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Just got home from the hospital...resting up and will be back here in a few days.

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I'm so sorry to learn that our dear Fae has been hospitalized, Kay ~ Is that all the news you're able to share with us? If you are in communication with her, please let her know that we are holding her gently in thought and prayer . . .

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That's all I know, Marty. When I called the hospital yesterday, they said she wasn't there! She left a msg. on my ans. machine because she knew I was worried, but she said she wasn't up to making/receiving calls, so I'll leave her alone until she's ready. I'm sure she has people checking in on her there.

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Hello Everyone.

Thank you for the prayers and wood wishes, kind words and all the love.

I got home from the hospital at about 6p Wed. and fell asleep on the sofa, woke up at midnight and was taken to bed, woke up at 11a for food, but I am mostly sleeping

I thought I had food poisoning, a couple of docs thought it was gall stones, there was an endoscopic surgery, a nick, the bleeding, no one checked on me for about 24 hours so by then I was rather a lighter shade of pale, eliminating lots of dead blood. then they had to keep me around to get my hemoglobin and hematocrit back up to survival levels. Not a joke. Now I am home for a week of bed rest with visiting health person around to make meals and things, and give warm cloths to me to wipe my salt-encrusted face. These are tears of profound gratitude to be HERE with YOU today. I am savoring air, and life, and water, and food, and the feel of my own arms moving and my own fingers typing, and this time, I know it was MY fight and I have won. I know that I was well-girded all around by G*d with resolve and courage, and I am HERE, with YOU and I plan to go on. amen. :)

And then on the 26th I go back for tests and then the docs will huddle for another consultation and sorry about all the typos but I am way weak. I can go twelve steps then I must sit or recline and rest for 15 minutes, then I can go another 12 steps or so. Whew! I am getting stronger, and tomorrow, I get to eat a steak.

However, I swear that frosted fairies came and perched in the frozen aspen outside my hospital room window. waving tiny tambourines of leaves and cheering for me every day. Little shards of sparkling ice fell from the tambourines, and the sun sparkled through the snow clouds occasionally, colouring the slivers of ice against the grey sky, to remind me of the beauty of life, even on tough days. And the last leaf never did fall, thank goodness.

And if any of you have not read Blind Your Ponies, it is a superb hymn to the unflagging faith of us all, but most especially to those who have dined occasionally at the Willow Creek Saloon in Willow Creek Montana, where Doug and I have shared a few good meals with good friends. My personal dedication for Ponies is to the Crow, Northern Cheyenne, and Cheyenne River Sioux who continue to believe. Amen.

My sense of life has been profoundly shaken, shifted, brought into a new kind of light these past couple of weeks. Life does hang by the most gossamer of threads, thinner than the silk of a spider, more beautiful than the dance of a prism on a dark wall. I remember waking up once from some very deep and silent place, thinking I must be alive still, because I was very thirsty. The cautious joke was that there was no place left on my body to push in another needle. I think it was true at that time.

I don't mean to make light of this at all. I am blessed to still be here, to still be able to dream, to imagine, to plan, to cherish the love that seems to keep flowing into and out of my heart. I simply welcome the deluge. I suppose, having made peace with the fact that I might go at any time has given me a hearty thirst for life and a strong sense that I must reach out against the aridity that exists where love is absent, and fling more loving fairy dust for all of us who stand in joyful witness to the threads that bind us to each other and to this circle of grace as we spin here, on this cosmic wheel, ever-so-willing to take part—any part—in the dance.

I don't think I knew how beautiful life could be until I spent a few days sleeping with death in the same bed with me. Every time I would wake, move, turn over, I did not know if the thread would break or not. There was only G*D there, running things as the docs worked to get me back into the land of the living and standing firmly on my own two feet. And yet, death can be very beautiful as well.

Let us go and make lots of joyful songs and dances to the stars, just as soon as we are strong enough the do so.

I know this is emotional and nattering and not organized, but if you had just involuntarily given lots of blood, and then come through it ALIVE, you would be nattering as well, I think. Sorry about all the typos.

Namaste,

fae

ps I am convinced that I have at least, minimum, nine lives.

