Exhausted From Being "strong"

[SB62]

It's been about 2 1/2 months since my Dad suddenly passed away. He was always so strong and healthy, and it happened in an instant. I took a leave from work t travel to Indiana to help Mom plan the entire funeral...from picking out the burial spots to, before I left 6 weeks later, helping her write a will excluding my only sibling, an older brother who estranged himself from the family. He said some horrible things to Dad last time he spoke to him on the phone 14 years ago.

On top of trying to deal with my grief, I have some other personal issues going on. I had to go back to work full time, and by the end of my shift I just cry on my way home I'm just so mentally and emotionally exhausted. . I've had multiple people tell me how strong I am and how well I'm dealing with everything. I don't want to be strong....help.

[kayc]

I'm sorry you lost your dad, my mom passed Aug. 21.

You are going through so much right now. I don't know any way around working when you need the income, but I want to assure you that your tears are not only okay, they are an outlet that is healthy for you.

I wouldn't worry too much about what people say, they mean well, but pretty much most of what they'd say would be hard for you to digest right now because you're grieving and that makes us very sensitive. They don't know what to say so normally say the wrong thing.

I hope you'll continue to come here, and read through some of the other "loss of parent" threads. It might help you to know you are not alone.

You don't have to "be strong" right now. It's okay to break down, it's okay to grieve. I know you have to hold it together at work, but when you're home you should have some time to let it out. If you have kids at home, go for a drive and scream at the top of your lungs! I used to go out in the woods and wail after my husband died. Fortunately no one ever saw me.

[maria53577]

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dad.. I lost my mom on June 27. Being a middle child, a lot of the responsibility landed on my shoulders and I too felt I had to be strong, especially for my dad.. it's a lot of pressure to put on oneself.

Remind yourself you are doing the best you can given the situation. The days/weeks/months following my mom's death were some of the worst times of my life. Be sure to take each day one at a time and try to do something nice for yourself each day.. whether it's a walk or closing your eyes for 10 min and breathing.. taking time out for yourself when you are going thru so much is necessary.. also try and reach out to your friends.. I had many friends help me thru the painful weeks following her death.

I will say, while the pain may never go away, I am finding hope each day. I feel my mom in my heart and know she is with me every day.

Take care and big hugs to you