursery and school. It meant a five am wake up as my daughter had to catch a bus at six to catch a train at seven to get to London. Phew. I won't say it was easy, especially as we had a snow fall overnight and I didn't dare risk taking the car out. So we had to walk to the bus stop, just miss a bus, wait 13 minutes, then deliver Rosie-Mae to nursery, walk E to school getting lost on the way because I'm not familiar with doing it from that direction, and 15 minutes walk back once she was safely at school. I am now drinking coffee in daughter's bed before tackling house work. Well done Jan I am saying. I always find being here without Pete very painful. It's ok when I'm surrounded by littlies but on my own I get very sad. But I will make myself useful once I have rested. I love reading about what you have been doing everybody. I feel we know each other. With that in one here is a photo with my two littlies for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Jan, 5:00 am, that's impressive! fae and Anne, I've been in on his project since the beginning since he asked me to serve as the Diabetic they needed for a Protege. I did a LOT of walking yesterday while they did their testing and I felt energetic and fine for it all, it was a couple of hours. I can't wait to see the results of the tests. I've known Rainer for over 40 years, and know him to be tops in the field of prosthetics and orthotics, if anyone can help Diabetics be more comfortable walking, it would be him. I will get to keep the shoes when done. The down side is, he used a cheap pair of shoes to cut apart and put the sole in...so now we're left with a cheap pair of shoes with a terrific sole...what a waste! The shoes themselves are too narrow in the toebox and too sloppy at the heel, too big, too much slippage (would require thicker socks)...the soles themselves, having a hole all the way across them, would not be suitable for mud, but the uppers are not suitable for summer since they're leather and not breathable...I told him if he made a pair out of Earth shoes, THEN he'd have something! I just learned that that Earth is quitting manufacturing athletic shoes altogether. They already halted manufacture of men's shoes. I'm very upset with them for making these changes, but then that's what happens when one company acquires another, they fail to have the vision the original starter of the company had in the beginning. I'm hoping someone else can acquire their patent. Rainer told me there was one other company that made negative heel shoes in Canada, but they've also gone out of business. Perhaps another company can start, there are people clamoring for them. They've sold their "sole" for a buck, electing to to into fashion shoes, which is ridiculous, everyone and their dog is already doing fashion shoes, we don't need more...most of which are against everything Anna Kalso stood for and designed! Since I made 100% commitment to wearing nothing but Kalso Earth, my Neuropathy pain is completely gone. I felt the pain return when I had to wear the regular soles yesterday, glad to be done with that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Dear Jan,Thank you for the photo of you with the littles. How very sweet to see you all there together. I am impressed with your ambition to get up, get everyone to where they need to be, and then to work on house cleaning, too! You have a great knack for showing up when needed, and I know your daughter must be so appreciative to have you to turn to when she needs help. I hope her headaches are doing better -- or not doing at all, actually.Can you take a nice, long, peaceful nap while the girls are in classes? That might help you to not be so tired by the time you get back home.Enjoy the delightful little company, and have fun!*<twinkles>*fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 Thanks Fae, I did have a rest but because of the weather I had to fetch them back early. Their mother has now arrived safely back from London (I always worry about her) and the four year old is now asleep and I am aboit to have a well earned głass of wine. Yes,I'm do have a daughter who is very appreciative, which is nice. But at 73 I have to confess to finding it tougher looking after little ones than I did when bringing up my children when I was quite a young mother. I admire my daughter tremendously as she is a single mother and in her forties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 29, 2015 Report Share Posted January 29, 2015 The picture is precious, Jan ~ Thanks so much for sharing it with us. Your littlies are adorable. I agree with you completely: There is a reason why we have our children when we are young. I know it's tough being a single mom these days. Still, your daughter is blessed to have you in her life, and your littlies are blessed as well. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 30, 2015 Report Share Posted January 30, 2015 I love the picture, it is precious indeed! I worry about that...I'm only 62, but I'm used to being on my own, living alone, looking after just me, going at my own pace. How will I be able to keep up with a little one when I'm a grandma? (My son and DIL are expecting in May) Because of the distance, I probably will have them for a weekend or a week while my son and his wife get away alone...will I be able to handle it? I see those of you in your 70s doing it...I hope I can too! You're right, it was different when ours were young, for we were in our 30s or 40s then. A vast difference in energy and how well we feel! Even a difference in sleep patterns. I don't believe in energy drinks (no, I've never had one, I think them too dangerous) so will have to just keep going on eating healthy and taking vitamins and hoping the morning walk is invigorating! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted January 31, 2015 Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 Jan, I have read some of your posts, so I'm beginning to know you. Thank you for the photo. Your littlies are precious. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted January 31, 2015 Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 Kay, With your spirit, love, and drive, I think you'll be an active grandmother. Anyone that will shovel snow after surgery, will chase grand babies. Carrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted February 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 My Valentine ritual this year will include the lighting of a candle as I have done for a few years now. Since I am working on taxes at this time I will also wrap up the Federal and State and send them off for approval. As in the past few years, I do not get to look forward to a refund but I also will not have to pay. This will be the second year that I am filing ‘single’ and it still hurts each year tax season comes along. This is not a day I look forward to for it reminds me of how alone I am now that Jim is no longer with me in the physical sense. For me, this is probably the hardest holiday I have to get through. It was our holiday for forty years. It meant finding that special card to express our love. It meant preparing that special meal and setting the table with red and white decorations. It meant waiting for the special red rose flower arrangement that arrived the day before ordered by Jim. It was our holiday and we celebrated at home, together, enjoying a good meal, a movie and reflections of the past year. It was more important to us than December 31st. As in the past few years, I have not received any invitations to join anyone for a dinner. People are busy with their own celebrations and their thoughts are not on people who have lost their significant others. I am okay with that. Couples make their reservations to eat out never giving a thought to someone who is now without a partner. This is a loneliness that is always present. There is no cure for that. I will continue to de-clutter some things that need to be gone from my home. I have found that I can get along with very little in my kitchen cabinets. I do not need all the dishes I have or all the pots and pans that never come out for the cooking I used to do. I still bake and cook but not for the numbers I used to. There are no big parties anymore. One thing that I find the hardest to adjust to is not being included in things. We used to go out with other couples often or go to gatherings at each other’s homes. That stopped when Jim died and it is a harsh reality to deal with. I do not dwell on these things but when a holiday like Valentine’s Day comes along it is a cruel reminder that I am alone and it is just another day to ‘get through.’ If you haven’t already read the article posted on grief healing here is the link. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted February 11, 2015 Report Share Posted February 11, 2015 Dear Anne Valentine Day was special for us too. Pete often made a Valentine card for me and I have of course kept them all. I shall put one on the mantelpiece I think. Though as its half term and our daughter and the girls are vsiitng I shan't be alone. Last year they made me one, which was so thoughtful. All that love from our husbands and back is still in our hearts. Until we die it will be there. I too have done a bit of decluttering. One thing related to cooking I know I should do and that is empty all Pete's spice jars and wash them and give them away. Three years is too long for spices to remain any good even if I wanted to use them. Pete was a good keen cook and has become very good at Indian curries so he had lots of spices all ready. I'm not sure if I can touch them. These things cause so much extra pain don't they? I'm working on our web site which hasn't been touched since early 2011. I've had to change the home page to acknowledge Pete has died. I have also to change other pages and then do an upload. It's got lots about the history of our area and I think it's worth keeping it going so I am determined to do it. These are all small steps. For tnose who are earlier than we two in loss my message is that we do what we can when we can. I do push myself a bit, but I treat myself with tenderness, just as Pete would. On Valentine's Day I shall think of all of us who have lost best loved spouses. Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 12, 2015 Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 Jan, I applaud you updating your website, that must be very difficult emotionally. Anne, I will be home Valentine's Day itself as our church' banquet is the night before. I adopted Arlie Feb. 3 and they told me he was not quite a year so I chose Valentine's day for his birthday...so for Valentine's day I will be with my beloved Arlie and celebrate him. It is such a "couple's day" that it's hard to ignore. I will go read the link you shared with us, thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 12, 2015 Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 I read the article, Anne, it was very good. I would add to it...use the gifts your loved one gave you and be grateful for them as you do. I can't honestly think of anything more my George could have bought for me, he was always buying things for me...from a custom jewelry box (which I just listened to yesterday) to jewelry, things to use for my stamp art...he knew I loved leaves and he'd buy me sweaters with leaves in them...I look forward to losing enough weight to be able to wear them again! We both loved hummingbirds so that was also on the list...as well as dragonflies. He knew I loved Japanese art and he bought me a piece, it's still on my wall. He noticed my cookwear wearing out so he bought me a new set, which I'm still using. He bought me special things for the kitchen. I could never outdo him or wish for anything more from him...except more time with him. So I plan to take special notice on Valentine's Day of all of the "gifts" George gave me...to give thought to the wonderful man that he was and contemplate on what I learned from having had him in my life...that is, when I'm not spending special time with Arlie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted February 12, 2015 Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 I will light a candle for us all for Valentine's Day. I think I will buy a little chocolate heart to enjoy since I am too far away to enjoy Anne's Red Wine Chocolate Cake. I mailed out my Valentine cards yesterday. I have already put my last valentine card from Doug out next to our bed for a while. I also put out a couple of his last love notes.An evening snuggling with Arlie, especially if you have cold moving in, sounds lovely, Kay.Jan, how beautiful that you have a card Pete made for you! That is heartwarming and makes me smile. Anne, we will both have candles. I am sorry you will be alone this very special day for Jim and you. Valentine's Day was not one of our "special" days, but I know that for you, it is going to carry a special poignancy to be alone on this day of romance and being in love. We are here for you and will be with you as you invite beautiful memories and celebrate the wonderful Love that is still yours. I was invited out to dinner, but it was an invitation from a single fellow, who has been clear about his intentions. I declined. I am not going to do that to myself, when I would much rather be at home with wonderful memories.We will find ways to draw forth some sweetness for the day, and allow our amazement and gratitude that we are a part of something so wonderful and magnificent as the Love we still share with our Beloved.namaste,fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted February 12, 2015 Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 Kay, I just read your most recent post. What a wonderful idea! Your heart will be overflowing with joy and love, I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 12, 2015 Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 fae, I appreciate the idea of getting out the valentines George had given me, I think I'll look for them...but I'll wait until Saturday...and read them afresh. Funny how I hadn't thought of that! My heart goes out to all here, I know it's hard missing them, esp. on a day that meant so much to us as a couple, and a day we always would have spent together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted February 12, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 This day I turned my attention on me. Sporting a fresh pedicure and a new haircut, I’m feeling loved ~ just a little bit. J I’m my own valentine today. I have scheduled a manicure and hair highlight next. I was told that my silver hair is “stunning” and I should not change it! So, maybe I’ll get a facial and leave the hair alone. PT is progressing slowly. I am pleased, as is my physical therapist. Less pain allows for more gain. J I big shout out to the Arizona Orthopedic Physical Therapy group. I have much to be grateful for this Valentine’s Day compared to last year. My CHF is being managed without the eleven meds I used to be on ~ even my cardiac doctor is happy. I take only two heart medicines now. My latest nuclear heart test was good. I have learned how to cook heart smart and reduced my sodium to very good levels. Chocolate remains on my “need to have” indulgence list. I can’t imagine it not to be. When I finish my papers for end-of-life wishes you can bet that something chocolate will be on the list as a daily necessity. I am slowly de-cluttering around the house. I just don’t need all the things I have and someone else could be using them. Some things will remain whether I ever use them or not. Those who have lost a spouse will understand this. On my list of ‘to dos,’ when my back is stronger is to have the carpet in the living room replaced with faux wood. I guess living in the Midwest it was natural to have carpet throughout the house, but it will be easier for me to clean wood and tile rather than vacuum. My goal is to have only tile and wood floors throughout the house. I’ll have the den and master bedroom done in late spring. It will be time for an outside paint job in the coming year and I think a new color will be on the books this time around. Our choices are limited being in the desert, but there are many more choices than there were in1999 when we had our home built. It feels good to be focusing on myself for a change. I hope this does not sound