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And to Doug, my elegant and handsome Pow-Wow dancer husband with his high floating porcupine roach bustle, his spike whip, his porcupine quill breast shield, and his beautiful eagle bone whistle and handsome headdress for his handsome head and long hair. Thank you for staying with me through this time in the darkness, and for dancing and drumming me out alive one more time.

I'inshu'ult'a'wakan'a'was'to a.

your fae

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Very dear fae, tonight we are indeed making lots of joyful songs of gratitude and dances of praise to the stars, and praying that soon you will be healthy enough and strong enough to sing and dance right along with the rest of us. Thank you for finding the strength to give us an update ~ but please, please now REST and HEAL and know that we are with you, sending love and light and prayers.

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:wub:

Thank you Marty,

Right now, I am conjuring up lox and bagles with chopped eggs, red onion, and capers, sending out a shopping list to my shoppers. :) Some times, we just need to celebrate. :) When we are all better, we will have champagne. :)

Safe travels to you as you arrive in Florida for the winter. I am smiling thinking of you on beaches under warm sun.

fae

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fae,

I'm so glad you are here and hope like Marty said, you'll rest. I don't know what was wrong but you have a beautiful way of expressing yourself. It seems you have indeed walked the valley of death...and returned. I'm glad your Doug was there with you.

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Dear Fae,

Be well and be blessed. If you need some faerie dust--sounds like you used a fair quantity of your store--Oberon and Puck will be delivering a truckload shortly to your door. ;) No charge.

Peace,

Harry

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Anne, you always come up with just the right picture! Must be your pinterest...

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Thank you for the huge load of fairy dust, as I was almost depleted my stores, Harry. And I love the fairy dust in the jar Anne. Someone is here cooking a steak and making a salad for me, so I will eat well this afternoon.

I am still very weak. But I am being called to table.

Of I go to take my 12 steps, rest, then take about 8 more and i will be there.

*<twinkles>*

fae

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I'm glad you are resting, fae. I'm having to be careful not to overdo it...just putting up the tree and decorating it...I got hit with pain...at least it waited until I was done. :) Now I can enjoy it no matter what comes.

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There is some humor in the Universe, and G*d is an iron. Definitely.

My dear home health care person, who is a CNA and Trained cook, as well as competent house keeper, has managed in one day to fairly well destroy my house.

Where to begin???

Groceries, including steaks, were purchased, but dropped in the drive. Eggs well scrambled, fish slipping on sones. I suggested we shower off the bits and carry on after drying and oiling the meat. She decided to wash the meat with a brush, then dumped on about a half cup of montreal steak seasoning (too much of a good thing is just too much) and then I suggested using alumin. foil to hold the meat, but her mantra is "metal is not healthy" so she got out my gramma's pyrex square baking dish, poured in lots of olive oil, and tossed in the steak to broil it under the broiler. (I surmise the above as I was innocently and peacefully tucked into bed at the time while she was arguing with me that she was a "trained home health aide" whatever that means. )

The oil caught fire, needless to say, and in her vigor to save the kitchen, she flung the burning shards of pyrex around the kitchen, melting the new, expensive flooring, grinding several bits of burning pyrex into the flooring, and actually inadvertently utilizing the super-heated (not really that superheated) pyrex in burning olive oil shards to create big gashes in the floor, plus dropping the remnants of the pyrex pan, which puffed up the flooring and discoloured it remarkably. I will be calling my insurance adjuster Monday morning to find out how much this is going to cost me. It is a pretty big and terrible mess, but I can still cook on the stove top, I think. But, Oh! my pretty new kitchen floor! Ruined! I know it can be replaced. But this is all going to be costly. I will go back to making Marmalade Lovers Marmalade to sell to pay for the damages and new floor.

I am stronger. The raw steak is in the trash, wrapped so no poor animals try to eat the pyrex-encrusted meat. I will deal with all of this mess in a day or two. and the CNA home health aide has been FIRED! but not killed. I hate people who argue with me when I am weak and ill and especially in my own house. I am going to go toast a bagle. What is left?

