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Hi guys, sorry Ive been MIA. Ive been lacking motivation but I completed grief therapy! So thats good. Im going to be replying to old posts too so bear with me.

Lately, Ive been feeling down in the dumps. Kind of like a storm cloud is following me. I no longer feel like a black cloud is over me but its more of a rainy gray cloud. Ive also been feeling disconnected and far away. Especially from my dad. I mean I know its cause hes gone but I feel so far away from him.

My mom thinks Im afraid to open up to feel him because Ive watched so many paranormal shows that I freak out lol which is true. But how do I open myself up to him?

Sometimes I dream about them but I dont remember them and he's still sick in them. Im not sure if I actually do dream of him or not. I asked to be visited but i dont know if I am.

Any advice? I feel like grief therapy took away a lot of the pain. Its chipped some of the pain but I am still having issues.

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I haven't heard of grief therapy that short of duration. Are you sure you're done? It takes a while to work through our grief. It took me the longest time to have a dream about my George, and it was years before I got a second one. some people have more, that used to bug me, like how come I don't dream about him when he was my night and day! I don't understand how that works. But I dream about him more now.

So long as you aren't afraid to think about your dad and aren't running from your feelings, that's the main thing, that we allow ourselves to feel. I'm not surprised you feel like it's rainy gray cloudy day, things just aren't the same after we're gone, we have to find our new normal, how our life is now that things have changed, and that can take a while...and some effort.

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It was meant to be in 12 weeks but I finished it in 4. I finished the book and wrote my dad a letter where I "completed" my relationship and such. I think Im going to reread the book sometime though. I didnt cry all therapy until I had to write the letter. Im done with the therapy program but not grief itself lol. she says when Im back in town we can meet up and talk. Im upset i dont get more dreams or feeling his presence!

I think thats why I am struggling. I want to go back to when I could just go over to his house and hang out. now its cold and empty. I just wish I could feel him.

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Shari, my dear, you might find comfort in exploring some of the work of Lou LaGrand, a wonderful author, teacher and grief expert known world-wide for his work and writing about what he calls Extraordinary Experiences of the Bereaved. He offers so many wonderful ways to stay connected to our loved ones who have died. Check out his website, Extraordinary Grief Experiences and his books and articles ~ or listen to one of his podcasts to get a sense of what he is about.

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