selfish. “Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” ~ Eleanor Brownn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 12, 2015 Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 Anne, What a terrific way to spend Valentine's Day! I had my hair colored just before my surgery in a pampering pick me up sort of way. I got it cut a couple of weeks ago and am loving it. It's important to do self care and also pamper ourselves...we don't have someone else to spoil us any more, so we need to do it ourselves! I am so glad you your therapy is making progress, you should be so proud of yourself! You are an amazing woman, you and fae inspire me. I too am taking such healthy care of myself...love love loving Kale as many ways as I can think of to fix it! I wonder I never discovered it before, it just wasn't something I grew up having. I'd love to ditch my carpet and have a wood floor...maybe someday! No Anne, it does not sound selfish, it sounds brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted February 12, 2015 Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 Anne, my dear, I don't think there is one selfish bone in your body. Good for you for being your own special Valentine ~ because you certainly are that and more for us ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeL Posted February 12, 2015 Report Share Posted February 12, 2015 Thanks for the link flipping me over to this thread to share Valentine's Day. My younger coworkers are all chattering about their new loves, their plans for Valentine's Day. Today I put on my iPod ear buds so I'd be able to concentrate on my work without their distraction. Working has its ups and downs......the structure and routine are healthy, the income is vital, I like my job & I help others. Yet it takes so much energy to perform to the work productivity demands and take care of my heart, my home, my body. And I'm still recovering from my December car accident. I'm not looking forward to spending Valentine's Day alone; part of the change I'm working towards includes being more social, joining groups, attending events, trying to make new friends. So far, 3 friends/groups have declined getting together because they have Saturday plans. As I read others' posts here I see I'm not the only widow who feels "un-included" by previous friends. In a small way, that feels better because I know I'm not alone in this experience. This is my 2nd Valentine's Day without my husband....I do feel more resilient than last year and for that I'm grateful. J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 Well, my plans changed for Valentine's Day. I have to travel a couple hours away to have a video made of me walking...I'm being the guinea pig for my friends Diabetic shoe invention. I'd hope to spend the day at home with Arlie, and going through valentine's day cards from George, plus my sister invited me out for lunch, so I had to turn it down. The day will start way too early, which I don't like either. How ARE you doing (from the car accident)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted February 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 I love Arizona. Sunset tonight standing on my front walk. The colors are so much more vibrant and my Olive tree is full and green. The two Rosemary bushes fill the air with a beautiful scent when there is a breeze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 I need a "Like" button! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeL Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 Kay, I'm healing slowly and steadily... My accident was 4 days before my planned trip east in December to care for Mom after her hip fracture, so I had the first month after my accident off work & I know that helped my healing. My car rolled 3x, landed upside down, I am so very grateful that I could climb out and walked up the hill with help. I'm recovering from neck, shoulder, back and knee injuries, my seatbelt bruises are finally gone. I'm a strong believer in airbags, seat belts and Subarus! .....so it was a no-brainer to buy a new Outback to replace my totaled one. It will take time, but I am mending. Jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted February 13, 2015 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 When Valentine’s Day is Hard For some of us this day will be hard. No ifs, ands or buts about it. I think the best gift we can give ourselves is to love ourselves because we are worth it. ♡ Loving myself means allowing my pain to surface. ♡ Loving myself means taking care of my health. ♡ Loving myself means exercising as best I am able. ♡ Loving myself is not to feel guilty when I laugh. ♡ Loving myself means doing something that makes me feel good: ♫ get a new haircut ♫ schedule a facial ♫ buy some flowers ♫ read a book, watch a movie, work on my color pencil art ♫ going to lunch with friends ♫ talking with a friend on the tele ♫ surprising someone with a plate of brownies or a Bavarian Cream filled Bismarck I am sure you have your own things that make you feel loved. Do something nice for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 13, 2015 Report Share Posted February 13, 2015 Thank you, Anne. My day won't be spent as planned as I need to help a friend with a project and now my dog is injured so the plans I'd had are changed. So much for trying to take control of this holiday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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