Now smile everyone, for this is not the end of the world, only the end of the beautiful kitchen. Who knows? It may come back even better after all the damage is cleared away.

Harry, I know this is not the fault of Puck, but I am wondering. :)

*<twinkles>*

from one tired fae, who will be watching old Myrna Loy and Thin Man films tomorrow and ignoring the partly destroyed kitchen.

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Dear Fae,

Oberon promised me he had Puck under control these days. Sigh. Last time I believe a faerie I haven't bribed with pizza first. But then Oberon always liked wine before. I'll try to get Titania to straighten this out--she owes me one. But I can never be sure she won't fall in love with an ass--and then she's completely unpredictable.

And you wanted to know why I try not to get involved with the residents of faerie...

Peace,

Harry

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Oh, Fae,

I'm so glad that you are home and resting, but what a stressful way to rest! Are you sure she is not Laurel or Hardy or a member of the Keystone Cops? What a nightmare.! And what restraint you showed by not killing her.!

Should not her employer cover all of these damages for you? If your homeowner's insurance is like most, there will be a deductible to meet and it is so not fair for you to bear the burden.

Hoping you are getting a little rest and a new caregiver.

Love,

Karen

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Shalady, I am laughing at your "can't find good help an more" gramma was saying that 60 years ago. It is when the help argues with me that I tend pray to control my throwing arm. :) She was trained, bonded and offered through an agency, but these days, all the poor dears pay their own freight, I understand, including insurance. I am fairly sure she cannot afford the repair bills: she said that it is getting harder and harder to find work, and i am sure her reputation is no kind harbinger for her as she wanders.

Harry, it was poltergeists. I checked with the forest fairies, since there was fire involved and all, and they said pizza bribes are passe and now everyone wants micro brews and designer pasta menus. I suggested chocolate, and was soundly jeered. I offered champagne, and it is being taken under consideration.

If you can get Tatiana to straighten out anything at all, we are ahead of the game here. I think I can stand it all, other than losing gramma's wonderful old pyrex cake pan. But envision a slaunchwise crew of motley garb, greens and greys, stylish and slender, but understated in dress.

See a small fae opposite on stage, jumping up and down, yelling "You have offended! You have offended! You are incomprehensibly offensive! Please go away!"

The slaunch-wise crew are tittering at her.

Some days, it does not pay to get out of bed. I must remember that.

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Dear Jan,

Flabbergasted is the quite proper word for the day. Appalled might have been used more than once, and amazed was used at least three times. Yes, I think I will have good nursing care today. I suggested that no more surprises or outrageous happenings would be a welcome respite.

I am preparing to nibble my morning cream of rice with maple syrup porridge and later, 2 RNs will be here to help me to get my medications organized for the coming weeks, although they seem to change the pills on some sort of arcane round-robin schedule. But we will prepare two weeks of medications anyway.

This is all about getting strong again after the lack of care and the internal bleeding. I simply must get stronger. I am doing that slowly.

My writing is not up to my usual nattering, so I suppose I'd better go nibble this porridge and pretend the large white lumps are something exotic, like stuffed quail eggs. :) With lavender sugar violets, and that there are forest fairies fitting about, adding a lot of love and joy to my porridge.

Later, I get a tankard of ginger ale. Hardly ale, however, but more a fizzy concoction with ginger in it. But I like it.

Later today, we will welcome the new moon. I think that is today or tomorrow. :)

namaste,

fae

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fae,

I, too, am FLABBERGASTED! I am so sorry you came home from the hospital to rest...and got THIS to deal with! Not what you needed! I hope your ins. deductible is not too high, I still think the home health care place you hired her through should be responsible for it. Unbelievable! I wish people would listen more. She must be related to my doctor's assistant, except my doctor's assistant isn't even apologetic. I hope the lady learned something in all this: to LISTEN. I don't suppose better judgment will come of it as I think that's something you're born with or at least raised to have.

I hope today is much more restful for you!

Last night we had extremely high winds, it was scary walking Arlie in them, and the 2" of rain did not materialize, more like 3/4" I think, during the night. It's supposed to rain all day so I'm going to get dressed shortly and walk Arlie before it starts.

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