R.Everit55 Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 I stand here speaking to honor the most gracious, giving, loving, selfless, amazing love of my life. I can only pray that she hears us all today. I also stand here as a pillar of strength for our son and two grandsons. They are now my life and world. Just as they have always been for almost 27years, almost 7years, and 9 1/2years. My boys. OUR boys. My life was forever changed from the first time I laid my eyes on Mary 34years ago in college. She was a freshman, me a senior. I remember her very first words to me. In the most angelic perfect voice I've ever encountered. I asked her out immediately. And we dated for 8years and had a child together before marrying on this alter, in this church, by the same Father Tony who speaks here today. April 30, 1989, this beautiful lady made me the proudest man because our hearts were joined as one. Our gorgeous son was 13mos old that amazing day. It was such a culmination of pure utter everlasting love. She had given me the most precious baby boy and then she stood here in this church, locking eyes with mine and made promises to me that never once did she break between that beautiful day to January 9 this year when our Lord took her back to Heaven. I must say, I feel rather selfish as today my heart is utterly broken, for my beloved princess no longer lives here in the earthly way, but now flies free with the Angels above. I truly believe in my heart that our Lord puts us here on this earth for a purpose, to serve a specific purpose, even if while we are here we don't know that purpose. Yes, my beautiful wife was taken back from us, but our God is good all the time. Therefore, He knew that she served her purpose, and it was her time to go back to His arms. Many may be thinking "how cliché". No one need believe in what I believe and what my beautiful wife believed. I don't expect people to. Mary had a purpose. Many of them. She lived so unselfishly. Every day of her life. Her family meant absolutely everything to her. And by no means did she have to be to so selfless. She could have been a pained angry soul but she chose not that route. She suffered much trauma as a very young child with her siblings. Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and neglect. Thankfully, she and her siblings were adopted out. Sadly, though, not together. But in time they were all in touch and in each other's lives. Their bond was so strong. I must now look to her Mom and Dad who were amazing enough to adopt her and raise her with love. Thank you both for raising an amazing woman. For instilling love, confidence, faith, and respect in her. I thank you on her behalf for allowing her communication with her siblings. Sadly in June of 2004 her big brother Samuel "Ziggy" passed away from heart failure, diabetes that was all hereditary. He was just 43. She was a huge caretaker for him for many weeks and months, along with the help from his twin brother Leo. The bond they shared was indescribable. Leo had the same health ailments as his twin, only delayed. Through heart bypass surgery, multiple heart attacks and strokes, he fought and fought. Mary was by his side unselfishly the entire way. As was his wife Shannon. They lost Leo in May of 2013 at age 52. Mary was crushed at the losses of both her big brothers. While Leo was fighting for his life, his loving wife was diagnosed with Lymphoma. She was not just Mary's SIL... She was our sister. Plain and simple. No "in law" title. My Mary was so devoted to caring for her siblings. She was very stubborn in a good way. I never questioned her devotion. Even when I saw how exhausted she became at times, I never stood in her way. I saw in her eyes that devotion and really, who could ever stand in the way of what one could see in the eyes of another, after all the eyes are the windows to the soul. I saw that caring for Shannon really was wearing Mary down, following the passing of Leo. Still she kept on selflessly. And I supported her. Ultimately, Shannon lost her battle with The Cancer in September 2013. We believed in our heart of hearts that she could have survived if not for her broken heart in losing her love, Leo. Mary began having some concerning issues with balance and weakness, even before Leo passed. As well as heart issues, the same as her big brothers. Drs thought it was diabetic related and also diagnosed Parkinson's and MS. She was medicated for both these diseases. Some time passed and she was very swiftly losing muscle tone, speech, and movement. We returned to supposedly top rated physicians only to be told they misdiagnosed MS and it was now ALS she was facing and most likely been facing for a couple of years. I took her out of the nursing home and had her home. I refused to miss any time that she had left on this earth. It tore at our hearts. It tore at my heart to witness this angry disease steal her movement, her ability to eat, her ability to speak, and eventually her ability to breath. However, none of what this illness was robbing her of prevented our own communications. She was my soulmate. She was my heart. My world. My breath. Even though this ugly disease imprisoned her mind, heart, and feelings in her completely immobile body, we didn't needs words. Her eyes met mine and I knew how she felt. I knew the words her body was incapable of voicing. Her last moments in this earthly life were quiet. But in no means were misunderstood by our family. On the night of January 9th I told her to shut her eyes and just listen to our son. Then to me. I held her hand. I held my hand on her heart. I rested my head with hers. I told her if she needed to go, it is okay. She closed her eyes. And I felt her heart slow to a stop. At 11:15pm. I did not move. I laid with her quiet. It was indeed okay. She had earned her journey back to her Lord's arms. That is where she is now while we are here with grief in our hearts. I must say that I feel like half of my heart and soul has gone away with her. My beautiful Angel is once again though with her brothers and sister. And I'm jealous of Heaven. Mostly because the Angels all have my Angel now. And she is now able to hold our twin girls, whom went to Heaven at 27weeks gestation in 1991. What glorious time it must be in Heaven now. And how very much sweeter has Heaven become with her return there. I will forever hold my promise to her to live for our son and two grandsons and protect them with all the love that both she and I have for them. My sweet wife, the love of my life... Fly high free above, and never doubt my undying love. Now, I invite our son to speak for himself and his two sons. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Beautiful. Just beautiful. Thank you for sharing, Butch. Your heart has spoken. Anne 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Butch, That is beautifully written, and I know that Mary is smiling at your courage, your openness, and your love. Your love shines through. You have touched my heart. *<twinkles>* namaste, fae 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annew Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 So utterly beautiful, beyond words beautiful. Thank you for sharing it, Butch. We continue to walk with you in our hearts here. Blessings be, AnneW 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 15, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Thank you Anne, Fae, AnneW It came out of me so quickly. In a weeks time, it will probably be amended some. As I digest and let it sit with me. I feel like i could go on and on and on endlessly because I don't want the day to come. I mean I don't want it to feel final. Yet it is final. She isn't here on earth any longer. Acceptance is so gruelingly painful, numbing, exhausting..... I am forcing fluids in me. I've rather neglected that today. And so many tears have fallen. An entire river. I tried some soup, but only had a few bites. Going to take Little Man for a walk. And try to get him eating. He seems to be having the same hard time eating. Poor baby. He's so little anyway. He absolutely needs to eat. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalady Posted January 15, 2015 Report Share Posted January 15, 2015 Your love so beautifully expressed. Your Beloved must be so proud of you. I know you must feel her love as well. Thank you for sharing your tribute. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Shalady, thank you so much dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Butch, my dear, that you've chosen to share your beautiful and heartfelt eulogy for your Angel Mary with all of us is such a priceless honor ~ From my heart to yours, thank you. Your words are eloquent, and clearly inspired by the love you have for your precious wife. You are a very special man, and we are blessed to have you here with us. ♥ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 16, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Thank you Marty dear. I wanted to share some old photos of my wife, myself, Our son Allen and his wife, and our grandsons Noah and Caleb. And some of Shannon and Leo. The order is Shannon, Leo, and Noah... Shannon, Leo, and Caleb... Mary and I... Our son his wife and Noah and they were pregnant with Caleb... Mary and our son... Leo and Mary... Leo and Shannon... Our son his wife Noah and newborn Caleb... Grampy (me) and Caleb... Our son his wife and the boys... Grammy Grampy and our grandsons... Shannon and Leo's wedding with myself and my Bride... Shannon and My Wife... Me and our grandsons.... Noah Tonight... Caleb tonight... My bride many years ago... She and Little Man sleeping... She and Little Man... My Love... Leo... And me and my bride. ❤️ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 16, 2015 Report Share Posted January 16, 2015 Butch, Thank you for sharing your eulogy and your pictures...I feel a hush as sacred love was revealed...not unlike what George and I shared. it is so rare, few get to have a love like this, we were the lucky ones, to have had this for whatever time on earth we got together. It has not come to an end, but we must continue in faith and hope...faith that our love continues, hope in that day that we will be together again, as my signature declares. Beautifully written. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCarrie Posted January 17, 2015 Report Share Posted January 17, 2015 Dear new friend (of mine), You and your Mary spoke Heart to Heart, the deepest and most beautiful of all languages; one in which no spoken words are needed in order to be understood. Thank you for sharing with us your feelings, words, and precious photographs. Blessings and hugs, Carrie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 Thank you dear Kay and dear Carrie. I've thought of a few additions to this. I'm just too sick at the moment to change it. I have until Thursday. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 18, 2015 Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 I love all the pictures, Butch. You take care of yourself and only when you are feeling better make the changes for Thursday's service. Anne 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 Thank dear heart 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2015 There a few songs that will be played Thursday. Our wedding song... "Just You and I". And this song... Which I believe applies to all of us here who have loved and lost... ❤️ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2015 The service is Thursday at 10am. I am petrified. That I won't be able to say all I need and want to say without falling to pieces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 20, 2015 Report Share Posted January 20, 2015 Try not to be afraid. Remember, all of the people there at her service love her...and you. They all feel the same way about her except you feel it even more so. You will say what you need to say. You may think of something more later, but then again, for the rest of your life you will think of more things that are special about her. That is just how it is with special people! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted May 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2016 I just read my original post here. The eulogy from Marys service. I don't remember writing or speaking those words. I must have been on auto pilot but I'm in tears. What I wrote was a testimony to my princess' life and our life. It's my story that today I just can't talk about. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 21, 2016 Report Share Posted May 21, 2016 I remember some of these pictures. I love the one of Mary sitting with little man. You two look like a good couple. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted May 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2016 Thank you. 34 years together. My heart soul world breath spirit princess and so much more. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 23, 2016 Report Share Posted May 23, 2016 I found myself coming back to this thread, Butch. So many memories. Remembering our dear Shannon and Leo, you and Mary, all the family, and now our latest baby Gracie. We have traveled many miles together. Our love for each other touches our souls. As I approach the death anniversary of my beloved Jim on May 25th I am brought back to the memories of Shannon and your Mary and how their words comforted me. I still like Mathew West's song Save a Place For Me. Anne 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted May 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2016 Hugs a love Anne. I'm sorry you're facing the angelversary in a few days of your Jim's passing. We are all in this together. That is truer than true. I just have trouble articulating things. I'm thinking of you. There are new pics of Gracie in the I'm missing her thread above. I hope they will make you smile. Kay said she is the forums baby now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted May 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2016 PS-- Save a place for me is a song I listen to nightly. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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